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Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa Kindle Edition

35 customer reviews

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Length: 219 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Melissa Haynes created and orchestrated successful national campaigns for major corporate players, opened and ran a prosperous business in Mexico. Her project management experience landed her a handful of lucrative Olympic contracts for the 2012 Winter Olympics. She ghostwrote a column about entertaining in the Vancouver Courier for years and a chapter in the award-winning chef's cookbook Inside the Recipe Box. She is a self-admitted chronic adventure junkie and travel addict. She is passionate about animals, adventure, conservation and scribbling. But her greatest accomplishment and adventure to date was volunteering in Africa and living to write about it.

Product Details

  • File Size: 666 KB
  • Print Length: 219 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1933016825
  • Publisher: Behler Publications (April 16, 2013)
  • Publication Date: April 16, 2013
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00BAH8RA2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #641,238 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Melissa Haynes: Chronic adventure junkie, conservationist and ink slinger.
They say when we step outside of our comfort zone magic happens and Melissa didn't just step out of her comfort zone; she shot herself out of a human cannon to get as far away from it as possible.
But the real magic happens when we give of ourselves because in giving we receive and we receive beyond our greatest dreams. Combine the two and the results are nothing short of a miracle.
Her debut book, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles is the story of the miracles she experienced in South Africa with an unlikely cast of characters - both two legged and four.
Live with courage or die with regret is one of the many messages in her African adventure memoir, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles.

Playing with a lion's testicles: A South African expression that means to take foolhardy chances.


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

119 of 138 people found the following review helpful By Michael Johnson on August 20, 2013
Format: Paperback
When I was about 9 years old, at the Omaha zoo, I first attempted to play with a lions testicles. It didn't end well ... for me. The lion certainly seemed satisfied, but I was wholly unprepared for this "adventure".

A full 10 years later, and after reading this book in preparation, I returned to the same zoo to finish the job I started. Surprisingly, the same lion was there. Perhaps not surprisingly, he apparently recognized me immediately and was excited to see me again.

This time, I knew how to do the job more productively. The book taught me the "Three Steps To Playing Ball" correctly.

1. Mind you, the lion is a fierce animal, but also fiercely loyal ... so the first step is to establish trust and loyalty. If you can, show the animal (by example) the enjoyment you can have with your own testicle play.

2. You must offer testicle play to the lion. As the king of the jungle, he is often offered testicle play, but since you've established trust (and competence) in step one, he may accept by rolling to his back.

3. Finally, the third step is where you (the testicle player) need to "earn your keep". The book highlights moves such as the "Jungle Juggle" and the "Reverse Double Play" that may surprise and entertain your lion.

In summary, NEVER EVER attempt to play with a Lions Testicles before reading this book.
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Format: Paperback
This book had me in tears, both by laughter and emotional impact... Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa by Melissa Haynes. The title was enough to intrigue me into considering it for reading and reviewing. It didn't take long before I knew it was a great decision.

Haynes went to South Africa to volunteer on a wild game reserve, seeking to find some perspective and purpose in her life. What sounded like an adventure quickly turned into a stubborn contest of wills between her and the park ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, who didn't much care for city volunteers... especially those of the female persuasion. He was determined to send her packing as early as possible into her three-week stint, and she was just as determined to prove herself as something more than a woman who needed babysitting. Along the way, she learned some tough truths about life, death, and self-imposed limitations. While she had gone to help the animals, it ended up being the animals that helped her.

Had the story been nothing more than her experiences on the reserve, it would have been a fun read. Haynes does an excellent job in capturing the humor and bizarreness of life on the plains of Africa. However, there's a serious thread that winds through the pages, one that ties together the lessons of the reserve with the realities of life and death. Her mom had passed away due to cancer, and Haynes was dealing with massive guilt over not being able to handle the final hours. She comes face-to-face with that guilt and fear in a very primal way during her stay, and it's hard to keep a dry eye as the events unfold.

Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles is a 200 page roller-coaster of emotions, and it's a ride that's well worth experiencing. You'll laugh and cry, sometimes both at the same time...

Disclosure:
Obtained From: Publisher
Payment: Free
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Jillian on August 15, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was browsing Amazon for a book to get for a gift for an outdoor loving friend, and I saw this one and knew I had to get it. Well, okay . . . at first I thought "what the heck is that?" but when I read the description it seemed like a great read! My friend absolutely loved it and said she couldn't put it down! It is a mix of pulling-on-the-heart-strings emotions and comedy.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By HNW on April 8, 2013
Format: Paperback
After reading an advanced copy of this book I would highly recommend this book. As an animal lover I thoroughly enjoyed the descriptive nature and healing powers that Melissa received and attributed to the animals she interacted with while volunteering on a wildlife reserve in Africa. It is a touching tale of coming to terms with guilt after losing her Mother, moving forwards, and it includes some great triumphs over life's lessons.
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15 of 19 people found the following review helpful By greggers on September 3, 2013
Format: Paperback
I couldn't put it down. It was like someone was dangling a string in front of my face. I'm ready to pounce on the next book in the series, "What's Up With Lioness Vagina". I look forward to curling up in the sun with Book Three "Lions and Tigers and Bears - Threesomes on the African Veldt".
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By kellypicks on April 8, 2013
Format: Paperback
Love love love this book!!!! Get your tissues handy, you will need them. I laughed, I cried, it made me think, it inspired me and gave me hope. This book has it all!!!! An absolute must read!!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have read an advanced copy and it is excellent! A moving story of coming to terms with guilt over her mother's death and what animals can teach you about life and death. It is paralleled with the adventures of volunteering on a wildlife reserve in Africa. Highly recommend.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Mark Koopmans on December 13, 2013
Format: Paperback
The title is, of course, hilarious, but I found myself laughing out loud as I read some of Melissa's escapades.

Really enjoyed this book - it was an easy read and I now have at least some clue on what it must be like to spend some time away from the touristy parts of South Africa.

Not sure I would want to learn how to play with a lion's testicles, but I will recommend this book to my friends and family :)
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