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Leading Women Who Wound: Strategies for an Effective Ministry

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Leading Women Who Wound by Sue Edwards & Kelley Mathews is an essential tool for every church. The authors focus on a problem that causes harm to so many churches: women members fighting and attacking each other. As Christian women, we are not supposed to engage in gossip, rumors, or backbiting, but every church suffers from it at one time. I left the church my family had attended for over 80 years because of women who had wounded me, so I could relate to the stories the authors share about the damage women do to each other. They do a wonderful job of explaining the difference between women who are "dragons" and live to stir up trouble versus good women who are sincere about their beliefs and don't intend to cause a problem, but can't see anyone else's point of view. By giving specific examples of several different trouble-making behaviors, the authors help readers to see where problems may arise and how to deal with them. In my reading, I discovered that there have been some times where I have been guilty of not following the Matthew 18 rules about how to deal with discord within the church, and I will be far more careful in the future. Matthew 18 states that when someone has a problem with someone else in the church, they should speak together privately. If the problem is unresolved, two or three witnesses should be involved to help settle the dispute. If that is unsuccessful, the dispute should be taken to church leaders. The authors provide step by step instructions on how to make the system work as smoothly as possible. There's also a chapter specifically for male leaders within the church to help them settle disputes between female members while respecting the women's point of view. I think this book should be on every church bookshelf to encourage Christian women to work together rather than tear each other apart.

We've all been wounded--and we've all inflicted wounds on others. Why? What drives us to behave that way? Why do we set ourselves up to be hurt time and time again? And how do we not only heal from our wounds but see them coming and head them off at the pass?

All good questions, and all needing practical answers if we are to be whole, healthy, contributing women. Authors Sue Edwards and Kelley Mathews have addressed these very questions in their excellent book Leading Women Who Wound: Strategies for an Effective Ministry. Highly recommended for any woman who wants to move beyond the limitations of past hurts and offenses.