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Last Night I Dreamed of Peace: The Diary of Dang Thuy Tram

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"Last night I dreamed that Peace was established," Dang Thuy Tram confided to her diary. "Oh, the dream of Peace and Independence has burned in the hearts of thirty million people for so long. For Peace and Independence, we have sacrificed everything. So many people have volunteered to sacrifice their whole lives for these two words: Independence and Liberty. I, too, have sacrificed my life for that grandiose fulfillment." Thuy never saw the fulfillment of her dream. She was only twenty-seven when on June 22, 1970 American soldiers put a bullet through her forehead.

Dang Thuy Tram (b. November 26, 1942) was a surgeon fresh out of medical school who headed a field hospital in the remote, mountain jungles of Vietnam. She operated without anesthesia, rebuilt her clinic every time it was bombed, tended to the peasants whose villages had been burned and bull-dozed, hid in her underground shelter, and suffered the atrocities of war -- kids stepping on land mines, helicopter gunships in the middle of the night, forests stained yellow by toxic defoliants, napalm bombs, amputees, and patients like Khanh, a twenty-year old victim of a phosphorous bomb whose charred body, burned to a crisp, still smoldered with smoke an hour after it was admitted to her clinic.

The sparse possessions found with Thuy's body included some medicines, a rice ledger, a Sony radio, and this diary. When the American soldier Fred Whitehurst found the diary during the mop-up, he violated military regulations, kept the diary, and took it home with him in 1972 after three tours of duty in Vietnam. In April 2005 he was able to deliver the diary to Thuy's eighty-one-year old mother and three sisters, who published it in Hanoi on July 18, 2005. In the following eighteen months Thuy's diary sold 430,000 copies -- in a country where two-thirds of the citizens were born after the war ended and where books rarely sell more than 5,000 copies.

Much like Clint Eastwood's film Letters from Iwo Jima, Thuy's diary tells the story of Vietnam from the perspective of our "enemy." She's a fervent patriot devoted to Vietnam's revolutionary resistance. She longs for acceptance with the Communist Party which suspects her admitted bourgeois background and attitudes (her father was a surgeon and her mother a university lecturer). She rages with hatred against the American invaders, those "imperialist killers, vicious dogs, bloodthirsty devils, and terrible, cruel people who want to use our blood to water their tree of gold." More importantly, Thuy's diary reveals the longings of a fellow human being who misses her mom and dad and aches with loneliness for her boyfriend. FitzGerald's introduction, numerous footnotes that explain historical details, and two dozen family photographs complement Thuy's deeply human dream of peace.

From the moment I saw the cover on this book, I was mesmerized by the rice patties in the foreground, the mountains in the background and the smiling young woman in the cone-shaped hat. The lush green landscape looked eerily familiar. So did the young woman.

"Last Night I dreamed of Peace" is the diary of Dang Thuy Tram, a 25-year-old North Vietnamese doctor who goes to South Vietnam during the war to serve in jungle clinics near Duc Pho. Her diary chronicles her life from 1968 to 1970, which was one of the bloodiest periods in the Vietnam War.

Thuy writes of her heart-wrenching days in the clinics where she is sometimes forced to operate on patients without anesthesia. To add to her despair, her clinics were often bombed and strafed by American aircraft and sometimes attacked and destroyed by ground forces. If American troops were seen approaching the clinic, Thuy, her staff and patients fled into the jungle or climbed up into the mountains. Sometimes, when there was no time to flee, they crawled into hidden underground tunnels where they anxiously waited as American soldiers searched the jungle above them.

I was captivated by Thuy's diary because I also saw the horrors of this war, but from the "other side." I was a U.S. Army supply sergeant for a light infantry company, also stationed in Duc Pho, at the same time as Thuy. It's quite possible that some of her patients were wounded by soldiers from my company.

As I read Thuy's diary, I was also struck by her sentiments, which were so similar my own. Enemies in war often share a common likeness, and this becomes evident in Thuy's diary. She longs for the comforts and safety of her home in North Vietnam. She misses her Mom and Dad, her siblings and her friends.

Despite these familiar emotions, Thuy's diary is not always easy reading. Her friendships with others on the medical staff, the soldiers and villagers are often referred to as Big Brother or Little Brother, or Big Sister and so forth, ranked according to the intimacy of their friendship and their position in Vietnamese society. Her boyfriend, whom she grew to love as a teenager in Hanoi and still longs for, is simply referred to as Mr. M.

In her daily writings, Thuy often struggles with her bourgeois past. She came from a family of educated intellectuals. Thuy's father was a surgeon and her mother a university lecturer. Thuy followed in her father's footsteps, becoming a doctor, and she volunteered to go to the South as soon as she finished medical school. Some thought she was too fragile for such arduous and dangerous work, but Thuy was determined to succeed.

