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Learning from the Heart: Lessons on Living, Loving, and Listening
 
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Learning from the Heart: Lessons on Living, Loving, and Listening [Paperback]

Daniel Gottlieb (Author)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 1, 2009

In the nearly 30 years since the accident that made this radio personality and columnist a quadriplegic, Dan Gottlieb has developed a finely tuned quality of awareness that most people never achieve. He became an outsider among us—“like a foreign correspondent,” as he puts it—and here, Dan shares his insights into what it means to be human.

Written with humor, honesty, a gift for storytelling, and breathtaking compassion, Learning from the Heart looks at what divides as well as unites us: the problems of family life; difficulties confronting today’s parents; challenges faced by the disabled and the aging; and issues of injustice that affect the way we understand the world and our lives.

 


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Learning from the Heart: Lessons on Living, Loving, and Listening + Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life + The Wisdom of Sam: Observations on Life from an Uncommon Child
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. You have to love a self-help book that extols doing nothing: The truth is, says Gottlieb, if we become comfortable with who we are rather than who we think we should be, then we will be less insecure. As a therapist, Gottlieb frequently sees people who are convinced that changing themselves or their circumstances would lead to happiness. Gottlieb disagrees. A columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer and author of Letters to Sam (addressed to his autistic grandson), Gottlieb also happens to be quadriplegic, which makes him somewhat of an expert in self-acceptance. And while he says his condition has taught him to listen, learn and care deeply, one senses Gottlieb is a born mensch and a man with a big heart. Warm, wise, compassionate, humble and often funny, he displays not a shred of self-pity or false modesty. Best of all, his message has the unmistakable ring of truth to it: love rather than change yourself or anyone else. Trying to change others is about intolerance, which is at the core of so much enmity. We cannot find peace unless we are trying to help others find peace also. (Mar.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Daniel Gottlieb, a practicing psychologist and family therapist, serves as the host of Voices in the Family, an award-winning mental health call-in show on Philadelphia’s much-respected public radio station, WHYY. He is the author of three previous books, including Letters to Sam and Voices in the Family. He lectures locally and nationally on a variety of topics affecting the well-being of people, families, and the larger community.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Sterling; Reprint edition (September 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1402768729
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402768729
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #343,043 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

17 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars What Does it Mean to be Human?, April 22, 2008
Daniel Gottlieb is one of the most compassionate souls I have ever "met." A trained psychologist, Gottlieb was in an accident in 1979 when he was 33 years old and was rendered a quadriplegic. Shortly following his accident, he "began to wonder what it really meant to be human."

What follows are stories and what he learns about himself, friends, family and patients.

Gottlieb began to study how humans (and pets) acted and reacted; their emotions, thoughts and feelings. He discovered that emotions are contagious.

He writes that we ask ourselves: "Who am I?" "Who am I supposed to be?" "Who should I be?"

"How do we find our identity in a world that insists your identity is defined by your achievements, by your beauty, by your power, by your youth?"

Gottlieb implores us to slow down and actually hear and see others and ourselves. He believes as we do more, we hear less--less of what other people are saying and our own voice.

The love Gottlieb feels for humanity is palpable in "Loving from the Heart." He explains that his body, almost 30 years after the accident, is starting to disease and that death could come at any time. But, he is without pity. Instead, his compassion for the human race is so strong and true that I found myself sobbing several times throughout the book.

He talks about our "national anxiety disorder" and offers advice for finding relief.

I loved this: "We are not important as individuals. And everything we say and do counts." Meditate on that one!

This book is a treasure.

By the author of the award winning book, Harmonious Environment: Beautify, Detoxify and Energize Your Life, Your Home and Your Planet.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Lessons in Being Where You Are, May 14, 2008
By 
Tom McGee "Tom" (Springfield, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
This is an enlightening book by a talented writer who touched my heart in his story about what it means to be human.

Like all people this author has suffered, but through his many roles, experiences, losses, and observation of the human condition he has discovered truth and is able to communicate his message in a clear and concise manner. The book discusses living in the moment, accepting what we are experiencing and how we are feeling because life after all is temporary. He tells us about his daughter's 3 legged dog and the lessons we can learn from it. The dog does not consider itself as having special needs. It just behaves like a dog and lives with the assets it has. Acceptance of ourselves just as we are will make us "feel more alive, loving, and compassionate...without categorizing our life events as good or bad, easy or difficult."

