Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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1.0 out of 5 stars
If it were only that easy!, April 21, 2009
This author is back in the dark ages...."spare the rod and spoil the child" thinking. If it were only that easy! "
My child has been "spacey" ever since toddlerhood. Despite the very best parenting--love, affection, rules, patience, persistance--nothing worked to lower her distraction level. We could never figure it out--why was a child of 5 who was reading at a high school level so forgetful, so inattentive, and so dreamy? Why was she up at 2 am reading her math books? Why did she have a bizarre fear of ants? How could I ever get her to learn to tie her shoes at age 11?
Daughter's IQ tests revealed an IQ of 151 (above genius) but a processing function of merely 100, average. No wonder daughter was frustrated and unhappy! Her brain just couldn't stay still in one place and her emotions were scattered. "Normal" kids can't relate to her spacey, air-headed and distracted thinking.
Do you mean to tell me even MORE punishment is going to work? I think not! The ONLY thing that has worked is medication. Thank God I got over the mindset that it was poor parenting/bad schools, etc. It was the mere fact that daughter has lowered dopamine activity in her frontal cortex, plain and simple.
I'd like to bop the author over the head with this book, a real waste of time and money. At best, it is completely unhelpful for those who truly have ADHD or ADD. At worst, it is insulting and punitive.
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19 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hope for frantic parents, February 28, 2001
This is a book that should be compulsory reading for every parent and would-be parent, for every student, for every pastor, for every medical doctor, for every teacher. There is no one who has anything to do with children and their development who should not read this book.In this book it is shown that it is totally wrong to think of humans as coming into this world with all the necessary information stored up within them. Animals, yes, they have instincts such that when raised apart from their natural mother they will develop into the creature they are supposed to be. Man does not have that instinct. Everything he becomes he has to learn. And to learn it correctly he needs to be instructed correctly. Even his conscience has to be developed and taught. That is the repeating refrain in this book. We have to be taught everything we eventually know. And if that instruction is not done correctly we will not learn. If we are not subjected to the discipline of learning, of building up a base of knowledge then we are going to drop out of society. Children have to be taught and taught correctly. The modern system of education where the child is left to discover things for himself is as much use as taking a railroad engine off its tracks and saying, "Make your own free way through this land." How far will that engine get? It will get nowhere. For it is only free to travel throughout the land so long as it stays on its tracks, as long as the discipline of the tracks is applied to it. In this book we are given the illustration of sports. Every sport is played to a very strict code. There are referees and umpires at every turn. And woe betide the player who does not play according to the rules. Well, life is exactly like that. There are certain rules and our children have to be taught those rules, they don't discover them for themselves. The many so-called mental disorders, that children supposedly sufffer from today, are no more than a lack of discipline where the child is allowed to freely express itself with no regard for others, thereby not learning the value and need for self-discipline. This book has been thoroughly researched and its findings well documented. That is why I can say the authors prove their case when they maintain that mind-altering drugs are not the solution for children who cannot seem to learn something and who are frustrated in their learning process. Any of us who are frustrated by something unknown would behave in a similar fashion even though we have learned the necessity of discipline in our own lives. I think the familiar joke of the golfer throwing away a club when he has duffed a shot will bear that out. The authors place the responsibility for training children squarely on the shoulders of the parents. However, you are not left feeling guilty about your shortcomings and failures. They outline how a child learns and how a parent should teach and train their children. They give some very practical help on how to love and discipline one's child in such a way that it retains its dignity. It is not an easy task. You may insist upon correct behaviour in the home, but the school, the media, your child's peers are all insisting that he or she throw off the yoke of parental guidance and be free, as they call it. This, however, is a road that leads to self-destruction. But it can be done! If one wants to raise good and responsible children one must understand that no two children are the same. Some things we take to quite naturally, others can only learn with great difficulty. But any person can learn. That is the good news. And you can overcome your child's so-called learning problem by applying the right technique. If you care about your child, if you love your child, you will get this book and be informed as to what is happening around you. This applies especially to those of you who are having difficulty with your offspring. They are not mentally deficient. They do not have ADHD, ODD, Conduct Disorder or any other such term that infers that there is something wrong with them. Your child is normal. All he needs is the correct love and discipline and the correct instruction that will create a foundation of knowledge that he can use to make the necessary correct discoveries as he goes through life.
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3 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Not really about ADHD, March 12, 2004
If you are looking for a book to help you understand ADHD and/or trying to get some answers about choosing to medicate your child or not - this is not it!!! The entire book is about the field of psychology and how ADHD was "made up" by doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists. It spans everything from the failure of the public educational system to the failure of our society. In fact, ADHD is hardly discussed at all except at the end of the book. In the last few chapters, the author explains how to parent without medications. His answer - spank your child for every infraction. His viewpoint is that children are being diagnosed with ADHD because parents are not discipling their children correctly, if at all. And that is the reason why children can't sit still in school, are easily distracted, etc - because we, as parents, haven't trained them to do so!! Once again, don't get this book if you are looking for answers because you will find none here!
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