Customer Reviews

Laughing Allegra: The Inspiring Story of a Mother's Struggle and Triumph Raising a Daughter with Learning Disabilities

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When a child is born, parents are filled with positive dreams for his or her future. These typically include success in school, supportive friends, good health and a life filled with joy. If the child were a painting, it would have bright colors, sharp focus, every detail in place. But that fairy-tale existence is just that --- a fable. We are imperfect, and so are children.

And then there are families that get an extra helping of imperfection. Instead of dreams, they get challenges which can either pull them together or fracture them. In Anne Ford's case the "perfect world" dream dissolved when she learned that her daughter Allegra had learning disabilities. While they were not visible to the naked eye, what was going on inside Allegra was impeding her development and her ability to learn. It's never easy to accept a dark, definitive verdict, especially when it concerns a small child. To her credit, Anne did. And then she became Allegra's advocate and cheerleader, as well as her mother.

Few books have moved me as much as LAUGHING ALLEGRA. While the story of our family is different from Anne's, I do know what happens when the picture gets blurred. What works about this book is that Anne writes this memoir with candor and feeling --- right from the heart. She captures the swirl of emotion that surrounds this diagnosis, the questions that every parent asks and the path through what is always uncharted territory, as each child is his or her own mosaic. At the same time, she offers concrete information that parents of learning-disabled children need. Most important of all: Anne Ford shows us, beat by beat, how she helped her daughter build a world in which she could laugh instead of cower, succeed instead of fail. She empowered Allegra and along the way empowered herself as well.

The book is by no means whitewashed with only upbeat anecdotes. In her writing you can feel the pain that filled many of these years, as well as the uncertainty. The book took four years to write and along the way Anne had to dredge up some feelings that readers will see are still raw. There is no quick patch when you have watched your child hurting; clearly, she ripped the bandages off to write this.

Often when people learn that things are not "perfect," there is a natural feeling of being overwhelmed with the unknown. For parents who have found themselves either on the cusp of the diagnosis, or grappling with its meaning, or even those who are further along the path and want to read how another family grew with this, I recommend LAUGHING ALLEGRA. I also recommend it for parents of so-called "normal children," who may want to understand rather than dismiss the schoolmate their child knows who is different, or special.

Anne's book stresses that this is a family issue as it affects the entire family. She was a single mother, but also had a son, Alessandro, whose role as Allegra's older brother took him on a journey that he also had not expected. The effect on him is spoken about with enough depth to ensure that readers realize that that all people in the family must grapple with the challenge.

One thing to note here. Allegra is now thirty and living independently. As I read I thought about the great strides that are being made every day in the diagnosis and treatment of learning disabilities. Anne and Allegra came to tackle many of the challenges without the tools that are now in place. This, as much of any of Anne's stories, can bring parents great hope.

The back of the book has appendices with list of resources and excellent guidelines on such topics as Questions Parents Ask, Mothers and Fathers Understanding Each Other and Your Legal Rights. They are as well-written as the rest of the book, and provide more nuts and bolts information.

I cannot recommend a book more highly than this. Halfway through I found myself making lists of people who would enjoy it. I encourage you to pick it up --- and then spread the word.

--- Reviewed by Carol Fitzgerald

I purchased this book many times, it is one that I keep in my car. I use it to help teachers, friends and family members understand my children and others like them. It has helped me understand why I feel the frustration when my kids "don't get it" or need extra guidance in different situations or in the public school system. It is a book that I give to their teachers in hope that they will take the time to read it. As I read this book for the first time, I highlighted many sentences, example - page 17 - quote "She was so funny and effervescent and her behavior was so far frm being considered " a problem" that my mother gave up all attempts at discipline or even expressions of disapproval".... I can remember so many times my kids - acting out -- but in a way that was just "their way" they are so full of expressions and life.

most important - page 39 - There is more then enough heartace involved in coming to terms with the fact that your child is disabled. .... this is the truth, but with this book it helped me come to terms with it and I am trying to help others. Please take the time to read this book it will help you, empower you and your child. You are the voice for your child, you are their confidant. You need to read this book....another wonderful book is Legacy of the Blue Heron, Living with Learning Disabilities by Harry Sylvester.

Anne Ford has written a remarkable book. This is tremendously helpful for all parents that have children with learning disabilities. Also, it is a great lesson that shows the rest of us to reach out to others with love, patience and dignity.

This is a wonderful book for any parent, written in an honest, unvarnished manner. Very insightful..... with lessons on supporting, loving, and accepting one's child no matter that the child's reality differs from the parents' dream.

As a parent of a learning disabled child myself, I found Anne Ford's willingness to share her story incredibly helpful and insightful, and I'd like to personally thank her for it. I sent a copy to each adult member of my family with hopes of giving them greater insight into my daugther's world as well as our family's....

I have to say, I sobbed while reading parts of this book. My own daughter struggles with learning disabilities, and a low IQ. I have felt alone in this battle for so long, and this book showed how wrong I have been. She tells it like it is, and although everything is not exactly the same, I really felt like she 'got it'. After having bought so many informational guides, I really loved reading a real story of the struggles of everyday life.

I also will always appreciate the speech by her son, where he describes how left out and alone he felt because his mother was preoccupied with her daughter. That alone spoke volumes, and I made a date with my other kids right away. I discussed why my time is consumed with their sister, and told them that I do know I need to make more one on one time for them. It is one blessing I will not soon forget.

If you have a learning disabled child, just get this book. Great resources in it too (maybe some of these kids can go to college after all!!!)

This is a great read, especially for mothers. Anne Ford helps moms of kids with LDs realize that they are not alone in their feelings of fear and isolation. It's a touching story that all parents can relate to, and hopefully, learn from. Keep your tissues handy though!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. As the mother of a daughter with learning disabilities, it was amazing to read about how similar she is to Allegra. It helps to be able to validate your thoughts, feelings and concerns by reading about the experience of another mother. Anne Ford is able to clearly and accurately articulate what it's like to raise a child with learning disabilities which is something not all of us can really define. I would also recommend her book "On Their Own". I refer to it again and again especially when trying to explain to someone what it means to be learning disabled.

For years I have looked for books that validate the feelings I've had as a mother of children with learning disabilities. No book does it better! I highly recommend this book as a keepsake in the home library and return to it often on those days when no one seems to understand what you're going through.

Excellent and true story about a family dealing with their beloved daughter and a major learning disabilty.