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The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery Paperback – December 6, 2002

41 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


...reconnects you with your emotions, and also with your body, promoting optimal health and well-being... he shows you how. -- Eric B. Robins, MD, Co-author, "Your Hands Can Heal You"

This is one of those rare books that can be a benefit to almost anyone. Excellent... A new perspective... -- Samadhi Ishaya Wright, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist, Hypnotherapist & Educator

About the Author

Calvin D. Banyan, MA, is a psychotherapist and family therapist as well as being a Board Certified Hypnotherapist and an award-winning Certified Instructor for the National Guild of Hypnotists. He is also the CEO and supervising Hypnotherapist at the Banyan Hypnosis Center for Training & Services, Inc. in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota.

He is an acclaimed speaker who has appeared on radio and television and a featured writer for the National Guild of Hypnotists, Journal of Hypnotism.

Calvin D. Banyan is the co-author of the modern classic, Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy: Basic to Advanced Techniques for the Professional.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 196 pages
  • Publisher: Banyan Hypnosis Center (December 6, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0971229058
  • ISBN-13: 978-0971229051
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #636,785 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

One of the most sought after and qualified hypnotherapy instructors with a background that ensures quality for those who want to train with one of the best in the field of hypnosis and hypnotherapy.

He publishes a new free hypnosis training video each and every week on

BS & MA in Psychology from University of North Dakota
Full time professional since 1996
Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists* since 1996
NGH Certified Instructor since 1999
Writer for the NGH Journal of Hypnotism since 2000
Published, Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy (book, 2001)
NGH Board Certified since 2001
NGH Certified Instructor of the Year 2002
NGH Certified Instructor of the Year 2003
NGH Educator of the Year 2003
Fellow of the National Guild of Hypnotists 2004
NGH Counsel of the Order Braid Council 2005
NGH Charles Tebbetts Award 2005
Cover & Interview, NGH Journal of Hypnotism, June 2005
Member of the NGH Advisory Board since 2006
Member of the NGH Ethics Board since 2007
NGH President's Award, 2008
Hypnotism Media Award of the Year 2010
Diplomate of the National Guild of Hypnotism 2010
NGH Rexford L. North Award 2012

Calvin (Cal) Banyan has taught hypnosis professionals from around the world and maintains an active hypnosis center in Tustin, California. His school of hypnotherapy is registered with the State of California.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Craig Lang on January 29, 2008
Format: Paperback
I was truly impressed by the simplicity of the message. It is concise and straightforward, easy to read, and has the beauty that comes with speaking the truth in a simple, meaningful way.

It sums up in a nutshell, much of the emotional detective work that is at the heart of hynoanalysis. It looks at the causes of negative feelings, frustration and depression. It brings this whole chain of meaning into simple, clear focus. It discusses primary feelings, such as anger, fear, guilt, etc., and then moves on to secondary feelings - frustration. Ultimately, the tertiary effect of these is depression, the emotional defense that gets us to back off and stop beating our head against the wall.

But the best thing about it was the focus it brought to my own life.
Each of us has issues to deal with, pressures at work, home, etc. They are the things in life over which we have no control, but which bring up negative emotions within us. In alot of ways, this helped me bring the dynamics of feelings about these into focus.

Cal has a number of exercises in his book, called the 1-2-3 process:
1) Identify (and name) the feeling behind the emotion
2) Identify the primary cause
3) Find a way to deal with the primary casue

In alot of ways, these steps may not be as simple as they might sound, but they make a great framework for awareness and healing.

He has exercises for the whole spectrum of at-issue feelings, as described above. But the bottom line is that feelings - even negative ones - are good. We can learn from them. They are a signal that something in our lives needs to change.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By David Ambrose on March 3, 2006
Format: Paperback
Calvin Banyan has a knack for explaining complex concepts simply, so anyone can understand them. He revolutionized the hypnotherapy profession by developing processes that work efficiently and consistently.

Now in this book, he opens the lid on all those feelings that we thought were bad. He explains why we feel the things we do, how to understand and interpret those feelings we prefer not to experience (feelings are often in disguise!), and then provides steps to deal with them, eliminating their negative effect. You could change your life!

I am so impressed by this book and by Calvin Banyan's other work, that it has heavily influenced my work, philosophy of life, and my own book on achieving genuine happiness.

Highly recommended!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Maria Regina Paiz on July 5, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
In very simple --sometimes overly plain and even paternalistic-- language, Calvin Banyan explains the nature of feelings and how they are based on emotions. Emotions are the body's natural alert system for us to take action when a primary need (boredom, anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness, inadequacy, stress, or fear) is not being met. If we don't satisfy that need, the feelings become painful, so we tend to distract ourselves with actions that we associate with pleasure, such as eating, or drugs, or other evasion mechanisms that may become compulsions. Additionally, unmet needs from the past are reactivated over and over again when current situations resonate with them, impelling us towards calming ourselves through those same distraction mechanisms. The point is, if we manage to identify the feelings that drive us towards harmful actions, we can understand our needs from a different perspective and address them with a healthier option.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Richard Griffiths on April 21, 2007
Format: Paperback
Firstly this is a concise book, not overburdened with theories and yes does market a little bit Banyon's system of self-hypnosis.

However, it warranting my reading it again as the concepts make a lot of sense and I feel are the reason that during a recent difficult time I was simply able to stay level and solid. Understanding the primary emotions and what they are there to tell you is of incredible value. He's not promising quick fixes either, or any way to smother them up. Instead, you are taught to listen to yourself on the level of feelings.

What is the feeling, what is the unfulfilled need and how to meet it is the general thrust. It's an interesting model, I've found its working for me. Strangely enough, if you study Albert Ellis's concepts (REBT-anything recent) you end up with a skillset that allows the use of the intellect and reason to work on feelings, yet you do not deny feelings. You engage them fully.

With REBT skills you dispute and question irrational beliefs that can cause you to go into extremes of emotion, with Banyon's model you can answer the needs that primary emotions are telling you about. The combination of the two actually gives me a way to realise which is true need and which are unreasoned and irrational. This distinction is of immense value and give you the time to respond in the best way you know how.

Thank you to the author, he has done a great job.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By B. Sawyer on January 2, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I bought this book to better understand why I had the feeling about things that I do and it did a pretty good job of that. I'll have to read through it again to brush up but I liked it. It also helped me understand people better and why they behaved the ways they do.
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