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Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box [Kindle Edition]

The Arbinger Institute
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (286 customer reviews)

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Book Description

For too long, the issue of self-deception has been the realm of deep-thinking philosophers, academics, and scholars working on the central questions of the human sciences. The public remains generally unaware of the issue. That would be fine except that self-deception is so pervasive it touches every aspect of life. "Touches" is perhaps too gentle a word to describe its influence. Self-deception actually determines one's experience in every aspect of life. The extent to which it does that, and in particular the extent to which it is the central issue in leadership, is the subject of this book.

Editorial Reviews Review

Using the story/parable format so popular these days, Leadership and Self-Deception takes a novel psychological approach to leadership. It's not what you do that matters, say the authors (presumably plural--the book is credited to the esteemed Arbinger Institute), but why you do it. Latching onto the latest leadership trend won't make people follow you if your motives are selfish--people can smell a rat, even one that says it's trying to empower them. The tricky thing is, we don't know that our motivation is flawed. We deceive ourselves in subtle ways into thinking that we're doing the right thing for the right reason. We really do know what the right thing to do is, but this constant self-justification becomes such an ingrained habit that it's hard to break free of it--it's as though we're trapped in a box, the authors say.

Learning how the process of self-deception works--and how to avoid it and stay in touch with our innate sense of what's right--is at the heart of the book. We follow Tom, an old-school, by-the-book kind of guy who is a newly hired executive at Zagrum Corporation, as two senior executives show him the many ways he's "in the box," how that limits him as a leader in ways he's not aware of, and of course how to get out. This is as much a book about personal transformation as it is about leadership per se. The authors use examples from the characters' private as well as professional lives to show how self-deception skews our view of ourselves and the world and ruins our interactions with people, despite what we sincerely believe are our best intentions.

While the writing won't make John Updike lose any sleep, the story entertainingly does the job of pulling the reader in and making a potentially abstruse argument quite enjoyable. The authors have a much better ear for dialogue than is typical of the genre (the book is largely dialogue), although a certain didactic tone creeps in now and then. But ultimately it's a hopeful, even inspiring read that flows along nicely and conveys a message that more than a few managers need to hear. --Pat McGill


"... not just another book on leadership. It identifies the central issue of all performance. I recommend it very highly." -- Brad Pelo, President and CEO, NextPage

"... shows why the truth about failure is so difficult to see, and explains how to overcome such self-deception." -- Dave Checketts, President and CEO, Madison Square Garden Corp.

"Arbinger taught our leadership team at LensCrafters and the difference...was remarkable. This is the...key to productivity and creativity." -- Dave Browne, former President and CEO, LensCrafters

"Don't be fooled by the title--this book is for everyone. I can't think about my life the same way again." -- Jack Anderson, Syndicated Columnist and Pulitzer Prize Winner

"Fascinating, thought provoking, and insightful! Once I started reading, I couldnt put it down." -- Steven C. Wheelwright, Professor and Senior Associate Dean, Harvard Business School

"From boosting the bottom line to increasing personal joy, this book shows the way." -- Bruce L. Christensen, former President and CEO, PBS

"I love this book. Like truth itself, it reveals more with each re-examination. I recommend it highly." -- Doug Hauth, Sales Vice President, Lucent Technologies

"I've known the work of the Arbinger Institute for years. Arbinger's ideas are profound, with deep and sweeping implications for organizations. Leadership and Self-Deception provides the perfect introduction to this material. It is engaging and fresh, easy to read, and packed with insight. I couldn't recommend it more highly." -- Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

"This is significant, original stuff. This book is a terrific introduction to Arbinger's groundbreaking material. I enjoyed it immensely." -- Robert C. Gay, Managing Director, Bain Capital

Product Details

  • File Size: 661 KB
  • Print Length: 180 pages
  • Publisher: Berrett-Koehler (January 15, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001DYVL4G
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #764,186 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
216 of 230 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The essence of true leadership is revealed January 18, 2003
This is a most unusual book on leadership. The premise here is not about leadership approaches, methodologies for managing employees in the workplace, or other business strategy, but is instead a close and powerful look at how we view others and how that view impacts our ability to lead them.
The first unusual aspect of this book is the manner in which it is written. It is basically a novel. It starts with contextual story written in first person, of a man who has recently joined a successful company as an executive and is called in to meet personally with the Company senior leader. From the first few pages I was anticipating and wanting to know what would happen next. It is within this method that the leadership principles are revealed. This is an extremely important way to deliver a message. I know a few people who do not read novels, but stick to non-fiction types of books. This is a tremendous loss, as truth is most eloquently and powerfully conveyed within the context of a story. In the New Testament for example, Jesus taught most powerfully in parables, weaving truth into a common story people could relate to. In that manner this book weaves some powerful messages about leadership into a modern day parable of a business executive.
The concept presented in this book of what leadership is, is also a more unusual one in that the focus is not on "what" we do behaviorally to others, our outward leadership style, as most leadership books focus on, but rather our inward view of these individuals as people. The foundational question is whether we are "in the box" or not. "In the box" refers generally to viewing others as objects through our own biased lens, which often without our knowledge inflates our self-importance while diminishing theirs.
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87 of 92 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very simple, very good October 7, 2005
I hate business books. Hate them.