This determination constantly emerges in her daily writings, but she continues to questions her bourgeois past and what influence it might have on her relationships with others. Many of Thuy's patients, and the villagers who sheltered her, were probably uneducated peasants.

Frances Fitzgerald, who covered the Vietnam War for the New Yorker, wrote an introduction to Thuy's diary. She describes Quang Nghai Province, where Duc Pho is located, as a guerrilla stronghold. The Saigon government had long since given up control of the province to the rebels when the Americans arrived in the 1960s. The American's began a campaign to pacify the area, but they had little success. As the fighting dragged on and casualties mounted, the tactics of war became much more brutal.

October 21, 1969
Thuy writes, "The situation is extremely tense. At Mo Duc, military vehicles plowed through the hamlets, The villagers fled. Many cadres perished, crushed in their shelters by the enemy vehicles."

Thuy often expresses her intense hatred toward the Americans. She asks, "What joy is there when the American bandits are trampling our nation and killing our countrymen?" As the war drags on, Thuy's despair also seems to grow in her diary. Still, she never gives up her dream of peace.

Meanwhile, the daily horrors of war for this young doctor. Many of her patients are sent back into battle shortly after she heals their wounds. She tells of one encounter with such a solder named Bon whom she treated for a shoulder wound. Thuy spots Bon marching with an AK-47 on his shoulder and he shouts, "Greetings doctor! My arm is as good as new!" Thuy is overjoyed to see Bon's recovery, but days later he is brought back to her clinic, this time his leg mauled by a mine. "He lies motionless and silent, without a single moan," she writes. Thuy amputates the leg in an attempt to save Bon, but he later dies.

Despite the often horrific scenes in her clinic, Thuy's writing lacks much description. She writes mostly in a matter-of-fact style. But then this is Thuy's diary and she probably did not intend for it be a novel.

Still, the reader cannot help but visualize the blood and the pain on the faces of her patients -- and the despair on Thuy's face as she tries to save them. Thuy's writing, at times, becomes graphic. She tells of a young man, severely burned by a phosphorous bomb, who is brought to her clinic. His charred body is still smoldering as she begins to examine him.

"Last Night I Dreamed of Peace" is a diary not only full of hope, but also filled with horrific realism. In her writings, Thuy also questions whether she will survive the war, and there is a sense of coming dread in her daily chronicles. Thuy writes her last entry in her diary on June 20, 1970.

Days later, Thuy was shot in the head by an American solder as she and a group of communist troops walked down a jungle path. Thuy abruptly became another statistic, a wasted life in a long and brutal war. She laid dead in the jungle, her conscious dream of peace vanquished, but her written dream of peace, her diary, survived.

It should be noted that had the two groups of enemy combatants been transposed that day, Thuy might have survived. Had Thuy and her troops been the ones hiding in the jungle, with the American soldiers approaching on the trail, the Americans would have died that day.

War is always a sadistic game of life or death, with a brutality that can never be fully understood by those who don't experience it.

Thuy's diary, however, moves the reader beyond the horrors of war. Thuy dares to dream of peace. In her diary, she sometimes paused at the end of a long day at the clinic and gazed across the lush, green Vietnam countryside. "Sunset on the rice fields always holds a certain poetic sway, regardless of the day's horrors," she wrote.

This is why I was mesmerized by Thuy's diary. As a young American soldier, I too would pause at the end of a long day and gaze across the rice fields toward the distant mountains. And like Thuy and so many others, I also dreamed of peace.

...to use Blasé Pascal's phrase, relating to his rhetorical question concerning his right to kill another man, just because he lived on that opposite bank. Dang Thuy Tram's diaries are an important addition to that small group of Vietnamese books concerning the American War which have appeared in English, and include Bao Ninh's "The Sorrow of War," and Duong Thu Huong's "Novel Without a Name."

Alain-Fournier was another great writer whose life was cut far too short by war during the very early months of World War I. Both he and Thuy died at the same age, 27. Alain-Fournier's literary reputation was established prior to his death, Thuy's has finally come, posthumously. The strength of her diary is the immediacy and authenticity of the comments. She was quite optimistic at the beginning, but with the mounting casualties in her unit, and the relentless bombardment from the Americans, she turns more pessimistic, and foreshadows her own death. For those portions I would have given her a 5-star rating, but the frequent interjection of that leaden communist rhetoric, and the vague treatment of the personnel struggles within her unit, and the party, I decided to give only a 4-star rating, preferring both of the books above. Also, there were the issues that were only briefly discussed, and were of essential interest - her medical work. There was never an adequate description of her clinic, and the availability of medical supplies. Malaria, and what the GI's called "jungle rot," (fungal infections) were unmentioned yet must have been a significant portion of her work. She mentions in passing the poison that was Agent Orange, but again gives no real description of the effect it had on her unit.

