A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage [Paperback]

Scott M. Stanley (Author), Daniel Trathen (Author), Milt Bryan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 15, 1998

Build a Marriage of Lasting Love

Finally a practical, easy-to-read book that deals with real marital issues from a Christian perspective! Soundly based on both biblical principles and marital research, A Lasting Promise is a must read for any couple who wants to upgrade their marriage and make it a promise for life!
--David and Claudia Arp, authors of The Second Half of Marriage

This essential resource offers Christian couples, a well-researched and proven method for dealing with conflicts and resolving problems in their marriage.

A Lasting Promise offers solutions to common problems--facing conflicts, problem solving, improving communication, and dealing with core issues--within a religious framework. With the ultimate purpose of upholding the sanctity of marriage, the book is filled with stories that reflect the sacred teachings of the scripture. The strategies outlined can help Christian couples to improve communication, understand commitment, bring more fun into their relationship, and even enhance their sex life. This book will serve as an invaluable resource for all couples who want to honor and preserve the holy sacrament of their union.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"I've been praying many years for people to discover from sound research why married couples separate and how to help them stay together in a loving way. I truly believe God has given us such a team in Scott Stanley and his colleagues. I not only give his book "two thumbs up." but I lift both my hands in thanksgiving to God for his work." (Gary Smalley, author of Making Love Last Forever)

"Finally a practical, easy-to-read book that deals with real marital issues from a Christian perspective! Soundly based on biblical principles and marital research. This is a must read for any couple." (David and Claudia Arp authors, The Second Half of Marriage)

"A Lasting Promise is packed full of practical skills that are research-based and Christ-centered. Step-by-step you'll draw closer together to enjoy the love God desires for you." (Tim Clinton, executive vice president, American Association of Christian Counseling)

From the Inside Flap

Based on the bestselling book, Fighting for Your Marriage, A Lasting Promise will help you create a marriage of lasting love. The powerful and practical principles are solidly based on Scripture with a unique blAnding of university research. The result is a thoroughly Christian version of the widely respected PREPtm (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program). "I've been praying many years for people to discover form sound research why married couples separate and how to help them stay together in a loving way. I truly believe God has given us such a team in Scott Stanley and his colleagues. I not only give his book "two thumbs up." but I lift both my hands in thanksgiving to God for his work."—Gary Smalley the author of Making Love Last Forever"Finally a practical, easy-to-read book that deals with real marital issues from a Christian perspective! Soundly based on both biblical principles and marital research, A Lasting Promise is a must read for any couple who wants to upgrade their marriage and make it a promise for life!"—David and Claudia Arp authors of The Second Half of Marriage "A Lasting Promise is packed full of practical skills that are research-based and Christ-centered. Step-by-step you'll draw closer together to enjoy the love God desires for you."—Tim Clinton, executive vice president, American Association of Christian Counseling

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (April 15, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787939838
• ISBN-13: 978-0787939830
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,459 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #71 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Counseling

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

100 of 101 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable read, application-oriented tool for all marriages June 29, 1999

By [e-mail]

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is the most useful, application-oriented book on how to build a great marriage I have ever read. Chapter two identifies four specific behaviors that are life threatening to marriage. It is based on a huge data bank of research. One study evaluated many couples over a 12 year period, some beginning before they were even actually married. Evaluations were conducted through multiple, extensive interviews and videotaping of the couple's interactions over the years, which were then reviewed by a team of reasearchers. Presence of the four specific behaviors were predictors of divorce with up to 91% accuracy. Each behavior is examined and tools provided to break these habits. Each section of the book is intensly valuable for couples with good marriages and for those in serious trouble. There are samples of different disputes, communications, and problem solving done by couples in real life situations. There are many self tests, and questions for discussion that really help couples identify clearly where their marriages are great and where they could be better. Best of all, these tools are all related back to scripture to solidify the true value and importance of building and protecting a great marriage. I will buy this book for my married adult children and recommend it to every married couple I know! It is a MUST have!

