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The Last Final Girl [Kindle Edition]

Stephen Graham Jones
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $11.95
Kindle Price: $4.95
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Book Description

"The Last Final Girl is like Quentin Tarantino's take on The Cabin in the Woods. Bloody, absurd, and smart. Plus, there's a killer in a Michael Jackson mask." - Carlton Mellick III, author of Apeshit

Life in a slasher film is easy. You just have to know when to die.

Aerial View: A suburban town in Texas. Everyone's got an automatic garage door opener. All the kids jump off a perilous cliff into a shallow river as a rite of passage. The sheriff is a local celebrity. You know this town. You're from this town.

Zoom In: Homecoming princess, Lindsay. She's just barely escaped death at the hands of a brutal, sadistic murderer in a Michael Jackson mask. Up on the cliff, she was rescued by a horse and bravely defeated the killer, alone, bra-less. Her story is already a legend. She's this town's heroic final girl, their virgin angel.

Monster Vision: Halloween masks floating down that same river the kids jump into. But just as one slaughter is not enough for Billie Jean, our masked killer, one victory is not enough for Lindsay. Her high school is full of final girls, and she's not the only one who knows the rules of the game.

When Lindsay chooses a host of virgins, misfits, and former final girls to replace the slaughtered members of her original homecoming court, it's not just a fight for survival-it's a fight to become The Last Final Girl.

Product Details

  • File Size: 498 KB
  • Print Length: 216 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Lazy Fascist Press (December 22, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #80,403 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A gonzo slasher flick in text form February 15, 2013
Told at the full-tilt pace of a teen slasher pic, The Last Final Girl by Stephen Graham Jones effectively conveys the author's love and respect for the form. Divided up into very short bites, like a movie is divided into shots of a few seconds each, the story proceeds at a rapid clip, with none of the typical novel's digressions or introspection. It's something like 90% dialog, interspersed with tags almost like shorthand, describing character actions.

The slasher is probably one of the most straight-forward, accessible kinds of movies, but this book is told in an experimental style. Others have likened the format to a screenplay, but it's actually more like an overseeing narrator describing the on-screen action of a film as it happens. It's a verbal play-by-play, describing shots, character movements, what the camera (and audience) sees and notices. The narrator is well-versed in the actors, directors, references, inside jokes and tropes of slasher films.

This results in a fun, cheeky stream-of-consciousness running description, complete with winking asides from the characters and sometimes also the invisible narrator letting the reader in on any references they might've missed. Though the story takes place in the present day, these high school kids are very familiar with cultural touchstones of the 80s (the golden age of the slasher film, as well as the coming-of-age era of the author) so that lines from popular movies and other culture from my own high school years pop up all through the story.

In a sense this is less about literature, in the sense of inward reflection, and more about the kinetic energy of film told in written form. It's clever, full of attitude, crafted by a person who clearly loves, values and understands slasher films as a genre.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Both Novel and Screenplay, Attached At The Knife July 24, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This review is apt to be a bit bias, as this is what usually happens when readers becomes delusional enough to think a novel was written specifically for them. That's the case here though, as Mr. Jones has crafted a book so far up inside the head of a horror movie fan that its likely to read like Morse Code to a civilian. Their confusion is their loss though because something very unique is happening with this narrative, something that will likely be misinterpreted as an attempt to half-novelize a screenplay. But it only resembles a screenplay at first glance, mostly because of the clever arrows and whiplash descriptions of the next "shot." But the difference here is all the difference - what is usually lost in a screenplay format (and in a film), particularly the moves only a novel can make up, down, and all around the action (and up in everyone's heads, of course), can now be relished instead of distilled, making this not quite screenplay, not quite novel, but a new hybrid machine hand-tooled for maximum enjoyment by a specific audience. The premise, a gathering of familiar names, "Jamie (Lee Curtis)," "Ripley," "Crystal (B)lake," etc., all of them "last final girls" who should have earned the right to finally relax after surviving their respective horror movies, now in danger of being picked off by a nut in a Whacko Jacko mask, is just as fun as Jones' previous Zombie Bake-Off (also put out by Lazy Fascist), and just as smart and subversive as that book. Things get twistier, and in spite of the positively Aztec levels of bloody sacrifice, what Jones would never dream of sacrificing are the expectations of any good horror show. The author is so confident in his knowledge of horror tropes that he never subverts those expectations when it comes time to satisfy them. Read more ›
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Smart Slasher September 22, 2012
In this, the smartest slasher ever written, Stephen Graham Jones does what every self-conscious slasher flick so far created has failed to do: be intelligent and entertaining at the same time. Jones knows this genre better than anyone, it seems and he is going to tell you why slashers are the most important thing that humans do. And it will have nothing to do with pleasing ancient gods, thank goodness.

