Customer Reviews

Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother-to-be

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(17)

 

 

Please, may I review with fewer than one star? In all my life I have never, never, read a book as bland and inherently dull as Rebecca Eckler's Knocked Up. Buying it along with a few books on pregnancy, I thought it would be a breath of fresh air, a break from all the other tomes offering serious advice. Nope.

Why on earth did this writer feel she should share these uninspired musings on pregnancy? How on earth can a 30 year-old woman be so clueless about her own body? Is she honest? Maybe, but boy she is so self-centred and self-absorbed, while pondering why her friends are just that. I have no use for this book or for her writing and am incrdibly sorry I spent $14 to purchase it. What a sad little life she leads, valuing all the wrong aspects of her soulless existence while truly feeling she is a hip mother-to-be!

Someone out there should write a funny yet informative first-hand book about first time pregnancy. This is absolutely not it. Are we supposed to sympathise with this selfish and shallow woman? By the end of the book (and I was so glad it came) I could not stand her. This woman does not have a single ounce of writing talent. Read anything else, anything at all.

A stupid, stupid woman who puts her own needs first at every turn. This, she thinks, is "hip" motherhood. One for the trash basket.

My interest in considering reading a book like this was a desire to understand the changes occurring in a man or woman before and after they have a child. I've found it fascinating that almost everyone in our society, many of whom have heretofore lived lives of independence, affluence and freedom would undertake something so radically at odds with their lifestyle as having a child, and often without a murmur of objection. The sorts of questions I have about child birth and child bearing are: why do it? are there certain pivotal events in the single life that precipitate the wish to have a child? If so, what are they? Is the decision to have a child an indication of strength and devotion or resignation and ignorance? Fundamentally, how does a person change when they have a child? In what aspects for the good, and what aspects for the worse?

Rebecca Ekler writes her memoir in diary format, and the first entry is the aftermath of her engagement party. At the party she got really drunk, and because of that and the "evil", possessed new black dress she barely wore that makes men do evil things to her she had unprotected sex with her fiancé for the first time. It's interesting she intuitively knows she is pregnant the morning after. This is confirmed by the *four* pregnancy tests she uses to make 100% certain. It CAN'T be true!

Before I read the book I read the near complete and vehement scorn this book received by almost all the other reviews out there, especially the ones here on Amazon. I noticed the book was subsequently removed from Amazon and re-appeared a few months later in March 2005 with a new cover. The scorn the book previously received was so universal that it reminded of a quote by George Bernard Shaw: "all great truths begin as heresy".

I wanted to believe this quote. I wanted to believe that scorn arose mostly from doting mothers incensed at Ekler's negative attitude toward pregnancy and her candour in expressing herself it and the prospect of child bearing. I wanted to believe that the scorn was a knee jerk reaction by mothers neck deep in child bearing, living in quiet desperation, who never had the sense of self Ekler has to acknowledge, much less confront, how much having a child causes your life to recede into the background in favor of theirs. I wanted to read about a modern woman taking a stand for herself and her life.

But after reading the book I realized the scorn towards this book is probably much more due to who Ekler is as a person. I think Ekler's world view is most succinctly expressed as follows: "My fiancé is always telling me that I "live in a dream world" and that in "the real world," not everyone has to like me. I always argue back that living in a dream world is better than living in the real world, which, I suppose, is where most consultants, stockbrokers and lawyers live. Most of my friends - artists, television personalities, and writers - live in the dreamy place I inhabit. The "real world" is for people who pay their bills on time. I'm glad I don't live there."

When you live in a dream world, you are free to mold reality in whatever way suits you, whatever the consequences. It's your world, right? There you are God, and the dream world's laws are your laws. But with someone as child-like, insecure and fearful as Ekler, living as an adult in a dream world, when the real world comes knocking, it's a recipe for a poisonous personality. The book is rife with instances of her narcissistically manipulating those close to her, making them accord with Rebecca's dream world laws, whatever they might be at the time. For instance, when her fiancé decides to go on a diet during the throes of her pregnancy weight gain, she is enraged - she can't accept this decision at all. Here in her dream world the fiancé only wants to lose weight to impress his attractive nutritionist - but in the real world this is called bitter paranoia or neurosis. She has absolutely no evidence that he even has a nutritionist, much less an attractive female one. Even worse, far from accepting a positive decision by her fiancé to improve himself by dieting, she enacts the textbook definition of narcissism (the desire to see only yourself in other people) when she tells the fiance "I want you to gain weight with me!". An even more appalling instance of her petulance is an episode with a fellow appearing occasionally whom she calls Cute Single Man. (It's slightly odd how she never names any of the significant males in her life). This guy is one of those not-quite-boyfriend-but-not-quite-friend-but-nothing-has-happened-yet relationships. In one instance he offers to come over to Ekler's apartment (the fiancé lives in another city) and she asks him to bring a tub of chocolate ice cream. He arrives with a tub of toffee flavored ice cream. Instead of doing what most of the real world does (accepting the gesture with some measure of gratitude), Ekler launches into the most hissy, callous rant against the poor guy for not getting the exact flavor she wanted. Incredibly, she even demands that he go back to the store and exchange it for the chocolate ice cream. She also tries to dictate who this guy dates, even though they are not dating. Yet, despite her misgivings following this ice cream episode, shortly after she decides to capriciously cast off Cute Single Man because the relationship seems awkward and "I need to focus on my baby and my future". I've been on the receiving end of this sort of capriciousness and hollow reasoning from a few women too and it really hurts. Believe me, any men in Ekler's life with a modicum of self respect have fled from her.