49 of 49 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly practical and life-changing book January 5, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

As a military chaplain, I have found "A Lasting Promise" to be one of the most effective tools to use with couples at every stage of the life cycle. Premarital couples, young marrieds, couples with children, and more mature couples have benefitted greatly from the principles presented in this fine work. Based on extensive research, the principles so clearly presented and illustrated in "A Lasting Promise" will revolutionize your marriage and your work as a counselor with premarital and married couples. Don't miss making this resource a part of your toolbox for enhancing your relationships!! -Military Chaplain

31 of 31 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great guide for both Christian clinicians and couples September 29, 2005

By Judy Huang

Format:Paperback

Part One: Handling Conflict / Protecting Your Marriage

Ch. 1: Oneness

Ch. 2: Four Key Patterns That Destroy Oneness

Ch. 3: Communicating Safely and Clearly: The Speaker-Listener Technique

Ch. 4: Problem Solving

Ch. 5: Ground Rules for Protecting Your Marriage from Conflict

Part Two: Going Deeper

Ch. 6: Issues and Events

Ch. 7: Unmet Expectations and What to Do About Them

Ch. 8: Understanding Commitment

Ch. 9: The Power of Commitment

Ch. 10: Forgiveness and the Restoration of Intimacy

Part Three: The Great Things

Ch. 11: Preserving and Protecting Friendship

Ch. 12: Increasing Your Fun Together

Ch. 13: Enhancing and Protecting Your Sex Life

Ch. 14: Spiritual Intimacy and Oneness

This book is a useful, easy to read and application and goal oriented book written for a wide audience. If I would to compare this book with other books on the topic of marriage, I would say this book can be described as "The Christian version of Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." The reason why I use the above description is because this book is similar to Gottman's book with plenty of easy to read and easy to follow cognitive principles and exercises; however, this book is based on God's wisdom in the Bible which is different from Gottman's approach which also gives a very refreshing view of cognitive therapy from the Christian perspective. This book is focused on practical action of how a Christian couple can take to strengthen their marriage, but I think this book is still useful for non-Christians. Many practical examples and actions mentioned are needed in today's marriages.

There are 3 major sections in this book. Part one starts with the most important message: oneness in marriage and oneness in Christ. This first chapter really gives Christian couples the true meaning of marriage in Christ and the rest of the part one gives basic techniques to teach couples how to handle conflicts and difficult issues. Part two goes beyond part one's basic techniques and talks about deeper issues and events happened in marriage or earlier in lives. Part two gives couples a great concept of how commitment in marriage works which I think many of the secular books do not stress the importance on this issue. However, if you are looking for very thorough analysis on internal hurt and attachment issues, part two only offers very limited information on the deeper issues. It is still a cognitive directed book. Finally, part three focuses on positive aspects like friendship, fun, sexuality and spirituality of how to make marriage work. I thought the authors did a good job by ending this book with a very positive note to allow the full mystery of oneness to be expressed between the couple.

This book is a very practical guide and it offers many strategies with the support from Bible verses. At the end of each chapter, there are useful exercises to help the readers to capture the concepts of the chapter. I like this book because it is very easy to read with tons of useful information and it is designed for Christian readers to strengthen their marriages. From the book, it is easy to see where in the Bible you can find verses to support authors' ideas. Even though this book is designed for Christian readers, I think many of the concepts and exercises are still useful for non-Christians. But if you are trying to find a book which talks about deeper attachment issues, then this book is not for you. It offers many cognitive tips and exercises and I think this book should be a companion book to other marriage counseling books for a Christian therapist.

I would recommend this book for Christian therapist and Christian couples. I think even though it is a very practical and easy-read guide, non-Christians might not appreciate the references in Bible and the beliefs in the book; however, a therapist can definitely use this book to help his or her non-Christian clients by using the concept and exercises in the book.