My parents and siblings practically insisted I read Stephen Covey's jargon-rich "The Seven Habits..." and I got as far as something about the "P/PC principle" before deciding I'd had too much. Just seeing print ads for "Who moved my cheese?" makes me want to vomit.

That said, this is not really a business book. It's a book about truly being a better person, and by being a better person, being a better spouse, parent, boss, friend, citizen, and employee. The whole concept of the book is one simple idea: treat people as if they're people, not as if they're objects.

Some car cuts you off in traffic?

Get mad!

No. A car didn't cut you off. A person did. Why? Why would a person do that? Have YOU yourself ever cut someone off? You did? Why did you?

"Well, I was in a hurry. I was late for an appointment...."

Well, maybe that guy was too....

Using this simple approach, the world can be a much nicer place, you can spend a lot less time being angry or frustrated, and you could end up liking people a lot more.

Unlike books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People," this book is not about tricks, or flattery, or social politics. It's about truly seeing people as real individuals, and then, it doesn't matter what you need to say to them, as long as they can tell you realize they're a real human being with real needs and concerns. Because to truly see someone, is to truly value them.

This book isn't perfect--it uses some pretty fruity terminology at times, its format of a boss talking with an employee is a little cheesy, and it ends abruptly--but it could change your life nonetheless. One reviewer said, "Upon finishing this book, I felt like Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas morning," and I'd have to agree.

In fact, I'm going to re-read it, and get that feeling back again.
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53 of 61 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You can't go wrong with this book! October 24, 2002
There are three types of business books. The first has the literary taste and texture of recycled cardboard, with platitudes as plentiful as the mosquitoes on your last camping trip. Then there are the "empty calorie" books, offering a fleeting sense of exhilaration--that is, until you actually stop to ponder how any of this feel-good nonsense is really going to make a difference in your day-to-day work experience. On occasion, one finds a book that is both pleasing to read and at the same time provides information that can be applied directly to improving one's work performance and enjoyment. Leadership and Self-Deception, by the Arbinger Institute, falls into this latter category.
Although targeted towards the business leader, L&SD explores a fundamental problem that is not necessarily limited to the world of the corporate jungle. The problem, which is both philosophically deep yet surprisingly simple, is self-deception. A founding principle of the book is that we are self-deceived when we have a problem, but don't know that we do, resulting in perceptions and actions that are damaging and counter-productive. L&SD clearly illustrates how we become self-deceived and, more importantly, how we can remove ourselves from this predicament.
L&SD is surprisingly fresh, insightful, and potentially rewarding for those who put the principles into practice. From the preface: "Our experience in teaching about self-deception and its solution is that people find this knowledge liberating. It sharpens vision, reduces feelings of conflict, enlivens the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifies the capacity to achieve results, and deepens satisfaction and happiness." This was precisely my experience with reading the book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Great way to learn about how to advance your people ...
Great way to learn about how to advance your people and personal skills. I know I've become better just by reading this. Good buy.
Published 29 days ago by Ani
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
good training aid
Published 1 month ago by J. Michael
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Business Book!
Published 1 month ago by Shoelfy
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
My boss got this.
Published 1 month ago by Amy Whitnel
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read in my opinion
This book is a must read if you are looking to learn more about yourself and have a happier life. It also helps you to understand your interaction with other people and how it can... Read more
Published 1 month ago by TLC
2.0 out of 5 stars Simplistic and patronising
The message of this short book is you'll be a better leader, a better manager and a better person if you `treat people as people and not as objects' and stop being... Read more
Published 1 month ago by The Guardian
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for any person in leadership or sales
Great book for any person in leadership or sales. Really, it's a good book for anyone seeking to improve a relationship with peers, customers, supervisors, or employees. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Amy Morton
5.0 out of 5 stars Top notch book on self exploration of how personality influences ...
Top notch book on self exploration of how personality influences hahavior. Causes you to look into the mirror and be honest and real with yourself.
Published 2 months ago by Richard Giombetti
5.0 out of 5 stars I recommend reading it first
A very appropriate follow-up to The Anatomy of Peace. I recommend reading it first.
Published 2 months ago by Linda N. Bentley
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
good read, some people love it and others hate it, I guess I fall right in the middle
Published 3 months ago by Linda A. Fedewa
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Phases 2 and 3?

Did you ever get your questions answered?

Phase I is equivalent to Day 1 in any of the many 2-day seminars put on by Arbinger. Day 1 focuses on The Choice - things that are covered in L&SD and Anatomy of peace.

Phase II applies the principles from The Choice to a specific setting such... Read More
Jul 6, 2008 by William Branson |  See all 2 posts
leadership material Be the first to reply
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