Written with urgency, intelligence, intensity and almost movie-script like brevity, Last Final Girl whizzes past and is over far too soon. Which may be my only complaint. Not that there's a shortage of meat in the meantime. Bare breasts, collapsed skulls, pig fetuses, old farm machinery, multiple villain situations, decapitation, creepy out-of-towner's and an abundance of high school snark made me pause every three or four pages just to laugh, bask in the overwhelming violence, or check that all of my doors were locked.

Though I'm a big fan of his writing, this may be the first Stephen Graham Jones book that I recommend to every single person I know regardless of age, personality, or reading habits.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great for fans of the genre July 15, 2013
By Raf
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The story starts with a final girl and her horse Wildfire facing off with a serial killer wearing a Michael Jackson mask. There's also a longsword. Then speeding forward, we find out there are more girls in this high school looking to become the next final girl and there's quite a bit of envy involved with that.

This book is quite meta, using the final girl trope to build a story on. It's quite fun too. The dialogues are great.
The experimental style, which feels like a movie script meeting literature, made me visualize more of this story than I normally do. At times it slowed my reading down some, when the POV changed in an unexpected way and I had to reorient myself in the scene.

Reading this teen slasher felt like it had been written by the genre itself. There are a ton of references to horror movies and characters. This book is smart. It gives a clever insight in what the genre is about while maintaining a fun story throughout.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Taut, Visceral, Knowing Horror
An excellent novel that plays with all of the conventions of slasher films to great effect. It takes the thoroughgoing irony of meta-horror movies like SCREAM and THE CABIN IN THE... Read more
Published 5 days ago by J. T. Glover
3.0 out of 5 stars Genre-savvy, trope-heavy, cheap fun
For anyone who watched waaaaay too many slasher flicks in the 80s and 80s, this book is a cyclopedic homage to every movie Jamie Lee Curtis ever starred in, every Jason, Michael,... Read more
Published 6 months ago by David
2.0 out of 5 stars Desperately wants you to see how clever and stylish it is
I should have liked this, but the author made it unbearable to enjoy.

The first stumbling block is the text's presented. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Jonathan
2.0 out of 5 stars A Horror Story for the B-Moive Lover
I was practically glomping all over the starting pages. It's so genre-savvy, it hurts. The basic premise is "What happens to Alice after Friday the 13th? Read more
Published 13 months ago by Eric Juneau
5.0 out of 5 stars Needs an annotated version
Wow. I thought I had some horror chops. Not anymore.

Read The Last Final Girl and be humbled.

Damon good stuff
Published 22 months ago by JET
4.0 out of 5 stars Slasher fans will love it
The book reads like a slasher movie. It's campy, self-aware and gloriously ambitious. I haven't read anything else by Stephen Graham Jones, but if this is up to his standard, then... Read more
Published on March 20, 2013 by R. A. Harris
2.0 out of 5 stars Skip this one if you don't like reading screenplays
I was looking forward to this book but I was left utterly down by it. The premise itself is great. Story starts right in the last moments of the slasher finale where the last girl... Read more
Published on February 4, 2013 by xMort
4.0 out of 5 stars Slashtastic and unique
Very good meta-romp of a novel disguised as a slasher film, chock full of nods to classic horror slashers, and some inventive verbs that movie fans will appreciate (like: the... Read more
Published on January 25, 2013 by Steve Lowe
4.0 out of 5 stars Had the potential to be great, but falls just short
I've read this book now three times and, to be honest, have grown to appreciate it more each time, but it still manages to fall short of being what it could have been, fantastic. Read more
Published on January 15, 2013 by I Might Be God
4.0 out of 5 stars A stylish, hilarious, gory thriller...
A meta-textual homage to the slasher flicks of the 80s with an encyclopedic understanding of the genre's tropes, Stephen Graham Jones's The Last Final Girl out-references such... Read more
Published on December 9, 2012 by Ross E. Lockhart
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More About the Author

Born and raised in Texas. In Boulder, Colorado now. Forty-three. Blackfeet. Into werewolves and slashers and zombies. Would wear pirate shirts a lot if I could find them. And probably carry some kind of sword. More over at or @SGJ72

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