Customer Reviews

I Know Why The Aliens Don't Land!

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

As I read this book, a few things happened.

The first thing was a real enjoyment of the author's voice - his intentionally casual, quick, acrobatic, conversational, yet intimate use of words. It is a gutsy and also gut-wrenching collection of experiences.

The second thing was somewhere on page 73, in the middle of Chapter 17. I read with a creeping sense of dread and a resounding gong in my head that was saying "Pay attention. You know this already." What happened was that I closed the book and put it down. I needed to absorb what I already knew but had not heard anyone say before. I had to take a break that lasted about a day before I could plunge back in. That's what happens when I read a good book.

The third thing was a flashback to a corporate meeting I attended after the company I used to work for had announced the closing of our office and impending lay offs. The new CEO told us how well the company was doing, how sales were up, how this was an exciting time to be part of the transition as the office was closing and moving out of state. He challenged us to work harder than we ever had to make sure the transition of job responsibilities to the new staff (that would replace us) would be smooth and wonderful. He talked about checking our moral compass. I sat in the back of the room and wondered why nobody said anything. Not that I said anything either, but still. I wondered how I would be paying my rent in a few months. I wondered about his own moral compass, that he could stand up there and issue forth such a speech, and I wondered who had written it for him and how he could sleep at night.

The fourth thing I remembered was a party I had been to a few years ago. The ceiling of the kitchen was filled with balloons. As the party progressed, someone got out a black marker and drew happy faces on some of the balloons. I followed suit and started drawing alien faces on them. You know, the big almond shaped black eyes and straight slit of a mouth. People laughed nervously. And then this guy got mad at me and told me I was ruining the party. And then the host of the party got a knife out and popped them. People clapped. Nobody wanted to talk about this later. I wondered why a cartoon face of a mythical and imaginary creature made people fearful and angry and could ruin parties. I mean, they aren't real, right? Right?

The other thing I remembered was when this guy I dated for a few months in 1994 said these words to me: "If I wanted a girlfriend, she would be someone just like you. I think I am falling in love with you. I don't think I can see you ever again." And then he called me a few hours later wanting to know if he had done the right thing.

To quote Jeremy Vaeni: "Wait... what?"

This book will shake a lot of events from your past loose from those dark corners where you have had to bury them so that you can be a grown up and make a life for yourself. It will make you look at them in a new way.

Tap into the Saturday mornings of your childhood in front of the TV. Remember your Saturday morning cereal and singing along to the commercials that were as good as the shows you were watching? Tap into your inner Mikey and try it. Not because you'll eat anything. But because you will like it.

This is not a book. It is a collection of words thrown on paper in an attempt to be clever. It is total trash. My copy is now swimming with the remnants of rain in the bottom of my garbage can. Who did he pay to write the above reviews????
Has no business being listed with books on UFO's

"I Know Why the Aliens Don't Land" is a book I didn't really "get" as a whole until a few hours after finishing it. The connection among the autobiographical narrative, the interviews and the interspersed news bulletins eluded me most of the way through but then I decided it doesn't matter. I enjoyed it; laughed and cringed. The starkly honest, insightful and acerbic telling of the author's personal stories strike a difficult-to-achieve balance between humor and sorrow, the inconceivable and the uncomfortably familiar; said another way, a sharp kick right in the old breadbasket. I let the final pages wash over me as I struggled to understand them and, in my own way, I did perfectly.

Jeremy Vaeni, though young, has great wisdom regarding the way of things. This is not necessarily an "alien book," in fact there is little discussion about the actual entities themselves. The book goes deep into Jeremy's life and his interactions with certain individuals who helped shape it. After getting this background, I highly recommend the last sections of the book as they contain the gist of spirituality. Also, check out episode 5 from The Book Of Toth in which he narrates a similar scenario about what god and existence really are.

When it's THIS book. This material is less of a "book" in the traditional sense, and more of a pleasant afternoon at a diner, catching up with that dude who always has the cool and funny stories. The author interrupts himself to go on tangents, to give you poetry, to give you SNL-style bits... all while telling anecdotes that make you laugh, cringe, ponder... and laugh again. The stories come from a unique perspective- a perspective that you grow to both love and get pissed at as the pages get turned. His views and comments on the world around him generate instant recognition: even if you could never conceive yourself of being in those situations. I couldn't begin to describe the physcial characteristics of a "Crouching Beavis, Hidden Butthead", but I can totally pick him (or her) out when I see him... or her. He creates the archetypes that we haven't yet come across, but look forward to being able to reference now that we know them.

Oh, and it's just plain funny. Did I mention that yet?

Most books have words. This one has a whole mess of 'em. Words can be put together to form sentences. Sentences can be put together to form paragraphs, Paragraphs can be put together to form books. This book has all of the above plus more! If you read all of the words (in order) they make mind-pictures that make sense! Woah! This is a magic book, a book given to us from...i don't know. Some guy I guess.