9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simple, practical and brilliant, January 29, 2008
This review is from: The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery (Paperback)
I was truly impressed by the simplicity of the message. It is concise and straightforward, easy to read, and has the beauty that comes with speaking the truth in a simple, meaningful way.
It sums up in a nutshell, much of the emotional detective work that is at the heart of hynoanalysis. It looks at the causes of negative feelings, frustration and depression. It brings this whole chain of meaning into simple, clear focus. It discusses primary feelings, such as anger, fear, guilt, etc., and then moves on to secondary feelings - frustration. Ultimately, the tertiary effect of these is depression, the emotional defense that gets us to back off and stop beating our head against the wall.
But the best thing about it was the focus it brought to my own life.
Each of us has issues to deal with, pressures at work, home, etc. They are the things in life over which we have no control, but which bring up negative emotions within us. In alot of ways, this helped me bring the dynamics of feelings about these into focus.
Cal has a number of exercises in his book, called the 1-2-3 process:
1) Identify (and name) the feeling behind the emotion
2) Identify the primary cause
3) Find a way to deal with the primary casue
In alot of ways, these steps may not be as simple as they might sound, but they make a great framework for awareness and healing.
He has exercises for the whole spectrum of at-issue feelings, as described above. But the bottom line is that feelings - even negative ones - are good. We can learn from them. They are a signal that something in our lives needs to change.
Ultimately, I found this to be both a great primer for use with my own hypnotherapy clients clients, and a guide to dealing with various BS'ish things that crop up in daily life. In short, The Secret Language of Feelings is a simple, beautiful study of the dynamics behind our emotions, something that anyone can use both at an intellectual level, and in their own self-healing work.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Decode the secrets of your feelings!, March 3, 2006
This review is from: The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery (Paperback)
Calvin Banyan has a knack for explaining complex concepts simply, so anyone can understand them. He revolutionized the hypnotherapy profession by developing processes that work efficiently and consistently.
Now in this book, he opens the lid on all those feelings that we thought were bad. He explains why we feel the things we do, how to understand and interpret those feelings we prefer not to experience (feelings are often in disguise!), and then provides steps to deal with them, eliminating their negative effect. You could change your life!
I am so impressed by this book and by Calvin Banyan's other work, that it has heavily influenced my work, philosophy of life, and my own book on achieving genuine happiness.
Highly recommended!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Intuitive common sense, worthwhile tools, Simple to understand and get to grips with., April 21, 2007
This review is from: The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery (Paperback)
Firstly this is a concise book, not overburdened with theories and yes does market a little bit Banyon's system of self-hypnosis.
However, it warranting my reading it again as the concepts make a lot of sense and I feel are the reason that during a recent difficult time I was simply able to stay level and solid. Understanding the primary emotions and what they are there to tell you is of incredible value. He's not promising quick fixes either, or any way to smother them up. Instead, you are taught to listen to yourself on the level of feelings.
What is the feeling, what is the unfulfilled need and how to meet it is the general thrust. It's an interesting model, I've found its working for me. Strangely enough, if you study Albert Ellis's concepts (REBT-anything recent) you end up with a skillset that allows the use of the intellect and reason to work on feelings, yet you do not deny feelings. You engage them fully.
With REBT skills you dispute and question irrational beliefs that can cause you to go into extremes of emotion, with Banyon's model you can answer the needs that primary emotions are telling you about. The combination of the two actually gives me a way to realise which is true need and which are unreasoned and irrational. This distinction is of immense value and give you the time to respond in the best way you know how.
Thank you to the author, he has done a great job.
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