I Know I'm in There Somewhere: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity [Paperback]

Helene Brenner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 3, 2004

A Psychological Guidebook for Women in the 21st Century

Does life keep distracting you from acknowledging what you feel, what you need, and what you want? Are you too busy listening to what everyone else wants—your husband or boyfriend, your kids, your parents, your friends, or boss, even what the media tells us to be—to the point that you no longer know what you want?

You’re not the only one.

Based on her work with over a thousand women across the country, psychologist Helene G. Brenner has learned that women feel the impulse to accommodate, adapt and mold themselves to serve others at their own expense. Her solution is an invigorating new approach to women's psychology. The key to transformation, she explains, is not self-improvement, but self-acceptance—affirming and validating what we truly feel and experience and who we already are. Dr. Brenner shows women how to discover and express what they truly want and value, guiding you toward your own Inner Voice. I Know I’m In There Somewhere will show you:
- How to embrace, rather than fix, the Inner Voice that has been there all along
- How to distinguish the Outer Voices (the expectations of the people around you) from Your Inner Voice (the voice of your true self that goes beyond intuition and guides you wisely towards what is right for you)
- What to do when you feel that the essence of who you are is being stifled by external demands and expectations
- Why trying to change yourself doesn’t work, and why gentle acceptance of yourself and all of your feelings is the gateway to lasting change.

Filled with lively case studies, surprising insights, loads of practical advice and powerful "innercizes" to help readers access and live from their own inner voice, this book offers women a whole new way to relate to themselves, improve their relationships and create the lives they truly want.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Brenner, a psychologist who runs workshops for women, focuses on the significant problem: women often are taught to behave as "people pleasers" and keep their emotions hidden rather than express their true feelings. Instead of advocating that women change themselves, Brenner wants women to be aware of their concerns. "I call this a `self-acceptance' book, rather than a `self-improvement' book, because I truly believe that you don't have to change or fix or improve yourself in order to be happy," she writes in her introduction, continuing, "I believe that living a fulfilled life comes from learning how to listen to your inner voice, to the truth of your inner being in all of the ways that it speaks to you, and to live from it." The book offers practical strategies focused on finding the "Inner Voice" in five stages: Knowing, Sensing, Feeling, Wanting and Voice of the Larger Self. Using many real-life examples, Brenner offers advice on such common issues as loneliness within marriages, unresolved issues with aged parents, job difficulties, etc. Included are sidebar exercises such as spending 15 minutes writing down wants, reading these wishes aloud and talking to a friend without censoring any feelings. Women who are comfortable expressing their feelings will find this book reassuring, but some of Brenner's suggestions are simplistic and not particularly original.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

HELENE G. BRENNER, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and the director of Women’s Counseling and Psychological Services in Frederick and Bethesda, Maryland. She is a master therapist and seminar leader who has used the ideas and methods described in this book to help hundreds of women experience the fulfillment of living from their true selves and Inner Voices.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Gotham (May 3, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592400604
• ISBN-13: 978-1592400607
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #68,064 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

For more than 20 years, psychologist Helene G. Brenner, Ph.D. has been helping women, and men as well, to overcome past conditioning and begin to trust their inner selves. In doing so, they learn how to accept themselves fully, listen to their deepest feelings and innermost desires, and create the life they truly want.

Dr. Brenner was born in New York City and grew up in Middletown, New York. Early in her career, she noticed that among the women she treated, there was a difference between the freedom and equality they supposedly had and the way they really felt inside. Even women who grew up in the '70s and '80s, who'd been taught they could do anything they wanted and had pursued careers of their own, still felt torn inside. They felt chronically dissatisfied with themselves. Many found that, despite their better judgment, they still "gave themselves away" in their relationships. They were unhappy in their lives, yet believed that everyone else had it more together.

From this realization, Dr. Brenner decided to become a psychologist specializing in women's psychology to help women go from tearing themselves down, giving themselves away and boxing themselves in, to living from the wisdom and passion of their authentic selves.

Since writing I Know I'm in There Somewhere, Helene has conducted workshops throughout the country, including Omega Institute, the Learning Annex and the Sacred Circles Conference held at the Washington National Cathedral. In August of 2011 she will be conducting a weeklong retreat for women at Kripalu, the personal growth retreat center in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts. Her work has been featured in dozens of magazines, TV and radio shows, including Self, Ladies Home Journal, Fitness, Body and Soul (now Whole Living) and on the Montel Williams Show.

