Customer Reviews

I Know Just What You Mean: The Power of Friendship in Women's Lives

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I'm currently reading this book and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! Ms. Goodman and Ms. O'Brien know just what I mean when it comes to my friends. The writing style is making this book much more than a dry analysis on women's friendships like some of the things I've read in the past. So far, I can identify with EVERYTHING they and their participants in this book have gone through. Anyone who takes their female friendships as seriously as I do will love this book. What I really have enjoyed is the fact that I've laughed out loud many, many times over things that the authors have written about their own relationship that makes it so real and so sweet. I nod in agreement and think "been there, done that." Also, the individual analysis by each author on the same event is really enlightening. Sometimes friends incorrectly assume that the same shared event is seen the same way. Sometimes it doesn't even come close. Through these first-person accounts, I'm enjoying the process of getting to know Ellen and Pat as real-live people. They show themselves as very smart, sensitive women who really have committed a major part of their lives to each other through thick and thin. I doesn't get any better than that. Hey, I know from experience. True friendships are heaven sent and should never take it for granted.

I'm almost hating that this reading adventure will soon come to an end because it will be like saying good-bye to old friends.

I highly recommend this book to women everywhere who cherish their friends and for men who are wanting a better understanding what makes women's relationships such a powerful thing.

I concur with the previous laudatory reviews. These writers are right on the mark; I feel as if they have lived inside my friendships - the competition for men (one took my husband), the much appreciated support through the rough spots of life, and the fun of time spent with other women having a good time - sharing stories, feelings and being silly at 60! I plan to send copies of this book to my dearest friends. I know they will recognize what we have shared - some for 45 years. Thank you Ellen and Pat! See, I feel as if I am a first name basis having read your book!

This books says what we all think and feel about friendship - through their eyes (the authors) and those of the friends they interview. It tackles the tough and serious aspects (i.e. competition) of friendship as well as what comes naturally to most of - support, understanding, trust. The format of the book weaves beautifully around the points the authors are making. Why read it? The last book I read that said anything important to me about friendship and women was the Ya Ya Sisterhoood. This book one ups - its about real people, read friends. All my friends will own this book with me.

This is a marvelous book about friendship, especially women's friendships. It's not just a mushy "aren't we wonderful" story, but a real live account of how it is to be and have close friends. The very ability to maintain such a longterm, intimate relationship with another person is not something that everyone can achieve. If you can, it's such a gift. I have such a friend and she's getting my copy next time I see her. I know she'll love it, too.

I have been blessed by some wonderful friendships. I have muddled through conflicts in others. I have always thought that friendship was a powerful relationship that gained far too little attention. In this book I found women who describe feelings and needs and situations I have been trying to express for years.

We sacrifice friends too easily, not giving ourself permission to care deeply enough. In the chronicling of their own path and those of others Ellen and Pat have given all women a priceless gift. The possibilities of a deep and meaningful friendship unfold, and the pitfalls that can hamper growth are discussed in words that welcome and are easy to read.

If this book is widely enough shared, perhaps our daughters will be able to develop friendships earlier and avoid the destructive nature of middle-school cliques, or falling into the arms of the wrong man to satisfy their need for a friend.

I enjoyed this book for the first 40 pages...at which point it became disappointingly repetitive. I continued to plow through the book, hoping for some less obvious observations and insights, but they never really came. If you have a best friend (especially one you've had for a long time), most of what you read in this book will be obvious to you, and not very new or thought-provoking. That's unfortunate, because I usually enjoy the finely-honed insights of both of these authors. There are two tests of friendship that I wish the authors had addressed in more depth: What do you do when your best friend marries a man you can't stand? And what do you do when your best friend's parenting approach and values turn out to be completely different from yours? In the end, I'm not sure who the real audience is for this book - it's not women who've maintained long-term friendships, and it's not really women who haven't, and if the authors' assessment of men's relationships is correct, it's not really men, either.

I am lucky to have some wonderful, long-standing friendships. However, over the last few years I have not given them the time and attention they deserve. Thank you to Patricia O'Brien and Ellen Goodman for reminding me about the important role these friendships play in my life. I saw the authors on the Today Show several months ago and was inspired to read their book. The personal insights, experiences and delightful antecdotes they share helped me refocus and get back in contact -- in a healthy and meaningful way -- with many significant people in my own life. I've encouraged many friends to read this book and jump start their own relationships -- and it's worked!

What a delight it was to come across this terrific book! I think the authors were able to capture something many women feel throughout their lives but sometimes have difficulty articulating -- the precious nature of their friendships with other women. I found myself wanting to contact those women with whom I've shared my joys and pains to tell them, first, how important they have been to me throughout my life, and second, to READ THE BOOK. Goodman and O'Brien were able to cover a wide spectrum of sociocultural backgrounds in their interviews with women, focusing on the commonality of the experience of friendship in women's lives. I thought the book was provocative and stimulating; it made me examine my relationships and intensified my appreciation of the women I cherish as my friends. It's a pleasure to know that I've read a book I can recommend with great enthusiasm to women I know -- and to men as well.

This book was interesting and uplifting in its examination of a friendship that has weathered all the ups and downs that life can bring, including divorce, death, and feelings of competitiveness. However, I feel that Goodman and O'Brien chose to discuss friendships with women who were very similar to themselves, i.e. women who are college-educated and fairly economically well-off. The authors are unusual in that they have the financial resources to take vacations together,to fly to visit one another, and to make lengthy long distance phone calls. I felt that the authors' lacked sensitivity to the fact that many women are not so fortunate. A few of the women portrayed are exceptions, but by and large Goodman and O'Brien have examined friendship in the context of privileged lives. I would have liked to read a book that focused on very ordinary people who were blessed with extraordinary friendships.

This book legitimized the importance I also place on friendships. I am looking forward to discussing it at my September book group. The concept of "friends of the road" and "friends of the heart" as mentioned in the book is a clarifying way of looking at serial relationships. It helps relieve some guilt I have felt when I have moved on and not looked back. I also valued the chapter on men's friendships - no judgements just exploration of the differences.