Customer Reviews

I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is the first real Pop-psych book that describes the Stalking Phenomenon in correct and accurate Mental Health language. This book was recommended to me by a City Prosecuter who felt it would help me understand why My Ex-boyfriend stalked me with the aid of his new wife (of all people!). Stalking is NOT just ex-boyfriends and Yes, women can become erotically obsessed with other women in a non-sexual manner OR, as in my case, they can be motivated to carry on an Erotomanic pursuit of a target whom their lover has been stalking which can resultin a whole new range of Stalking behavior. This particular book deals with a Patient stalking her Psychiatrist with whom she has become obsessed - a common subset of Erotomania. However, the book also attempts and manages to cover pretty well the basics of Erotomaniacally motivated Stalkings in general which makes it a valuable addition to anyone's Library. ANYONE can become a target and Young Women should read a book like this before they leave home or college to enter the workforce. Even that may not be soon enough since I know of a few cases where friends of mine have had their highschool and junior high aged daughters subjected to such behavior. Even so.. I feel it is fair to say this is an essential book for Young Women. Men of all ages should and can read this as well, but statisically, women are at a higher risk which is why I singled them out as a group.

What really makes this book work is that the writer has been targetted herself which permits her to identify with her reader in a way that she could not if she were merely a Clinician attempting to describe this illness or a law enforcement official trying to describe how to deal with it via the Legal System. The sad facts are that your friends and family will usually NOT understand what you are going through and many people will wonder if perhaps you yourself have done something to set the erotomaniac off. Another sad fact is that going to the Law may cause an escalation in the Stalking and you may also be greeted with the preconceived notion again that the victim has done something to encourage the mentally ill Stalker. Since the author has lived with a longterm, dedicated Stalker, she is able to relate and describe the specific brand of terror you feel under the circumstances. If you have never, for example, lived peacefully and proserously for, oh, a year maybe 18 months only to look up one day and see your old Stalker smiling at you from across the street from your new home in a new town in a new State under an unlisted number without your name on the lease, you won't be able to speak to the audience for this book.

Now that I have communicated her closeness to the subject let me say just this: The police generally don't understand Stalkers so if you are being Stalked, it is now YOUR job to learn to understand their behavior as best you can. This book and Gavin DeBecker's THE GIFT OF FEAR will give you a good start. Once you have these two under your belt, you will begin to see that there is no real effective system in place for dealing with Erotomania when it intrudes on your life in a criminal manner and therefore you must make some careful choices as to how to react or whether to react at all. In my own case, My longterm Stalker seeks attention to his and his wife's actions towards me. If I react by calling the police or filing reports of restraining order violations, they go into full steam ahead mode as opposed to when I choose not to react and they eventually get bored by my refusal to bat the tennis ball back into their court an they quiet down for a few months. I feel one of the best messages of this book is to give you, the reader, a Psychiatric portrait of this illness instead of the usual folk wisdom stuff we are fed by the daytime talk-shows, the local news and via hand-me down info from friends and family who have brushed up against Stalkings. This is a valuable book and tool in your own fight to arm yourself with info and preserve your own sanity by learning about that peculiar brand of metally ill person who has either already made you the most important thing in their life or might at some point in the future. Good luck. Be safe. Remember, you are your own best protector.

I Know You Really Love Me was recommended to me when I had some concerns about someone I was casually dating. I was immediately enthralled as the author's voice took over and I became caught up in her fear and confusion over what was happening to her. Filled with detailed information presented in an interesting way, it made sense to me as a layperson without "dumbing it down". I had a clearer understanding of the disease as well as a better perspective on the tales I hear in the media. And I was inspired in general by her perseverance and courage in fighting for her own and other victim's rights. Plus it was a darn good read!

I read this book shortly after publication and was horrified. I thought only people in the media were exposed to stalkers but this book proves that's not true. Virtually anyone can be a victim of stalking.
The author covered the process of involving local law enforcement officials and the court system - all long and aruduous - and gives a clear picture at what price to achieve personal safety.
Really everyone should read this book for an eye opening education.

