Customer Reviews

Leap!: What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives?

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Davidson's `Leap' is essentially about what we do after work and before death. She answers with an array of loosely attached anecdotal answers showing the tenuous relationship between the success and wealth of baby-boomers and the ideals they experienced and held in the 1960's.

Her discussion on aging seems to settle for the more Oprah-friendly answers of - "Don't fight it. Get used to it. Accept and embrace it. Take care of your health and sanity." Of course she writes in a more engaging style and as a result her words aren't nearly as blandly stated. At the same time I wanted more substance, significance, and deeper answers - those she's found to be true about the human condition, beauty, morality, and life.

She writes, "I can't sleep either. I fall asleep but wake at 2 a.m., shaking with fear. What am I supposed to do for the next 30 years? I've raised my kids, written best sellers, had deep love ... Why am I still here?"

That is the ultimate question, and in asking this question one faces what Davidson calls `going through the narrows'.

She goes on to say, "While there's no single route through the narrows, I can tell you that there's sunlight and air at the other side. What became clear for me may be utterly different than for you. I've talked with a man who's building a hospital in Uganda, a woman who's becoming a nun at 50, a couple who are adopting a child at 61. Others have a passion to live near their families and play golf."

My question is, "Is there no hierarchy in our choices?" She seems to suggest that all decisions are equally valid. You can play golf, watch tv, help the homeless - whatever works for you. I'm not sure if I buy this. Certainly a diversity of involvement in life can result in a well-rounded person. However, aren't some pursuits more worthwhile, more rewarding, and more fulfilling? If we are here for a reason, then what is that reason and how do I best live my life in light of that reason? What I mean is, if we're here for a purpose then should we seek to fulfill that purpose? This is what I wish Davidson had asked.

Sara Davidson may not have been aware when she wrote Leap! that it would not only be a guide for aging baby boomers, but also a healing message for those in grief.

Let me explain. I was intrigued by the Newsweek review of the book, and bought it in March shortly after it came out. However, I didn't read it right away. I have a high stress Silicon Valley job that leaves little time for reading books. "I'll get to it when I get a chance," I told myself.

Regrettably, in the past month, I have had that chance. I've been on leave from my job since mid-April, when my 22-year old son drowned in a boating accident. Among other grief counseling, I have read "grief" related books people recommended -- but they were not terribly satisfactory.

So over the last week, I picked up Leap! from my stack of unread books, and read it. Leap! has done more to focus my mind on what to do under these tragic circumstances than almost all, if not all, of the other things I have done. At a minimum, I am thinking about quitting my job (I can afford to) and live life as Davidson has suggested. My son's premature death has shown me that life is too short and uncertain to do anything else.

So many thanks to Sara Davidson for writing something that, inadvertenly or not, has been a true inspiration and source of comfort.

(This review written by Sue Kayton's husband using her account.)

Poor Sara. She is baffled by the rejection that keeps coming her way. No one wants to buy her self-described "edgy" screenplay that features "a lovable and loyal bloodhound that gets its throat cut while its owner is forced to watch." When she arrives in India a week late for a brief "volunteer vacation" during which she whines about the conditions and sneaks away to a luxury hotel to take a hot shower, she can't understand why the other volunteers want nothing to do with her.

Her attempt to find answers about how to deal with her failures is to interview her large cadre of successful friends and acquaintances. She reassures the reader of each person's worth by listing their accomplishments as well as any famous people with whom they may have worked. Wow! Sara knows someone who used to work for a once-famous entertainer! Sara was once married to a man whose father wrote hit musicals in the thirties! She talked to a plastic surgeon who "will not confirm or deny" that he has worked on famous singers! She knows someone who was once a staff writer for a sitcom! Even the never-famous high school English teacher "taught literature at one of the most rigorous schools in Manhattan." Pity the poor teachers who teach at the less rigorous schools. This book has little use for them. Most of the people interviewed in this book have found at least a modicum of wealth and fame in some artistic endeavor, and Davidson spares the reader little detail as she describes each person's tremendous physical attractiveness and gorgeous, expensive residence.

This book beautifully illustrates the kind of self-absorbed, self-important, self-centered perspective that makes Americans so beloved around the world. Davidson writes about being drawn to relocating to Costa Rica because it "has buzz" as well as free health care paid for by native people described as "cheap labor" and "nonconfrontational." Does a formerly famous baby boomer deserve anything less?

Finally, as other reviewers have mentioned, Davidson takes great pains to point out that dedicating time and effort to helping the needy is no more worthy than maximizing one's own artistic fulfillment. In fact, the entire subtext of this book suggests the latter is a far more noble accomplishment.

But don't take my word for it. Read the review in the New York Times. I've been told it's a very well-regarded publication.

