Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men [Paperback]

Daniel Jay Sonkin (Author), Michael, M.D. Durphy (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Starting in the early 1980s, Learning To Live Without Violence: A Handbook For Men set the standard for the treatment of batterers. Now, the new, updated 1997 edition provides techniques and suggestions to hep men in the continuation of their journey away from violence, fear and anxiety. Learning To Live Without Violence is the anger avoidance workbook helping thousands of readers to overcome domestic violence. Learning To Live Without Violence is a compendium of tools and exercises that can be used independently or in the context of a counseling program. -- Midwest Book Review

Product Details

• Paperback: 129 pages
• Publisher: Volcano Pr; Updated edition (July 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1884244165
• ISBN-13: 978-1884244162
• Product Dimensions: 10.6 x 8.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #348,286 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book teaches men how to MANAGE, not avoid, their anger., April 4, 1998

By 

Daniel J. Sonkin "Daniel J Sonkin, Ph.D." (Sausalito, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men (Paperback)

The review of this book states that it is an anger avoidance workbook. On the contrary - we help men learn to get in touch with, manage the intensity of, and communicate their anger (as well as their other feelings) so that their emotions don't overwhelm them and ultimately make them vulnerable to acting aggressive and violent. We hope your readers learn as much from this book as we did from writing it!

5.0 out of 5 stars Userful Tool for ALL people, October 6, 2009

By 

The Infamous Rebelprofiler "Katlin, dahling" (Mesa, AZ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men (Paperback)

Yes. It SAYS "handbook for men". I'm a woman. Yes it SAYS "learning to live without VIOLENCE." I have NEVER allowed a man to hit me and was never in a violent relationship.

I got this book as part of a 6 month anger-management course I took to better myself in 2005. Four years later, the tools discussed in this book have helped me, my best friend in her marriage of 7 years, my now-ex-husband in HIS new relationship, several OTHER friends in anger filled relationships, AND all of my partners. Look, if an abuser is looking for an excuse to abuse, EVERYTHING will offer him an excuse. This book, other books, etc. He will FIND his excuse if he wants to find one. But THIS book is so stellar becuase it makes the one with the anger issues REALLY take control of their anger. A lot of abusers use the cop out "Well I just lose control" and this book REMINDS all anger sufferers that you do not just "lose control". If your boss or some other important person showed up in the middle of a heated fight, the heated fight would stop, PROVING you have CONTROL over your anger in the right circumstances. And this book teaches you to CONTROL your own anger BEFORE you "lose control". I especially like the "Time Out" strategy and the fact that it's talked about EARLY into the book. It's an easy technique to use, it deflates even the WORST of heated arguments, and it MAKES SENSE when you think of the biology of anger and how it takes TIME for the adrenaline to stop pumping.

This book is a must have. I own like 6 copies now and I pass them out to anyone I know who has a volatile relationship.

0 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars its all wrong, August 11, 2008

By 

L. Pierre "robthomas" (Perth, West Aus) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men (Paperback)

ANY book that perpetuates the myth/lie that domestic violence is about anger would be more useful as toilet paper. It does nothing but perpetuate the cycle of violence by making people (the men themselves, their partners, sometimes even counselors) believe they've changed when their actual attitudes, the REASONS for the anger, have not been addressed.