I applaude Dr. Orion's courage in writing this book. Her personal eight year experience with her stalker, police departments, and the court system has brought forth a book that is both informative and enjoyable to read. I only wish that I had this information 2 years ago. I hope that "I Know You Really Love Me" will be the stepping stone in increasing the awareness of how prevalent stalking is for the average human. I am very proud of you for writing this book.

As a male Sophomore in college reading this book I was thoroghly terrified! It is noted that this does not just happen to women, but to men as well. Many times after reading this book was I looking around my car before getting into it, just making sure Fran Nightingale wasn't lurking behind it! Genuinly frightening (moreso because its a true story) read for either gender!

I borrowed this book from a friend and loved it. Had to buy my own copy. There aren't many good books about Erotomania that aren't written in a very clinical sense. This book has a very personal feel to it (being written by someone with an erotomanic stalker.)
If erotomania is a subject that interests you, I also recommend "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" starring Audrey Tautou.

This is a remarkable book. We have all spent the last decade reading about stalking in the newspaper and watching TV news reports which give a tiny snapshot of this topic. Dr. Orion has given us the whole portrait, with meticulous brush-strokes that coney every nuance and subtlety of a problem that is anything but subtle. The book opens with a sentence that sets the stage beautifully: "I am a psychiatrist who has been having a long-term love affair with a former patient -- in her mind, that is." From there, Orion never loses compassion for the woman who has stalked her for years. She tells of her journey through fear, through the courts, through the actions and comments of her psychiatric peers, through police stations, law offices, frightening encounters at her home and office, and ultimately, to the place she has reached: the place of knowing of stalking from the inside out, as a mental-health expert, as a woman, and as a target. She moves from victim to victor, and the reader is taken along through wonderful writing that conjures the truth about stalking better than any news report or TV movie could ever hope to. Thus, we get the best gift: a learning experience we can enjoy along the way

My feelings about this book are mixed. It is a riveting read which covers the subject of stalking and the mental illness behind it, and does so in a thorough manner. However, the author fits the description of a jackboot Nazi. Ironic (?) given that she identifies herself as a Jew. Maybe she's a Zionist?

Anyway. The subject of this book at times is the stalker, a deeply mentally ill woman who is a lesbian, and who keeps falling in love with one woman at a time who does not requite her affection. The author Dr. Orion is one of those women. I could not help noticing right from the beginning of the book the sensible attitude of Dr. Orion's boyfriend, who advised the author to just ignore the stalker, who was not really all that annoying. All she did was send notes and occasionally show up at the hospitable where Dr. Orion worked (she was getting treatment there). The more I read the more I felt sorry for the "stalker".

Then I became alarmed as I read about Dr. Orion's hysterical push for ever more draconian laws to allow hysterical people such as herself to incarcerate people who fall in love.

Did you know that as of 1996 it is possible for you to be imprisoned (in Federal prison) for stalking because someone fears you? You read that correctly. You need never say or do anything threatening to someone. By continuing to send notes to someone as the stalker in this book does is enough to get a long Federal prison sentence if that person claims to be in fear of you!

Dr. Orion is an advocate of such laws.

Read this book and take note that the stalker in question never-which includes near two decades of "stalking behavior"-in her life committed any violence nor even threatened to commit violence. Yet Dr. Orion had her imprisoned and complains to the end of the book that this is not enough. Dr. Orion-a psychiatrist!-should have her license revoked. Her behavior is the equivalent of a heart doctor refusing to provide care to an ill patient because she does not like the person's appearance or personality.

Find another line of work Dr. Orion; perhaps overseeing the CIA's kidnap and torture program.

I bought and read this book when it first came out, and promptly returned it to the publisher for a refund. It was riddled with misspellings, poor syntax, and bad punctuation. If the physician-author wrote the book that way, shame on her. If the publisher hired someone to proofread and edit this book, they failed miserably: these were the errors I'd expect to see from a third-grader; not someone who purportedly has at least a four-year college degree.

If you're curious about this phenomenon, there are other, better-written books to be had.