The Language of Tears [Hardcover]

Jeffrey A. Kottler (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0787902659 | ISBN-13: 978-0787902650 | Publication Date: August 23, 1996 | Edition: 1st

No word or action speaks louder than a single tear. Tears of grief, sadness, despondency, hopelessness, relief, exhilaration, pride and ecstacy reflect an amazing range of emotional responses. Why are tears such a mysterious form of communication? Best-selling author and psychologist Jeffrey A. Kottler unravels the mystery as he offers surprising answers to such questions as: Why do we cry? How do men's and women's tears differ? How are tears interpreted in different cultures? When is crying therapeutic and when does it become self-destructive?

Kottler's searching questions explore the passion of the human experience as he delves into the paradoxical nature of tears as physical mirrors of both our pain and our rapture. Wise, informative, and moving, The Language of Tears challenges many of our conventional attitudes toward tears and shows how valuable crying can be as an opportunity for communication, intimacy, change, and enlightenment.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Presents a comprehensive, lucid, and illuminating anatomy of this amazing metaphor for human feeling." —Frederic A. Brussat, Cultural Information Service, Values & Visions Review Service

"Kottler, a psychologist and educator who has seen more than the average number of tears, has observed that they can be much more meaningful than words. He handles this unusual topic with clear-headed vision." —NAPRA ReView

From the Inside Flap

No words, no actions speak louder than a single tear. Our emotional responses are mirrored in our tears of grief, sadness, despondency, hopelessness, relief, exhilaration, pride, and ecstasy.Why do tears remain such a mysterious form of communication?In this intriguing study, best-selling author and psychologist Jeffrey A. Kottler unravels the mystery of tears and offers insightful and often surprising answers to such questions as: Why do we cry? How do men and women's tears differ? How are tears interpreted in different cultures? When is crying therapeutic and when does it become self-destructive?Kottler's searching questions explore the passion found in the human experience as he delves into the paradoxical nature of tears--that can express excruciating pain as well as exquisite rapture. In addition to the book's obvious emotional appeal it is filled with valuable information such as the evolutionary purposes of tears, the importance of crying for infants and small children, and scientific studies of the neuropsychology and biology of tears.Wise, informative, and moving, The Language of Tears challenges many of our conventional attitudes toward tears and shows how valuable they can be as an opportunity for communication, intimacy, change, and enlightenment.[Paragraph to position the book as a gift item]The cover of The Language of Tears is fashioned from handmade paper embossed with delicate flower petals. Every copy of The Language of Tears, is an individual work of art that makes an ideal gift.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 242 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1st edition (August 23, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787902659
• ISBN-13: 978-0787902650
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,144,538 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jeffrey A. Kottler has authored over 65 books in the field for counselors, therapists, teachers, and the public, including COMPASSIONATE THERAPY: WORKING WITH DIFFICULT CLIENTS; ON BEING A THERAPIST; COUNSELORS FINDING THEIR WAY; MAKING CHANGES LAST; COUNSELING SKILLS FOR TEACHERS; DIVINE MADNESS: TEN STORIES OF CREATIVE STRUGGLE; BAD THERAPY: MASTER THERAPISTS SHARE THEIR WORST FAILURES; THE CLIENT WHO CHANGED ME: STORIES OF THERAPIST PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION; and THE MUMMY AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE: EMINENT THERAPISTS REVEAL THEIR MOST UNUSUAL CASES AND WHAT THEY TEACH US ABOUT HUMAN BEHAVIOR.

Jeffrey has worked as a teacher, counselor, and therapist in a preschool, middle school, mental health center, crisis center, university, community college, and private practice. He has served as a Fulbright Scholar and Senior Lecturer in Peru and Iceland, teaching counseling theory and practice. He has also served as a visiting professor in New Zealand, Australia, Hong Kong, and Nepal. He is currently Professor and Chair of the Counseling Department at California State University, Fullerton.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting!, October 26, 2005

By 

Denise Escamilla Ortiz "catslord" (Mexico City, Mexico) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Language of Tears (Hardcover)

It gives you a new perspective about crying. About all the different types of tears there are, of when and why we cry. The emotions that crying evoque. How we view tears and what we make out of them depending on the circumstances. But most important, it gives you a good idea of how to "read" tears, therefore you learn the language of tears.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Partially Promising, July 14, 2008

By 

G. Charles Steiner - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Language of Tears (Paperback)

There are 10 total chapters to this book, but only one chapter that has any potential at all to "change your life" as the author promises will happen to you once you finish his book or, at least, his introduction.

That one chapter is Chapter 8, "Crying and Personal Transformation." In it the author advises the reader to stay with the feelings that evoked the tears, to make new connections to them, and to deepen the effects of what you lived through.

All the other chapters are fact-driven bits of trivia, written like an almanac or database on the subject of tears, none of which are engaging for any length of time, let alone helpful to the promise of changing your life. Most pervasive were the author's observations on fake tears and on tears for the purpose of manipulating others.

To get to the really deep meaning of tears, you need only read Chapter 8.

4 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars intriguing subject matter., May 16, 2000

By 

Jeanne Lightly - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Language of Tears (Hardcover)

In this intriguing study, bestselling author Jeffrey Kottler provides insightful and surprising answers to questions such as: Why do we cry? How are tears interpreted in different cultures? When is crying therapeutic and when does it become self-destructive? This text challenges conventional attitudes toward tears and shows how valuable they can be.