Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom (Paperback)

~ (Author) "My friend Lucy became a single mother by choicesort of," a woman told me over the tapenade at a friend's fortieth birthday party..." (more)
Key Phrases: donor sibling registry, most single moms, anonymous donor insemination, New York City, Single Mothers, Turkey Baster (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A thoroughly engaging and informative book about the decision to become a single mother."
--Cynthia Nixon, Emmy award-winning actress, Sex and the City

"The perfect book for any woman considering single motherhood...You'll feel like you've entered the most amazing support group without ever leaving your home."
--Liz Tucillo, coauthor of He's Just Not That Into You

“I knocked myself up 7 years ago-and it's the best thing I ever did. Knock Yourself Up is a rare find-a serious guidebook that's also a great read."
--Camryn Manheim, Emmy-award winning actress

"Title aside, this book is a sober, honest look at the real women who face the decision about whether to have a child before they've been able to find a partner. Anyone who thinks women take this decision lightly, or don't consider men important, should read this for a closer look."
--Mikki Morrissette, author of Choosing Single Motherhood


"This is the right book oat the right time. Knock Yourself Up has terrific ideas and encouragement for all kinds of mothers.
--Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years

"A laugh-out-loud, funny, fresh, and fabulous debut!"
--Susan Shapiro, author of Five Men Who Broke My Heart

Product Description

More and more women are choosing not to let being single stand in the way of becoming a mom. In this honest and often hilarious guide, Louise Sloan shares the details of her own funny and heartbreaking journey to single motherhood-including cyberstalking an anonymous sperm donor, dealing with exploding semen vials, and being mistaken for a horse breeder-as well as the experiences of many other women across the country. Knock Yourself Up offers an inside look at the logistical and legal processes of opting for single motherhood, drawing on the personal stories of women who have done it. Addressing a range of topics such as coping with loneliness, financial struggles, complex reactions of family members, and more, Knock Yourself Up covers the emotional and practical issues and provides the kind of intimate answers you won't find anywhere else to questions like:

- When is the right time to decide to have a baby alone? - How do I choose the right sperm? - Is this fair to the kid? - How do I tell my parents? - How do I tell my dates? - What's it like to be pregnant on your own? - If I do this, will I ever have sex-or a life-again?

Informative and entertaining, Knock Yourself Up is a fun-to-read, up-to-date guide for any woman who is considering taking the baby plunge, with inspiring stories from women who have created happy families on their own.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Avery Trade (October 18, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1583332863
• ISBN-13: 978-1583332863
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #223,733 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Excellent Resource Guide for Potential Single Moms, November 18, 2007

By	Rachel Kramer Bussel "Cupcakes Take the Cake ... (New York City) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

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Knock Yourself Up is a fascinating, helpful guide to the wide world of single motherhood, as told by the funny and thorough Louise Sloan. I'm 32, and while not yet ready to take the plunge, I wanted to learn more about what might potentially be in my future. There are a lot of issues Sloan disucsses that I'd never considered, such as donor complications, talking to your child about where they came from, and the actual ins and outs of getting pregnant via artificial insemination (the image of the nitrogen tank will certainly stay with me!), and information about things like the Sibling Donor Registry, by which siblings of a given sperm donor can find each other.

To her credit, Sloan shares plenty of her story about being a single lesbian, fresh from a breakup, going through the insemination process solo in order to have her son, Scott, both the highs (taking her son to swing dance class!) and lows (dealing with hemorraghing at the hospital alone, for one). But having the perspectives of so many other women, including their horror and success stories, is what makes this book so valuable. The interviewees talk about everything from the intersection of race, stereotypes, and single parenthood, to how they're perceived by potential dates, neighbors, and peers, the positives of being on their own as well as the loneliness and pitfalls.

The title may be pithy and punchy, but the stories and issues included in Knock Yourself Up let women know that becoming a single mom is doable, but isn't a piece of cake by any means. In some ways, Sloan is a cheerleader for single motherhood, encouraging other women who think they can and want to do it to go for it, but she also very carefully lays out the costs, risks, and cons right along with the pros. From sex and dating as a pregnant woman and single mom, to dealing with well-meaning but often out-to-lunch family members and friends, as well as birthing options and more, this book offers plenty of food for thought for potential moms, especially what to look out for when it comes to choosing a donor, having a support system, and health concerns.

The fact that Sloan found so many of her interviewees via the group Single Mothers by Choice, and the camaraderie many of the women talk about sharing with that group, is comforting. I found the fact that Sex and the City got mentioned multiple times here a bit strange, though perhaps it's simply now a code for living a relatively posh, single city girl lifestyle, as contrasted with one's life as a single mom. Various kinds of single motherhood (from one child to multiple) are put forth here, along with an excellent resource guide for more information. This is an excellent book which I plan to consult again if and when the time comes that I decide to become a single mom.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly engrossing, November 11, 2007

By	Martha (New York) - See all my reviews

I am a single woman considering motherhood. On a three hour train ride, I was so engrossed that I couldn't believe I was already at my stop. The anecdotal format demystifies the whole process and with the range of experiences and points of view, helps me feel that there's a large, welcoming community out there that I'm already a part of.

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great Book for Would be Single Mums, But..., January 6, 2008

By	William H. Kelsey "seeker of truth" (the planet of Vulcan) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have only one reservation. While this book tells it like it is about choosing the right sperm bank, how challenging single pregnancy can be, and how being a single mum can often kill your social life (many people of either gender do not wish to become instant parents to a child who is not biologically their own), the one thing I think the book glosses over is how much your future child's wishes to know his/her biological origins should be taken into account. I've known many mothers who have conceived via unknown sperm donors and thought nothing about it at the time, but as soon as their children could speak, all their kids wanted to know is who is my daddy? What does he look like? What is his name? I'm completely not saying that it's wrong for women to choose single motherhood, far from it. When done responsibily, single motherhood by choice is much healthier for mother and child than a shot gun marriage and constant arguing. However, if one can use known donors or find a sperm bank that gives such information, please, for the sake of your future child, please do so. The donor may seem like just a means towards getting your child now, but to your child, he is half of who they are and they deserve to know him. Mazel tov to all future mums and their families.