Often this book is like watching a horror film that's unintentionally comic, absurd and entertaining. She describes occasional episodes of a manic state she calls "The Fear" where she hysterically flutters around about whatever (often trifling) thing is causing the sky to fall in the dream world. Try to imagine the Evil Dead movies or the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video, morning sickness, shopping at Baby Gap, and fleeting images of the Sex and the City lifestyle.

The course of the book is Ekler going through the typical motions of pregnancy, very reluctantly and peevishly coming to grips with it. Toward the end of her pregnancy she even comes to accept it and eventually welcomes her new child's arrival. I've never read a book that ended so abruptly. Only about half a sentence on the last page gives a faint indication of a conclusion. Pretty lame, considering that Ekler is a columnist in a daily newspaper.

Rebecca Ekler is quite witty, and I really dig her sense of humour. It even comes close to redeeming all the toxic aspects of her personality ... but not quite.

I seriously cannot believe that anyone not related to Ms. Eckler would give this piece of crap more than one star. As a new mother, reading her newspaper column regarding pregnancy made me so incredulous that someone could actually be so unrealistic and lacking in any maternal fibre that I cancelled my subscription. This woman cannot write. She is incredibly vain, shallow and selfish to the point that she requires therapy (and not the retail kind). A total waste of time and money. Yuck.

I think the amount of one-star reviews speak for themselves, but I wanted to address those leaving comments on one-star reviews saying, "come on, it's just satire! have a laugh!"

If this were a fictitious novel, I would still be appalled and annoyed by this book, but I wouldn't feel absolutely disgusted. However, THIS IS NOT FICTION! This is a true story. It's a memoir of sorts. A true story about a pregnant woman who smokes and drinks. This isn't funny. This is a story about a woman who is willingly putting the life of her child at risk. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not laughing.

This book is so awful. I seriously think the good reviews on here are written by the author's friends. The best comparison I can make is this must be what Britney Spears is like pregnant. If you like that kind of thing, go for it. Otherwise save your money and your time. If you are looking for fun pregnancy books try the Girlfriend's guides. A great book about the experience of having a baby is Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott.

I bought this book, being a new mom, looking for some humor and insight from another 20-something. I have not been more sorry to have spent money on anything in a VERY long time. Had this book been fiction (as I orginally thought) it may have had some redeeming qualities. The fact that it is reality is abominable. To read about someone knowingly harming their unborn child in such blatant ways is terrible. I agree that no one should support this woman and feed into her vanity. I intend to return this book and tell everyone I know not to read it.

I'll admit I laughed at one or two parts of this book but honestly it sucked. I kept waiting and waiting for it to get better. Not a chance. Scheduled c-sections? Smoking or drinking while pregnant? McDonalds daily? Way to go for promoting your baby will turn out fine despite treating your body like crap. Its no wonder women have the views of birth that they do! Stupid books like this one only present those things as normal. Dont waste your time.

I bought this book after reading the first couple of pages thinking "oh, a good story about how a child changes someone's life for the positive". Whatever!! I am trying to conceive and I was looking for a feel good funny book about being pregnant--this is not it. This woman is so selfish and I cannot stand it. Throughout the whole book it was all about vanity instead of the joy of welcoming a new life into the world. If you are that kind of person, then this is your book. It is not a good book for those of us who view pregnancy and parenting as a gift and a privelage.

Like anyone else who purchased this book, I added it to my pile of pregnancy related books when I found out that I was pregnant and thought that it would be good for a laugh (in the same fashion of Risa Green's "Tales from the Underbelly"). I couldn't have been more wrong. The first words uttered in Eckler's "diary," introduce you to a woman so self-indulgent, self-involved, and immature that one finds it shocking that she has found someone to marry her. As I journeyed with her throughout her pregnancy, I was disgusted to find that she continued to periodically smoke and drink and that she found a doctor who had no problem with this. Her main concern throughout her pregnancy was not of her unborn child's health, but of her weight gain constantly asking her fiancee whether or not he thought that she was fat. But, funnily enough, it never did stop her from entering McDonald's for daily junk food runs. At no point does she stop to ask herself, "is this good for my baby?", and rather continues to indulge in her every whim. She whines incessantly about people who do not bombard her with questions about her pregnancy, but admits that she never cared about other women's pregnancies in the past. This is just another example of this selfish, immature woman. The "story" ends with her having an elective c-section because she was too "scared" to push out the daughter whose name she found on the pages of US Weekly. As a mother who has friends who try desperately to get pregnant to no avail, I found that reading her account just left me angry. She is a woman who does not deserve the many blessings that she has received in her life and does not seem to appreciate them.

Please save yourself the time and do not read this, nor any of her other books. Her second book, in which she charmingly refers to her baby as a "dictator" is about her complaining daily about the chores of motherhood which surprised me due to the fact that she had a full time nanny raising her child. Even the moments that are supposed to be "tender" with her, are forced and even wholy selfish. For example, her and the fiancee return to her in-law's appartment after a dinner out to find their daughter Rowan sleeping. Since she is told not to pick up the baby by everyone in the room, she does it anyone simply as a way of showing that she is "mom" and therefore can do whatever she pleases. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt in moving on to her second awful book thinking that maybe in the first she was just hormonal, but sadly, I was wrong. She is just a pathetic, immature child who really has no idea what motherhood is truly like.