Customer Reviews

Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship

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One of the most interesting books on relationships that I have ever read, "Lasting Love: The Five Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship" is a must read for anyone seeking to repair or strengthen their relationship. By studying people in successful long-term committed relationships Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have found five things in common among all of them. The authors don't pull any punches either as they start right off with the fact that you must take responsibility for your actions. It is only after taking responsibility for your actions that you can change them and take responsibility for your relationship. So the first secret is to understand commitment and take responsibility for a new kind of commitment. The remaining secrets are emotional honesty, establishing a no-blame relationship, dealing with unequal amounts of creative energy being put into the relationship, and engaging in acts of appreciation on a daily basis.

Each one of the secrets is examined in detail as the authors describe the problem, give examples of dialogue between couples that demonstrates the problem, and clearly define the path for moving forward. The result is a vital growing relationship that grows stronger each year instead of waning over time. This is not easy stuff that you can just read once, do it, and have your relationship entirely changed in a couple of hours. It involves internal reflection and examination of your self, your motivations, and your past. For some this will require too much work, but for anyone who is having difficulty in their relationship and really wants to make a change this is a roadmap to success.

"Lasting Love: The Five Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship" is a very highly recommended read for anyone in a long-term relationship or considering one.

The Hendricks make a strong case that people can achieve much if not all they want out of life while also becoming closer to their significant other if they are willing to commit the time and effort to do so. LASTING LOVE provides a method to achieve a closer commitment with a loved one. Based on a study of 2000 plus couples, the Hendricks isolated five prime causes that often kill relationships: (1) "an imbalance between the creative energy each partner contributes ..." (2) "a lack of emotional honesty" (3) "an unwillingness to accept responsibility ..." (4) "deep-seated commitment problems" and (5) "a deficiency of daily appreciations". The Hendricks offer detailed solutions to overcome any of these obstacles to include an action plan to change the relationship for the better. Finally there are joint activities aimed at improved communication between partners.

LASTING LOVE: The 5 Secrets Of Growing A Vital, Conscious Relationship is well written and easy to understand. The anecdotal stories and sample dialogs enable the reader to better comprehend what the Hendricks are describing. However, though a strong self help book, it takes two to apply and many couples will find the cost of adhering to the entire meticulous program quite difficult, but those who do will feel rewarded. Even using segments though not intended that way is useful. I tried a few exercises with my spouse and the communication techniques with my son. Though we honestly talked I did not like hearing what my son said about my book reviewing "obsession".

Harriet Klausner

Gay and Kathlyn have done it again! In Lasting Love they have included everything they have learned about creative, conscious, loving relationships since they wrote Conscious Loving in 1990. They walk the reader through the five secrets of creating and maintaining a lasting, close, incredible relationship. In the ER section, they provide immediate, helpful assistance for readers whose relationships are in crisis. This is the book for anyone who wants to create an incredible, close, intimate, loving relationship.

This is a wonderful book for any one in a relationship -- that is, any one at all, because even if we're not partnered, we have relationships with others -- family, friends, co-workers. The authors tell us that there are 5 "secrets" to having positive, healthy relationships -- commitment, emotional transparency, sharing responsiblity (not indulging in "it's your fault, not mine"), creative individuation, and appreciation. Their writing is simple but not simplistic. Their suggestions make a lot of sense -- I had a lot of "Wow! Of course!" moments in reading the book. In the section on commitment, for example, they show how often we are committed to the very opposite of what we think we are -- the unconscious commitment as opposed to the conscious one. If we want to have a conflict-free relationship, but find ourselves arguing all the time, then unconsciously we have committed to arguing. I can't really do their ideas justice in a short review -- read the book and find out for yourselves. I recommend it very highly.

This outstanding author continues to guide us to a more perfect concious life.

This book gives us the keys to not only improving our relationships, but transforming them into celebrations. Through mind expanding ideas such as appreciation as a spiritual practice, commitmitment to self and others, the Hendricks elevate relationships to the ideal of fun-filled triumphs. They remind us we are here as Divine Beings to serve all, ourselves and our partners, relatives and acquaintances.
This book should be standard fare for all high school students, it holds so many proven techniques and practices. Make no mistake, this is an extraordinary book. Buy this book and/or have your local library get a copy ASAP!!

I love Gay Hendricks, I listen to he and his wife all the time on Hayhouse.com. This book was one - if not the best book I have read on relationships! This book will defiantly teach you tools on how to have a great relationship. After reading this book, I believe that it's really possible to have a normal relationship.

I've never been SO disappointed in a book in all my life. I purchased this book via reader "recommendations" and found it to be repeatitive and convuluded mumbo jumbo! This book is a train wreck - it's badly written - bad structured and repeatitive beyond words. The authors style of writing is choppy (at best) and through their words, the author(s) both write like a couple of ex hippy generations self-help wannabees. If you really want "help" with your relationship (or how to improve them)....I would suggest looking elsewhere. This book isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Never recommend this book to anyone. Once again, it is only opinions of one couple. They have no bibliography, no other sources for their information. It is only a map of their experiences they have had. Tools are very basic and fundamental. "pop Psychology" Dont buy it.