This book promised a lot and delivered very little. The cover tag touts: informative, entertaining, and above all, helpful. Leap! strikes out on all three counts. It read like a boring letter from an acquaintance who was very into name-dropping. I've enjoyed other people's vacation pictures more. There was nothing in this book that provided boomers with real-world options to use as they move through this life transition. Most of us don't relate to Jane Fonda, Carly Simon or the CEO of Air America Radio. What I was looking for was some advice from others in their boomer years for coping with life after 50. I wanted tried-and-true ideas about what to do now that my kids are grown and I have some time to devote to myself. This book is not the place to find that information. But if you want to read about all the famous writers, actors, models, etc. that Sara Davidson has known, this is the book for you.

I can now die peacefully; I have learned the condition of Cheryl Tiegs' fifty-seven-year-old breasts. In addition, I've learned exactly how to perform a face lift. (Note: Do not try this at home--unless you have a towel to sew into your scalp to hold your hair back.) The dust jacket of this book promises "reflections from the Boomer generation." It is, more precisely, a series of pieces of dialogue with older celebrities and the affluent, interspersed with reflections on the part of the author. I think Davidson has the ability to write. But as an editor, I would have torn this book apart, then put it back together sans fluff and drivel.

I am a boomer, and have always been proud of how we've tried to make the world a better place. However, this book began to open my eyes to why some not of our generation despise us. The author is amazingly shallow and self-absorbed, and it come across in almost every chapter. A few of her vignettes were interesting and inspiring, but some were simply profiles of other navel-gazing rich people who can't sustain a relationship or really give to the world in a consistent and meaningful way. I was especially amused at her shock at being disliked on her volunteer vacation- maybe she was treated unfairly but I suspect, knowing group dynamics, that her dismay at the conditions and whining about the situation contributed to her isolation. The obsession with trying to look young when, let's face it, we just aren't anymore, was sad and pitiable. All in all, this book was useful for one reason- it again illustrated for me who I do not want to be in this stage of my life.

Reading this book was a release from the guilt I'd felt in falling below "standards" I was "supposed to have achieved" at this time of my life. Every day we hear about "famous" and "successful" people who aren't losers like ourselves. "Leap" has brought us these very people- legends and icons, who are, now- alone, suddenly without careers, and searching for ways to fight back and stay in the game of life. Even those at the top can have everything crumble around them, find their mate suddenly turn cruel and leave, or watch their foundations collapse with no warning.
So, no: if you're having a hard time struggling to make life work for you, it isn't because you are missing some magical ingredient. This book throws light on the universal nature of life's inconstancy, even for people who have already reached the mountain top, and reassures us that everybody has their share of struggles to overcome. It's an immensely reassuring read illuminating the fact that nobody is "charmed", because we are all alive, and that state carries with it the necessity of constant adjustment and growth. It really helps with this stage of life to read something like this.

When a friend gave me this book, I thought, "not another book for women about how to grow old." What the hell does that have to do with me? However,as is my habit to read the first paragraph of any book handed to me, I did-in this case just to confirm that LEAP was not for me. Three hours later,having had a few beers and stuffed a jar of peanuts in my mouth, I was deep into the book--that had everything to do with me. I'm a man over 60 who has had a successful career (still having it) but each day I feel a growing sense of despair. My kids are grown with families of their own, my once athletic body creaks with every push up and most important I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Reading LEAP made me want to leap into things I have been dreaming about for years. Instead of depressing me the stories in the book of people my age, famous and not so famous embracing getting older stirred me. I felt reenergized (I realize this sounds like a TV infomercial) about my future. In the short time I've had the book, I have returned to it almost daily to re-read sections. I've also bought the book for a number of men my age, who all gave me attitude until I pushed them to read the book-now they're LEAPING with me, not quite dunking the ball, like we dreamed we did 40 years ago but feeling like we could. What a great way to get ready for March Madness.

In Leap, Sara Davidson writes with curousity and honesty about different people dealing with the joys and challenges of changing life in the later years. Don't misunderstand me. This is not a book about what do when you retire, or are downsized, or your children leave for college? Instead, it's a collection of stories - stories about people weaving lives that embrace past, present, and future. The narratives caused me to pause and reflect on who I was as a young adult, then a mother, a wife, my career, and how I want to live my life as I move forth in the years to come. Davidson makes no claims - she is not an author to offer answers. What she does is more compelling - she reaches out to the reader through story and personal narratives - and in the end - allows the reader to share in a journey. Davidson has a gift for language and truth. This book is a must for anyone who is facing the future a little uncertain, a little lost - yet highly believes that the answers are there - and if they take a quiet moment to pause and a moment to connect with those around them - the future will rise to meet them.

I've forgotten who or what gave me the bum steer, but I found Sara Davidson via "Leap!" to be a whiny and tiresome egomaniac, starting with Chapter One. Then by Chapter Two she freely states that she "never liked dogs". That clinched it for me, revealing enough about her character that I decided I need not read further. Actually, I wouldn't have managed to complete those forty-or-so pages had I not been confined in a doctor's office waiting room. But if Ms. Davidson's readership is as desperate as the book title suggests, maybe this drivel will seem inspiring. So if the shoe fits - knock yourself out, I say.