Erotomania is the mental disorder of obsessive stalkers--the delusional belief that their victims are actually in love with them. Unfolding like a psychological thriller, this unique account by a psychiatrist who became the victim of her own patient provides a thorough examination of this often misunderstood disease.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
Orion's excellent book reads like a white-knuckle thriller. We pick up a fair amount of information about erotomania and learn about how recent legislation has begun to change in the wake of several celebrity stalkings and murders. But it's Orion's honest and eloquent account of her own feelings of terror, frustation and helplessness that make this book extraordinary. She proves that an average person, any of us, could have our lives destroyed by an unlucky encounter with an erotomaniac and that there's still little that can be done legally or medically to help. -- Rocky Mountain News, Aug. 31, 1997
From the Inside Flap
Erotomania is the most bizarre disorder of obsessive stalkers - the delusional belief that their victims are actually in love with them. I Know You Really Love Me unfolds like a psychological thriller, as Orion finds herself engulfed in Fran's erotomanic fantasy and unsuccessfully tries to free herself of her patient, pseudonym Fran. This demanding, calculating woman doggedly follows Orion state-to-state, and continues to stalk her to this day - eight years and counting.
In this painfully honest account you will follow the victim as she struggles to regain control over both her personal and professional lives. In the process, she educates herself about this little-understood mental disorder and meets other victims, including: case histories of stalking victims, from David Letterman and Madonna to a woman rabbi, an Olympic athlete, and scores of others; unbelievable true stories of the depths to which the wily stalker will go - such as "The Tunneler," who dug his way beneath an apartment building to get at his victim; cases that led to murder, of either the victim or the stalker.
In a final section the author discusses the need for adequate treatment and punishment of erotomanics, and points out problems in existing anti-stalking laws and ways to strengthen them. A guide to organizations that assist victims, plus protective measures to deter a potential stalker or erotomanic, are provided as well.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A Must-Read for ALL young women. It can happen to anyone.,
By A Customer
This review is from: I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love (Hardcover)
This is the first real Pop-psych book that describes the Stalking Phenomenon in correct and accurate Mental Health language. This book was recommended to me by a City Prosecuter who felt it would help me understand why My Ex-boyfriend stalked me with the aid of his new wife (of all people!). Stalking is NOT just ex-boyfriends and Yes, women can become erotically obsessed with other women in a non-sexual manner OR, as in my case, they can be motivated to carry on an Erotomanic pursuit of a target whom their lover has been stalking which can resultin a whole new range of Stalking behavior. This particular book deals with a Patient stalking her Psychiatrist with whom she has become obsessed - a common subset of Erotomania. However, the book also attempts and manages to cover pretty well the basics of Erotomaniacally motivated Stalkings in general which makes it a valuable addition to anyone's Library. ANYONE can become a target and Young Women should read a book like this before they leave home or college to enter the workforce. Even that may not be soon enough since I know of a few cases where friends of mine have had their highschool and junior high aged daughters subjected to such behavior. Even so.. I feel it is fair to say this is an essential book for Young Women. Men of all ages should and can read this as well, but statisically, women are at a higher risk which is why I singled them out as a group.What really makes this book work is that the writer has been targetted herself which permits her to identify with her reader in a way that she could not if she were merely a Clinician attempting to describe this illness or a law enforcement official trying to describe how to deal with it via the Legal System. The sad facts are that your friends and family will usually NOT understand what you are going through and many people will wonder if perhaps you yourself have done something to set the erotomaniac off. Another sad fact is that going to the Law may cause an escalation in the Stalking and you may also be greeted with the preconceived notion again that the victim has done something to encourage the mentally ill Stalker. Since the author has lived with a longterm, dedicated Stalker, she is able to relate and describe the specific brand of terror you feel under the circumstances. If you have never, for example, lived peacefully and proserously for, oh, a year maybe 18 months only to look up one day and see your old Stalker smiling at you from across the street from your new home in a new town in a new State under an unlisted number without your name on the lease, you won't be able to speak to the audience for this book. Now that I have communicated her closeness to the subject let me say just this: The police generally don't understand Stalkers so if you are being Stalked, it is now YOUR job to learn to understand their behavior as best you can. This book and Gavin DeBecker's THE GIFT OF FEAR will give you a good start. Once you have these two under your belt, you will begin to see that there is no real effective system in place for dealing with Erotomania when it intrudes on your life in a criminal manner and therefore you must make some careful choices as to how to react or whether to react at all. In my own case, My longterm Stalker seeks attention to his and his wife's actions towards me. If I react by calling the police or filing reports of restraining order violations, they go into full steam ahead mode as opposed to when I choose not to react and they eventually get bored by my refusal to bat the tennis ball back into their court an they quiet down for a few months. I feel one of the best messages of this book is to give you, the reader, a Psychiatric portrait of this illness instead of the usual folk wisdom stuff we are fed by the daytime talk-shows, the local news and via hand-me down info from friends and family who have brushed up against Stalkings. This is a valuable book and tool in your own fight to arm yourself with info and preserve your own sanity by learning about that peculiar brand of metally ill person who has either already made you the most important thing in their life or might at some point in the future. Good luck. Be safe. Remember, you are your own best protector.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Information and Reads Like a Novel,
This review is from: I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love (Hardcover)
I Know You Really Love Me was recommended to me when I had some concerns about someone I was casually dating. I was immediately enthralled as the author's voice took over and I became caught up in her fear and confusion over what was happening to her. Filled with detailed information presented in an interesting way, it made sense to me as a layperson without "dumbing it down". I had a clearer understanding of the disease as well as a better perspective on the tales I hear in the media. And I was inspired in general by her perseverance and courage in fighting for her own and other victim's rights. Plus it was a darn good read!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Horrifying yet Relevant,
This review is from: I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love (Hardcover)
I read this book shortly after publication and was horrified. I thought only people in the media were exposed to stalkers but this book proves that's not true. Virtually anyone can be a victim of stalking.
The author covered the process of involving local law enforcement officials and the court system - all long and aruduous - and gives a clear picture at what price to achieve personal safety. Really everyone should read this book for an eye opening education.
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