In this story Daniel Gottlieb tells us about his experiences as a Therapist, divorcee, quadriplegic, husband of a young cancer victim and father of children dealing with parental medical catastrophes. He coped with the death of his ex-wife and his parents and communicating with his autistic grandchild, as well as, his clients. He learned that what he really wanted was to stop wanting to be or have something that was not possible for him. In spite of his experiences he found peace in his life and helped countless others do the same.

I am impressed with this this author, his book and the fact that he is donating all of his royalties from it to children's health organizations and charities. Reading this book I felt the range of human emotions and have a much better understanding of what it really means to be human from a person with a much different perspective than I have experienced.

I recommend this book to people of all ages and walks of life. You will be glad you read it and will gain a new perspective of life.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars You'll be hooked by the time you read the cover!, June 24, 2008
Daniel Gottlieb's LETTERS TO SAM was one of the best
books that I've read over the past few years . . . so when I
saw that the author came out with something new, LEARNING
FROM THE HEART, I rushed to get hold of it.

And was I ever glad that I did . . . I was hooked after
just seeing the cover and the subtitle: LESSONS ON
LIVING, LOVING AND LISTENING . . . Gottlieb, a practicing
psychologist, presents this information via short
essays on a wide variety of topics . . . best of all,
he brings in his own personal experiences and openly
shares them.

I especially liked his view about not always having to be
best in everything:
* I've ended up feeling a great deal of gratitude for my failures. Of
course, there are people who don't believe me when I tell them
I belong in the last seat in the second row. They challenge my position
by reminding me of books I have written and the many wonderful
accomplishments I've been fortunate to achieve. Over the years I have
learned that there are some aspects of my humanity--perhaps my
kindness and my ability to understand others--that probably belong
in the first row. But there are many other aspects of Gottlieb that belong
in the last row--technical skills, attention span, and
memory (to name a few).

Gottlieb also got me thinking about how good life can be--and is--when
he related this account of a friend's visit:
* I do believe in coincidence, and I was involved in a quite a fortunate one
when my friend Amy came over to visit just two days before that phone call.
At one point, she asked if I believed in heaven. Without giving it any thought,
I said, "Yes. You're in it right now."

I saw the dazed look on her face that I often see when I make proclamations,
so I went on: "What were the chances of that sperm fertilizing that egg and
producing your life? And what were the chances that you would have lived all
the years you have lived in relative good health? And what were the odds that
you would have so many people in your life whom you love and who care
about you? And what were the possibilities that you could look out of almost
any window and see the beauty of nature? Heaven? You bet."

Of course, my version of heaven is not the perfect one we read about in
mythology or that many believe in. There is great pain and suffering and loss
in this particular heaven. But deep inside, most know it-heaven, life-is
precious. It just takes some careful noticing.

Lastly, the author had me laughing when I read passages such as this
one:
* Even trauma like my accident carries good news and bad news. I suffer,
still get frustrated and sometimes depressed, and yet there is good news
about being a quadriplegic.

The good news about being quadriplegic?

Well, first, there is the obvious--great parking spaces.

Then, think shoes. I don't have to spend a fortune on comfortable shoes,
and they last as long as I want them to.

But the great news about quadriplegic is that I don't have to get up to pee in
the middle of the night. So, in the middle of the night tonight, when you are
sitting or standing. I'll be sleeping. (And they say I have special needs!)

On a serious note, this disability has helped me become the man I am. The
image I have carried for nearly thirty years is that when my neck broke, my
soul began to breathe. Because of my differentness, I have not been
intimidated by my need to be like everyone else. I might not have become
the man I am today were it not for this trauma.

After reading LEARNING FROM THE HEART, you'll feel like you know
Daniel Gottlieb much better . . . in fact, in reading it, I thought I was
having a one-on-conversation with him that made me realize that
if I was ever in need of a therapist, I'd certainly want to seek him out.

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