Tim O'Brien, probably the greatest American novelist to come out of this tragic war, was in the infamous Americal Division, in Quang Ngai province, the unit that Thuy repeatedly called "the American bandits." He might have actually have been on one of the patrols that she had to face. The Americal's bases were on the lowlands, near the coast, and the mountains loomed to the West, where Thuy lived, and were a constant source of fascination and beauty - the light was never quite the same on those mountains. One of O'Brien's novels, "Going After Cacciato" explored the fantasy of one soldier finally having had enough, and deciding to walk away from the war, through those mountains, all the way to Europe. I shared that fascination with those mountains, during the same time Thuy was in them, and even had the same fantasy about walking away from the war. I was in a tank unit that spent four months, in late '68, in the next province south, Binh Dinh. One of our jobs was the road "security" of Highway 1, and on several days, we would sit, overlooking the South China Sea, at the boundary between Quang Ngai and Binh Dinh province, only 2 to 5 miles from Thuy's clinic in the hills.

Thuy spoke many times of her desire for revenge against the invaders of her country. An honest and understandable emotion from those who suffered years of misery, and the loss of so many friends. This emotion was shared by her compatriots, and has now been dissipated as they welcome American tourists to their country. I would have loved to have discussed this transformation with her in a tea house in her beloved Hanoi.

Finally, how many more diaries like this are currently being produced in Iraq?

I love to read. I belong to a book club, and I learned about this book from one of my book club members. I liked this book because (1) it tells the story of the Vietnam War (my generation's war) from the perspective of someone who was Vietnamese, but well educated like me; (2) it reminds me that wartime diaries matter because they keep our memories honest; and (3) the first book I ever read that made an impact on me was The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane, when I was 9 years old, and this book made a similar impact. I find it fascinating that when this diary was recovered a US soldier violated protocol by refusing to destroy it; that the initiative to translate the diary to English was supported by his brother who had married a woman from Vietnam during that war; and that Dany Thuy Tram's mother was still alive when the book was published and a successful effort was made to find her. Once a war is fought, we cannot bring back the livelihood that predated it. However, we can learn about the cost of war by reading wartime diaries and this one is essential for understanding the Vietnam conflict, both from when France and when the USA were trying to assert their vision. It is also helpful in understanding the reasons why highly educated people are proud of their homeland. Dany Thuy Tram, born in 1942, gave up a prestigious post-MD research position in eye surgery to fight for her country, and gave freely of her medical skills on the battlefield. I am in awe of her sacrifice, even if it was partially motivated by a desire to impress an apparently indifferent lover. To have lived and lived well, is a joyous accomplishment, even and especially if it came under the throes of war.

This is a poignant and sad book. The perspective, the daily survival experience of a guerrilla force fighting a technologically sophisticated army, is unique in literature. This perspective obviously speaks to many similar experiences around the world (Chechyna, Iraq, Timor, South Sudan, etc.) --that reaches beyond the political labels that get attached to the various partisans.

Yes, the book is somewhat tendentious and overwritten but that is the charm of the honesty of her writing. After all, she was not writing for us, she was writing for herself about her lost love, the sexual tensions in medicine, the fear, the fatigue, the disappointments both political and medical. The reader should accept this voice as one might listen to any young person coming and talking about how confused this crazy destructive madness is. And yet, despite her voice--here is a barely trained doctor--operating without infrastructure, making medical judgments far beyond her experience and training. In this sense, she is older than most of us.

The following is a review of the unabridged audio edition of "Last Night I Dreamed of Peace" offered for download at Audible.com, an Amazon.com trusted partner.

"Last Night I dreamed of Peace" (translated by Andrew Pham)is the war time diary of Dang Thuy Tram, a young Vietnamese doctor in a battlefield hospital during the Vietnam War. Written between 1968 and 1970, her diary speaks of the horrors of war, her yearning for her high school sweetheart, and her struggle to prove her loyalty to her country. Above all though, Thuy's diary tells the story of hope under the most dire circumstances.

The book includes a useful introduction by Frances Fitzgerald.

The diary in and of itself is gripping and powerful, but the narration by Kim Mai Guest significantly adds to its power. Kim Mai Guest gives Thuy a voice, gives voice to Thuy's hopes, dreams, fears and disappointments. In many ways, the audio edition should be the preferred edition because Thuy's words lend themselves more to the spoken word than they do the written word.

There is no denying the book's power. There is also no denying that in the hands of a gifted director/screenwriter, "Last Night I Dreamed of Peace" could be an incredible motion picture.

