Customer Reviews

The Secret Language of Feelings A Rational Approach to Emotional Mastery

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I was truly impressed by the simplicity of the message. It is concise and straightforward, easy to read, and has the beauty that comes with speaking the truth in a simple, meaningful way.

It sums up in a nutshell, much of the emotional detective work that is at the heart of hynoanalysis. It looks at the causes of negative feelings, frustration and depression. It brings this whole chain of meaning into simple, clear focus. It discusses primary feelings, such as anger, fear, guilt, etc., and then moves on to secondary feelings - frustration. Ultimately, the tertiary effect of these is depression, the emotional defense that gets us to back off and stop beating our head against the wall.

But the best thing about it was the focus it brought to my own life.
Each of us has issues to deal with, pressures at work, home, etc. They are the things in life over which we have no control, but which bring up negative emotions within us. In alot of ways, this helped me bring the dynamics of feelings about these into focus.

Cal has a number of exercises in his book, called the 1-2-3 process:
1) Identify (and name) the feeling behind the emotion
2) Identify the primary cause
3) Find a way to deal with the primary casue

In alot of ways, these steps may not be as simple as they might sound, but they make a great framework for awareness and healing.

He has exercises for the whole spectrum of at-issue feelings, as described above. But the bottom line is that feelings - even negative ones - are good. We can learn from them. They are a signal that something in our lives needs to change.

Ultimately, I found this to be both a great primer for use with my own hypnotherapy clients clients, and a guide to dealing with various BS'ish things that crop up in daily life. In short, The Secret Language of Feelings is a simple, beautiful study of the dynamics behind our emotions, something that anyone can use both at an intellectual level, and in their own self-healing work.

Calvin Banyan has a knack for explaining complex concepts simply, so anyone can understand them. He revolutionized the hypnotherapy profession by developing processes that work efficiently and consistently.

Now in this book, he opens the lid on all those feelings that we thought were bad. He explains why we feel the things we do, how to understand and interpret those feelings we prefer not to experience (feelings are often in disguise!), and then provides steps to deal with them, eliminating their negative effect. You could change your life!

I am so impressed by this book and by Calvin Banyan's other work, that it has heavily influenced my work, philosophy of life, and my own book on achieving genuine happiness.

Highly recommended!

Firstly this is a concise book, not overburdened with theories and yes does market a little bit Banyon's system of self-hypnosis.

However, it warranting my reading it again as the concepts make a lot of sense and I feel are the reason that during a recent difficult time I was simply able to stay level and solid. Understanding the primary emotions and what they are there to tell you is of incredible value. He's not promising quick fixes either, or any way to smother them up. Instead, you are taught to listen to yourself on the level of feelings.

What is the feeling, what is the unfulfilled need and how to meet it is the general thrust. It's an interesting model, I've found its working for me. Strangely enough, if you study Albert Ellis's concepts (REBT-anything recent) you end up with a skillset that allows the use of the intellect and reason to work on feelings, yet you do not deny feelings. You engage them fully.

With REBT skills you dispute and question irrational beliefs that can cause you to go into extremes of emotion, with Banyon's model you can answer the needs that primary emotions are telling you about. The combination of the two actually gives me a way to realise which is true need and which are unreasoned and irrational. This distinction is of immense value and give you the time to respond in the best way you know how.

Thank you to the author, he has done a great job.

I bought this book to better understand why I had the feeling about things that I do and it did a pretty good job of that. I'll have to read through it again to brush up but I liked it. It also helped me understand people better and why they behaved the ways they do.

I struggled my whole life with what I felt, especially when it was uncomfortable. I even mastered the art of numbing my feelings until grace brought me to Calvin Banyan door.
Calvin is my first teacher in the world of hypnosis and hypnotherapy. I did went to him to learn how to become a hypnotherapist but he taught me so much more and most importantly he is the first human being ever who taught me about my feelings.
In this book he poured his heart and shared his knowledge and wisdom in an area where very little is taught or ever known. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking growth and change in their lives and to everyone else as a matter of a fact. What I learned from Calvin's The Secret Language I am still digesting and it has been 2 years now. I heavily use it in my practice to help my clients achieve much needed changes in their lives and I use it on daily basis for my own (now when I get uncomfortable I automatically stop everything and ask myself "What am I feeling?) and it has served and still serves me well. I no longer pretend or deny myself the right to be. I am grateful to the author for ever and thereafter.

I'm not one for self-help books, but this one's different. For one thing, it's simple. Simple to read, to understand and to apply. In fact, one of the first thoughts was quite simply: why didn't anyone tell me about this before? It seems so obvious now, having read it, how we've all always reacted to our feelings, not even realising why they were there in the first place, and what they were really telling us, in the second. Well, here is a simple (that word again!) 1, 2, 3 method to understand and work with your feelings. It has changed my life, and it's been changing the lives of all I recommend it to. It will likely change yours too!

This book is superb. It presents the essence and purpose of emotions/feelings in a simple and elogant fashion. It is an excellent companion book to Andreas' Core Transformations. It is a very useful guidebook for a counselor, someone interested in self-help on emotions/feelings, and those interested in better understanding the role of emotions/feelings in our lives.

The trainings on hypnosis and hypnotherapy the author has at his career school (Hypnosis Center) in Mounds Grove, Minnesota, is one way to incorporate the secret language of feelings into the hypnotherapy modality. I highly recommend this book and the training.
Troy Bruns, MA, LPC, CH, CADC III

I remember reading about how to deal with emotions almost 12 years ago when I bought the book "The Emotional Hostage" by Leslie Cameron. It was so full of jargon and sophisticated in its steps that I was totally lost when I reached chapter 4, I could never figure out how to do all the steps to releash the unwanted emotions. A lapse of seven years ensued until I came across the works of Lester Levinson and his 'Release Technique'. Again it was so full of technical jargon and with so many levels of emotional categorization that by the time I started to use the "Can I let it go" questions, I was almost zoomed through the floor. Thank God this book "The Secret Language of Feelings" came when I needed it most. The explanations were clear with illustrations on the cycle of trapped emotions. And the book came with clear and simple ways of helping me clear out the unwanted emotions. I like the way the author called it 1-2-3 Steps, It is exactly as easy as 1-2-3. Often times, even without going through the full 3 steps, just knowing and naming the emergent emotion(s) will help me immediately detach myself my the limiting feeling, I would say a great tool for all of us living in the fast and stressful working environment. I recommend it whole-heartedly. Enjoy the book and take care!

Feelings and the attending emotions, they are the begining of many illnesses. You can now understand what they mean and how to overcome or nutralize the trouble caused by them.

A shocking statement: "All feelings are GOOD"

With that as a fact, all feelings can be understood and dealt with. Without hours of talk therapy ruminating on these feelings.

A great book! This is a book that half way through you will want to buy copies for your friends. Anyone will appreciate and understand this book from your Doctor to your mechanic.
Banyan, from Hypnosiscenter.com, has broken down the human mind into a very understandable logical system. He explains that wants, needs & desires not met cause negative feelings. Negative feelings are the engine for negative distractors.(eating, smoking,etc.) Distractors are only good for a short time and then - back to the negative feeling. Unsatisfied this leads to frustration, and finally depression. Doctors treat the depression, but Banyan says NO - wrong! You will learn how to get life back to it's peaceful, beautiful, original state with his easy 1-2-3 method.
This is a book for every mother and father to read and teach their children - the world would be a different place. Masterful!

His system of self-hypnosis called 7th path, which is a mind- body-spirit approach, is where I'm going next. After reading this book I can just imagine!