Lea's Book of Rules for the World [Paperback]

Lea DeLaria (Author), Maggie Cassella (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 2, 2000

Rule #10: Learn all the rules...then break them.

Lea DeLaria has been breaking rules all her life. Now she offers some of her own....

Cross Howard Stern with Sandra Bernhardt, add a one-two punch, and you have stand-up comic Lea DeLaria, who plays to rave reviews on and off the Broadway stage. Now, in this uproarious collection of essays, DeLaria shares her Modern Day Ten Commandments and X-Rated Rules for the World with anyone bold enough to read them.

From fashion advice "Never point at anything beige and call it cool"(Rule #4) to the five myths of ex-girlfriends and the facts about fake breasts, DeLaria offers straight-talking wisdom for a world desperately in need of some raunchy humor. Here Lea shares glimpses of life as a Butch so butch she's mistaken for a man--by her gynecologist. Read all about it as Lea falls hard for the girl of her dreams...reveals how Judy Garland helped her to find her first New York apartment...and gives an appreciation of sex toys that is as outrageous as it is heartfelt. From her promising beginnings as a Nice Italian Catholic girl to her headlined adventures with Nice Italian Catholic girls, among others, here is Lea DeLaria, the stand-up, lay-down, in-your-face comic who tells you everything your mom never wanted you to know.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

If your experience of lesbian comedy begins and ends with Ellen DeGeneres, say hello to Lea DeLaria, a brassy, foul-mouthed butch who, after traveling the queer comedy circuit for years, has begun to land parts everywhere from network TV (on shows such as Friends) to Broadway (playing Hildy in On the Town). Her first book isn't really a list of rules; it's more a loosely organized series of rants. Overflowing with energy and creativity, DeLaria doesn't just curse, talk about sex and criticize the Catholic Church (although she does plenty of that)--she's out to offend everyone. Here DeLaria, who angered straight-laced lesbians and gays at the March on Washington in 1992 by calling Hillary Clinton "a first lady you could fuck," rewrites the Ten Commandments (replacing Though Shalt Not Steal, for example, with Thou Shalt Not Steal from People Who Absolutely Don't Deserve to Be Stolen From); proudly details her passion for "banging" under-age straight girls; and her views on why "wops" and "micks" (her mother and father, for instance) should never marry. Piercingly smart and occasionally self-reflective, DeLaria knows exactly what she's doing; like Lenny Bruce, she uses both her own sensibilities and the criticism her work inevitably provokes to expose the hypocrisy of both straight and gay folks (she even includes an array of reviews and letters she has received over the years). However, while the book showcases DeLaria's enormous comedic talent, it is also filled with so many self-destructive rationalizations (shades of Lenny Bruce again) that it can be downright hard to read. (May)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Stand-up comic DeLaria has succeeded on and off Broadway and on comedy stages throughout America. She is sometimes over-the-top, offensive, and downright insulting and sometimes howlingly funny, unless one is offended or insulted by, say, her modern "Ten Commandments," such as the flip "Thou shalt not take the name of Susan Sarandon in vain," or the list of women who are OK to sleep with because you will never stand sleeping with them, so sleeping with them really isn't adultery. By the way, as for coveting thy neighbor's wife, thou shalt not, DeLaria declares, unless she is really cute or amply endowed or your neighbor is your ex. Besides that and listing every known slang term for female genitalia, this former nice Italian Catholic girl shares glimpses of life as a butch who is so butch she is often mistaken for a man--by her gynecologist! DeLaria lets it be known that if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. Or you can kiss her ass. So be it. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Dell (May 2, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440508541
• ISBN-13: 978-0440508540
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #750,485 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you're easily offended..., May 21, 2000

By 

"lissaontheradio" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lea's Book of Rules for the World (Paperback)

...then STEP RIGHT UP...True to her style, (thank God!) Lea manages to offend people from every walk of life, and it couldn't be funnier. Everybody needs to be poked at, and Lea's just the woman to do it. I found her stream-of-consciousness writing both dizzying and wonderful. Her dialogues with Mary were hysterical, as were her asides, and her short stories - "Mama Mia", and the one with the aliens -both almost killed me. The footnotes alone are worth the price of the book, not to mention her illustrations- they're hilarious. She's witty, sharp as a tack, playfully insightful, tacky, tasteless, dirty... WONDERFUL! Really makes you want to know Lea in everyday life, if you could handle it. Thanks, Lea! Loved it! The only thing that would make this better is hearing Lea read it aloud - BOOKS ON TAPE?

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Lea Rules!, June 11, 2002

By 

Colin Paterson "b-lever" (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lea's Book of Rules for the World (Paperback)

Call it a happy accident of browsing, but I found this book a week or so ago and picked it up and it had me laughing out loud in the book store.

Before and after reading it, I wouldn't categorize myself as a major fan of Lea. But, it was a welcome tonic at the time for me.

Her various remarks are often provocative, crude...call them whatever you like. This woman doesn't mince words.

Yeah, she has an opinion. Shouldn't you?

In a culture where people are so afraid to step on others' toes, it is purely delightful to read comic essays like these.

Maybe more people should see the world like this -- with humor and with a willingness to knock a pedestal out of the way when the thing or person on it doesn't deserve to be there.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Reruns...I hate reruns, December 17, 2001

By 

APIMom1999 "wolfsky" (Memphis, Tn United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lea's Book of Rules for the World (Paperback)

Bsaically this book is a composition of her live shows, which if you have seen, are way funnier live than in print. If you haven't seen her live, or heard one of her CD's then you might be interested, but much of "Leaville" is lost in the translation from live to print. Without the screaming and the faces and the body language it just isn't as funny.