I grew up in a town where nearly everyone joined the service. I was in the Navy during Vietnam. Three of my four brothers were also in the military. I remember all too well the lies that got us in, and the lies that kept us there. Now, this young Viet Cong doctor has fleshed out the story for me. It is a heart-rending, beautiful, look into the eyes of war.


The Tao Of Writing: Imagine. Create. Flow.

Last Night I Dreamed of Peace: The Diary of Dang Thuy Tram
Two years ago my colleagues at the Bach Mai Hospital in Hanoi gave me a copy of the recently published diary of Dang Thuy Tram. It was apparent that they were very moved by the contents of that diary. Unfortunately for me, the diary was written in Vietnamese. I could do little more that wait for a translation of the text.
Working and teaching at the Bach Mai Hospital Department of Intensive Care Medicine since 1997, I knew why I was given the copy of the diary. During my association with my Vietnamese colleagues, I had often lamented that unlike American military physicians, Vietnamese military physicians didn't write about their military medicine experiences. A frequent response to my queries had been that the experiences of Vietnamese physicians in the wars were so difficult, so harsh and so painful, over such extended periods, that Vietnamese physicians who survived the conflicts didn't wish to recall those devastating hardships. I tried to point this out in my recently published book - A DOCTOR'S VIETNAM JOURNAL, and credit the brave physicians who labored for the other side.
The recent arrival of the translation of the diary of Dang Thuy Tram - LAST NIGHT I DREAMED OF PEACE, provides us with the story of a young female physician's personal hardships and struggles to provide medical care under extremely difficult conditions and with inadequate resources. Like most military physicians working with patients in battle-zone settings, the respect, gratitude and in her case, the love of her patients, appeared to carry her through the most difficult times.
This brave and compassionate young lady suffered much during the two years of her military service, which ended with her own traumatic death.
Fortunately, her story survives through her diary which introduces us to a noble, idealistic and heroic young physician.

(Translated from the original Vietnamese by Andrew X. Pham)

April 8, 1968 is the first date in the diary of Dr. Dang Thuy Tram, a lovely, twenty-five year-old woman from Hanoi, who works as the chief medical officer in a field hospital in the mountains of central Vietnam. It is only two months after the Tet offensive and while hers is a civilian facility, she also treats many wounded soldiers.

Her first entry describes an appendectomy, "Operated on one case of appendicitis with inadequate anesthesia. I had only a few meager vials of Novocain to give the soldier, but he never groaned once during the entire procedure. He even smiled to encourage me."

Under conditions that were much less than optimal, she strives to give her patients the care she feels they deserve for devoting their lives to the cause of Vietnamese reunification under the banner of Ho Chi Minh's Party. In North Vietnam, she grew up in a somewhat privileged family and thus works extra hard to become a Party member. Yet she doesn't give up on the literature and music she was raised with. During nights in underground shelters, waiting for the end of American bombing raids, she discusses the works of Russian novelists with some of her friends. Her diary contains quotes from some of those works as well as quotations from well-known Vietnamese poetry.

Thuy, as she refers to herself, writes poignantly about the soldiers and villagers that she encounters. She also is very real in her musings about her own life - how she misses her parents and sisters who are still back in Hanoi, about her struggle to maintain proper sisterly affection for the young men who profess to love her. She seems naļve about love while harboring a passionate hatred for the Americans who are destroying her country and killing and maiming so many of her countrymen.

This book is not easy. The names and places are difficult to remember. Thuy Tram does not survive the war. This diary was found by an American soldier and returned to her family in March 2005. It was published in Hanoi in July 2005 and surprised everyone by being a major bestseller.

Andrew X. Pham enlisted the help of his father, who grew up in Hanoi, as well as Thuy's sister Kim Tram, to translate this book as accurately as possible. It also includes family pictures.

Armchair Interviews says: A vivid point of view written by a very sympathetic person.

The writing style is sometimes hard to follow and the author was obviously not trying to make an accurate day by day account of the war. It was more a personal project of hers, just to record her thoughts and feelings. I found it very touching and enlightening, to be able to have the thoughts of one from the "other side". It really humanizes the people who suffered in the war, those in Vietnam who were caught in a situation they could not escape.

Having traveled in Vietnam recently, with ordinary people from all walks of life there, some who fought for the Hanoi government, you begin to realize what a tragedy the entire conflict was. Not only for the 54,000 Americans killed, but for the soldiers from both sides, all 3 sides really, in Vietnam who just wanted a peaceful and normal life.

A lack of cultural understanding, and fear of a people we had no reason to fear was the root cause of the conflict. Books such as this will help bridge that gap, and bring about a more peaceful and tolerant world. Dang Thuy Tram, in my mind, did not die in vain. We owe it to her to read her thoughts..