Customer Reviews

Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Knock Yourself Up is a fascinating, helpful guide to the wide world of single motherhood, as told by the funny and thorough Louise Sloan. I'm 32, and while not yet ready to take the plunge, I wanted to learn more about what might potentially be in my future. There are a lot of issues Sloan disucsses that I'd never considered, such as donor complications, talking to your child about where they came from, and the actual ins and outs of getting pregnant via artificial insemination (the image of the nitrogen tank will certainly stay with me!), and information about things like the Sibling Donor Registry, by which siblings of a given sperm donor can find each other.

To her credit, Sloan shares plenty of her story about being a single lesbian, fresh from a breakup, going through the insemination process solo in order to have her son, Scott, both the highs (taking her son to swing dance class!) and lows (dealing with hemorraghing at the hospital alone, for one). But having the perspectives of so many other women, including their horror and success stories, is what makes this book so valuable. The interviewees talk about everything from the intersection of race, stereotypes, and single parenthood, to how they're perceived by potential dates, neighbors, and peers, the positives of being on their own as well as the loneliness and pitfalls.

The title may be pithy and punchy, but the stories and issues included in Knock Yourself Up let women know that becoming a single mom is doable, but isn't a piece of cake by any means. In some ways, Sloan is a cheerleader for single motherhood, encouraging other women who think they can and want to do it to go for it, but she also very carefully lays out the costs, risks, and cons right along with the pros. From sex and dating as a pregnant woman and single mom, to dealing with well-meaning but often out-to-lunch family members and friends, as well as birthing options and more, this book offers plenty of food for thought for potential moms, especially what to look out for when it comes to choosing a donor, having a support system, and health concerns.

The fact that Sloan found so many of her interviewees via the group Single Mothers by Choice, and the camaraderie many of the women talk about sharing with that group, is comforting. I found the fact that Sex and the City got mentioned multiple times here a bit strange, though perhaps it's simply now a code for living a relatively posh, single city girl lifestyle, as contrasted with one's life as a single mom. Various kinds of single motherhood (from one child to multiple) are put forth here, along with an excellent resource guide for more information. This is an excellent book which I plan to consult again if and when the time comes that I decide to become a single mom.

I am a single woman considering motherhood. On a three hour train ride, I was so engrossed that I couldn't believe I was already at my stop. The anecdotal format demystifies the whole process and with the range of experiences and points of view, helps me feel that there's a large, welcoming community out there that I'm already a part of.

KNOCK YOURSELF UP may have been intended primarily as a "guide to becoming a single mom" (as its subtitle indicates), but I'm prompted to write this review in hopes of correcting any notion that its audience ought to be limited to wannabe moms.

KNOCK YOURSELF UP truly is a marvelous piece of work--very well written and full of sweet, stirring, pungent stories about a wide variety of women who, like the author, chose to become a single mother. It put lumps in my throat, and giggles too. I laughed out loud while reading it on the beach in Florida, and folks in nearby beach chairs turned to look. It's easy to see why the book would be an invaluable helpmate to anyone contemplating the single motherhood journey, but Louise Sloan's terrific text is a great read for anyone who simply enjoys good anecdotes, who appreciates good writing (the language is sharp, witty, graceful), and not least who enjoys learning about things unfamiliar. ("In regular down-and-dirty human sexual reproduction, the semen, which can irritate the uterus, is filtered out by the cervical mucus, so only sperm can get in." Who knew?)

One of the things that impressed me about the book is that it is a mature, balanced, even-handed discussion. The author is obviously tickled pink at being a single mom, but there's none of the horn-tooting or proselytizing that one sometimes encounters in "Self-Help" books. Instead, there's a sincere appreciation for all sorts of tastes and inclinations (and disinclinations) and a genuine desire to share what she's learned. And such wonderful stories this woman shares: tender, affecting, poignant, and often laugh-out-loud funny.

In short, this book may have been meant primarily as a "girlfriend's guide to becoming a single mom," but this non-mom (and her husband too) found it to be utterly engaging, even memorable. It deserves a wide audience.

I have only one reservation. While this book tells it like it is about choosing the right sperm bank, how challenging single pregnancy can be, and how being a single mum can often kill your social life (many people of either gender do not wish to become instant parents to a child who is not biologically their own), the one thing I think the book glosses over is how much your future child's wishes to know his/her biological origins should be taken into account. I've known many mothers who have conceived via unknown sperm donors and thought nothing about it at the time, but as soon as their children could speak, all their kids wanted to know is who is my daddy? What does he look like? What is his name? I'm completely not saying that it's wrong for women to choose single motherhood, far from it. When done responsibily, single motherhood by choice is much healthier for mother and child than a shot gun marriage and constant arguing. However, if one can use known donors or find a sperm bank that gives such information, please, for the sake of your future child, please do so. The donor may seem like just a means towards getting your child now, but to your child, he is half of who they are and they deserve to know him. Mazel tov to all future mums and their families.

I've enjoyed reading this book because it gives real examples of the issues and joys that a variety of women have experienced in their decision to become single mom's. It's not preachy, but the general theme is very supportive of the choice to become a single mother. It tells some stories of women who waited too long or had a lot of medical hurdles to overcome in addition to the social or financial hurdles, but that in the end, it seems the vast majority of the women referenced in the book were successful and very happy with their decision.

The title gives away the lighthearted feel of this book. I ordered several books at once, and this was by far the most 'fun' to read. There are better books for understanding the 'issues' involved in choosing to become a single mother, but this one is a great addition to your collection so that you might remember why it is that you are considering this choice in the first place. Ms. Sloan's down to earth treatment, and qualitative collection of data (rather than the very quantitative approach of much of the rest of the data on the subject) are a respit from the gruelling task of deciding whether this is the right path for you. At the same time, there is information (qualitative data, as I mentioned before) in this book that isn't really in the other must-reads on the subject... primarily the answers to "How might this make me feel?", "How do others respond to issues like rejection or a child's daddy questions?", and even "Is anyone else weirded out by concieving in a doctors office with annonymous sperm that costs more than a trip to Disney World for a family of four?" My advice: read 'Knock Yourself Up', then read Mattes and Morrissette for the details and statistics you'll need to make the final decision and arm yourself for the journey.

This book is an excellent resource for any woman considering becoming a single mother and is written with grace and humor. It is more than just a guide book to becoming a single mother though, it is the story of the deep love and affection that can be had in a single mother family.

Beautifully written with a realistic perspective concerning the important decision to become a mom. I am not a mom, nor do I plan to become one but, as a woman, I related to women deciding to do what is correct for them. And, the author's personal story is poignant as well as humorous. Give this to your girlfriends, mothers, fathers and anyone who supports women as people capable to choose life on their own terms.

As a single mother by choice to two lovely children, I read this book wondering if it would mirror my own feelings. It does. Sloan writes great narrative with a truly professional journalistic bent. She shares the many paths, emotions, successes, and challenges that a single mother by choice faces. A great book for anyone wanting to know what it really means to take your destiny in your own hands and create the family of your dreams.

If you are thinking about becoming a SMBC, this book helps you look at all the different aspects of what that entails. Including, how to respond when asked about daddy and pregnancy alone.