Who can fix a broken heart? This crisis memoir explores questions we all ask when a loved one dies. It is the true story of one woman's struggle to survive the pain of being left behind when her 15-year-old daughter dies suddenly in a car accident. Although classified as a grief book, it is really about life and the decisions we are foced to make when our life plans are altered by tragedy. Intimate conversations between family members illustrate the differences in ways people grieve.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
March/April 1999 issue, INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER: Carol Kifer has written an outstanding book about grief. Unfortunately, it relates to the tragic accident that killed her fifteen-year-old daughter, Krista Lin Kifer...Krista left her parents, Darrell and Carol, and an eleven-year-old brother, Jeff...parents who have lost children in similar fashion might recognize elements of grief here as similar to their own. I believe Carol Kifer wants those intact families to realize what they have and to live for today together. Going through the details of the police/minister notification of accident fatality, funeral proceedings, grave construction and tombstone selection are grim enough. But the aftermath of grief, in Carol's case chronicled over a four year period, puts the reader through a spiritual and emotional hell he or she could never understand unless suffering such a loss. In autobiographies, death is frequently described, and loss as well, but never in total detail as a ! ! complete book. This is why this text is so essential and unique. Keys are the loss of friends who cannot understand the depths of the parents' loss, or cannot tolerate one's change of personality (through grief). Especially essential is the rising up beyond depressiion to give hope to one's own existence...This is a well-written book that took tremendous courage to write...One must learn to accept Carol Kifer's challenge: love and appreciate your children today, and tell them you love them...life can be short rather than long, and if it is, you may not have 'tomorrow'...--by Andrew M. Mayer
Wed., March 3, 1999 issue of The Gazette, Cedar Rapids, Iowa: "A parent's worst nightmare. When Carol Kifer's daughter died in a 1994 automobile accident she knew she was eye to eye with a mother's worst fear. It is, she writes, the one thing she couldn't possible deal with. Krista, her 15-year-old daughter, is the subject of Carol's book, Left Behind: A Mother's Grief. Although the story deals with death and grief, the book is truly about life and love, and the search for peace and joy following a great loss. It is loss in general that Carol emphasizes since loss can come in many ways...Her finished product is a memoir, a manual, and a memorial. She says, "You pour so much love into caring for your child and since I could no longer help [Krista}, I had to help others." Carol describes how it feels to live out your worst nightmare. The shock. The denial. Going through the motions. Making plans. And continuing to live when you want to die...Through the book, it is clear that Ca! ! rol has learned a lot about herself, her family and life. By telling her story, she hopes to reach out to others. She guides the reader through such traumatic events as "the missing plate" at mealtimes, birthdays, the death day, insurance, funerals, dreams, holidays and words and events that trigger memories...Contrary to popular belief, time doesn't heal all things...Carol says she believes that interaction and reaching out to people is the healing catalyst, not time...Isolation, says Carol, is the worst part. "You feel like you're not like anyone else. It's comforting to talk to someone in a similar situation. You share a common grief. You're kindred spirits." Interaction with people when you want to isolate yourself is what starts the healing process. Today, the healing process continues as Carol learns to search for joy...--by Melissa Haberichter
December 1998 issue, Telegraph Herald, Dubuque, IA: Losing her 15-year-old daughter in a horrific car accident nearly destroyed Carol Kifer, but the Monona, Iowa, woman channeled her emotions and pain into a book she hopes will help other families who have lost a child. Left Behind: A Mother's Grief is Kifer's journey through the confusion she felt after her daughter's death, the overwhelming feelings of sadness and the agonizing impact death had on her family... Despite its tragic focus, the book includes the message that life is precious, and those who have suffered a loss can find happiness again..."You can hurt so bad that you want to die, but you can go on and even find joy again, she said, "We don't get over a devastating loss, but we learn to live with it"... --by Susan B. Gwiasda -- Publisher Comments
From the Back Cover
A car...A train...A tragic accident. No more goodnight hugs. Krista is dead at fifteen. A parent's nightmare has become reality. When your child dies, there are no easy answers, only difficult questions. Will it always hurt this much? How can I go on living when my child is dead? Am I going "mad?" In the small towns of America, we all have a connection. We hope we will never be the bereaved parents. But sooner or later the grieving Mom or Dad will be someone we know. The author invites us to share her journey from death's suffocating grip to the rediscovery of life's joys. A true story of precious memories, necessary tears, and people who make a difference when tragedy strikes. Experience the love, the pain, the hope. Cherish the stories. And please, give a child you love an extra hug tonight.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
an excellent book about the feelings of grief,
This review is from: LEFT BEHIND: A Mother's Grief (Paperback)
This is such a well-written, poignant memoir revealing the throes of a mother's grief after the death of her young daughter, a passenger in an auto accident.It's "only" been three months after my own young son was killed in an auto accident. Thus far, I can relate to every deeply expressed word written in "Left Behind" regarding the fresh pain and adjustments necessary to the new life and world one finds themselves in. The author bares her pain, reflections and ways she has coped with her new journey through life. Although I'm a long way from the place I long to be--referred to in the author's ending paragraph of the book: "Life is good. It's not everything I hoped or planned, but it still has its moments. I am at peace with myself, with God, with reality," this book gives hope that such a place exists. And for a survivor of a grief of this magnitude, hope is everything. Thank you, Ms. Kifer, for sharing your story.
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