Dr. Brenner received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Denver in 1990. She lives with her husband, fellow therapist and co-author Larry Letich, LCSW, and their two daughters in suburban Maryland.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Exciting, Empowering, Engaging!, June 3, 2003

By 

Ann Weiser Cornell "Ann Weiser Cornell" (Berkeley, CA United States) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: I Know I'm In There Somewhere (Hardcover)

I've been in the human potential field for over 30 years and I've rarely seen a book that excited me as much as this one. There is a quiet revolution here, a revolution in the way we approach our own development as human beings.

In a refreshing change from the usual "here's what's wrong with you and here's how you fix it" approach, Brenner answers this question: What would growing and changing be like if they were done from the perspective that there is nothing wrong with us to start with? With inspiring real-life stories and practical, inviting exercises, she guides us through a path of inner acceptance that includes honoring what we know, sensing the wisdom of our bodies, and honoring our true desires.

Most of the time when I read self-help books I ignore the exercises. But Brenner's exercises (she calls them "Innercises") are so tempting, I found I was doing them effortlessly. They are deeply validating, including one on how to start from what you DO know (you know more than you think you do!). I was in a workshop last weekend, read one of the exercises out loud, and everyone in the group found it so inviting that we spent the next half hour doing it together. The glowing faces when we finished were a testament to the ease and empowerment found all through this book.

This profound, beautiful, and nurturing book is so packed with inspiration, I find myself going back to every section again and again. There is so much here, I feel I can only scratch the surface in a review. Spirituality, relationships, career, manifesting our dreams... Yes it is for women AND it is for all of us. We all need to reclaim what we really know and who we really are.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Like therapy in a book, June 23, 2003

By 

Marla from Wisconsin (Racine) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Know I'm In There Somewhere (Hardcover)

I saw this book at a local bookstore, was really attracted by the cover, and opened it up and read the inside sleeve. I really liked the fact that Helene Brenner was a psychologist who ran a clinic and worked with a lot of women. I figured she might know what she was talking about. I was really looking for something. My life's pretty good, but you know how it is -- two kids in school, a job, a marriage that's as good as any I've seen but not exactly exciting anymore, and I've been thinking a lot lately, is this all there is? What am I going to DO with the rest of my life?
I REALLY like this book, and I've already recommended it to about four friends. The best thing I like about it is that it DOESN'T promise sixty days to a totally new you or anything like that. It never says that you think too negatively, or you're being a victim, or you're co-dependent, or you're not "spiritual" enough or loving enough or you have the wrong belief systems. The book is very -- the only word I can describe it is GENTLE. It says, hey, you're human, you're a woman, isn't that great, be compassionate to yourself. I've never seen that in a book before.
But what's so neat is that now I have the book in my head. It's funny, I've never heard the author, Helene Brenner speak, but during the day I hear her "talking" to me. I get into a situation, and I find myself asking myself, "Now what do I know to be true here?" Or "What am I FEELING right now? Listen. Pay attention to it." Of course, I went straight for the chapter on relationships. I tried the "innercize" called "the power of positive wanting" on my husband, which is you say what you're not happy about, then you say what you want, then you tell him the GOOD things that will result if he listens to you this time (you'll feel good about him, you'll feel closer, etc..), and darned if it didn't work! (I haven't told him I got it from a book.)
I feel a lot, lot better since buying this book. Who knows, maybe I'll still have to get therapy to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, but this book is a whole lot cheaper. And if I DO get therapy, the therapist is going to have to talk like Dr. Brenner.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Holistic Scaffolding for Your Own Unfolding, May 9, 2004

By 

Kirsten Keppel (Washington, DC United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: I Know I'm in There Somewhere: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity (Paperback)

How can you "improve" yourself until you've first fully accepted yourself? That's this author's premise - and the message of her book. This book is about surfacing, aligning, adjusting and attuning everything that's RIGHT with us so we can use it to the fullest in contributing our gifts to the world. You won't have to shed pounds or tone muscles to benefit from this book - it's about shedding excess inner weight and toning one's inner voice muscles. Dr. Helene Brenner's book is distinct because it's specific, solid, and "sentient" - you feel you are one on one with her surfacing your inner mysteries. The "innercizes" guide you on an inner dive to surface answers as unique as you. The book provides a scaffolding for your own unfolding - sans gimmicks, catchy buzzwords, prescription diets or trite phrases. Dr. Brenner offers a step-by-step process of looking within to emerge without by engaging your full senses, intuition, logic and knowledge. Along the way, the author explains why our resistance to living our truths grows so loud the closer we get to living them, why our bodies are instruments of smart, intuitive knowledge, and what we can do to burst through our own cocoons. If you read this book and really "work" it, you'll come out closer to becoming the butterfly you are.