Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships [Paperback]

Ph.D. D.Merilee Clunis (Author), Ph.D. G. Dorsey Green (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1580051316 | ISBN-13: 978-1580051316 | Publication Date: December 21, 2004 | Edition: 4th

Written by two experienced lesbian therapists, Lesbian Couples covers a range of topics—commitment ceremonies and marriage, living arrangements, work, money, togetherness and separate identities, coming out to family and friends, resolving conflict and understanding each other—and uses a variety of helpful examples and problem-solving techniques, drawing from research done on lesbian couples over the past decade. The book pays special attention to differences of race, class, age and physical ability, and addresses the issues raised when one or both partners are recovering from alcohol, substance, or sexual abuse. The book also addresses differences that lesbians may encounter in their relationships regarding such issues as butch-femme, transgender identity, bisexuality, monogamy and sado-masochism. Thoroughly readable and extremely helpful, with an updated resource guide, Lesbian Couples is a book that every lesbian will want to own.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Surely there are couples who don't need books like this: blessed as they are with flawless unions, enduring passion, and equitable chore distributions, with never a sharp word, a demanding ex-lover, or a roving eye. The rest of us can consult Clunis and Green every 45 minutes. With sections on building intimacy, making decisions, communicating, and addressing issues of race and age difference, among other topics, Lesbian Couples at least touches on most of the conflicts that a lesbian couple will face (a list of resources at the back will help readers pursue specific interests). The chapter on conflict resolution is exceptional, but the chapter on sex seems brief and perfunctory by comparison, perhaps because it has been written about so extensively elsewhere. This major revision of a lesbian self-help classic may be illuminating not only for couples but also for single women hoping to build the qualities needed for successful relationships, especially in the wake of a break-up. --Regina Marler --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"My friends are lining up three-deep to borrow it. I suggest they buy it--they'll want to keep it around."

Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Seal Press; 4th edition (December 21, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1580051316
• ISBN-13: 978-1580051316
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #113,463 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #97 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Conflict Management

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Winner of the WordWeaving Award for Excellence, May 27, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships (Paperback)

Women have been socialized to form couples, and, within the lesbian experience strive, for the joy and exhilaration of loving other women. Yet achieving and sustaining intimacy remains a challenge, just as it does with other types of couples. LESBIAN COUPLES targets the natural flow of intimate relationships. From mind reading and making assumptions, to conflict and disillusionment, LESBIAN COUPLES examines the strengths and weaknesses of relationships, flagging potential problem areas and offering real life examples and solutions to the challenges lesbians experience.

Practical chapters include: understanding differences, managing conflict, sex, making decisions, family, children, cross-cultural and cross-race relationships, recovery and healing, disability and chronic illness, and later life. Whether you are beginning a relationship, maintaining a relationship, ending a relationship, or recovering from a relationship, this book offers something for everyone. As a matter of fact, heterosexual couples and gay couples will likewise find a considerable amount of useful information related in an open, nonjudgmental, insightful style.

Dr. D. Merilee Clusis and Dr. G. Dorsey Green bring their own therapuetic and personal experience to the remarkable text, LESBIAN COUPLES. With sensitivity to race, class, physical and mental ability as well as geographical location interacts with chronological age, LESBIAN COUPLES addresses the challenges faced by lesbians seeking to establish committed relationships. While acknowledging the increased acceptance levels exhibited by society, LESBIAN COUPLES takes a long hard look at homophobia, racism and sexism as it affects individual lesbians and couples. While always exhibiting a profound respect for the individuals that create couples, LESBIAN COUPLES encourages self-exploration and self-honesty as individuals attempt to develop healthy and happy relationships. I spent about a month working my way through the book, journaling, and learning to implement many of the skills in the book, and feel that it has transformed my life. A book that must be added to every lesbian's keeper shelf, LESBIAN COUPLES earns the WordWeaving Award for Excellence.

Grace Weaver

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book everyone in a relationship should read, even if you're not a lesbian!, July 29, 2006

By 

Loveajerseyboi - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships (Paperback)

This book's advice has been so wonderful and has definitely helped enrich mine and my partner's relationship. I have even suggested this to some of my strait friends and they have benefitted from it's advice as well. The only advice I disagree on is the whole non-monogamy thing that they offer in part of the book as an option, but that's a personal preferance of mine and I am sure to those who prefer open/multi relationships will find it helpful.

This is a definite MUST READ!

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Lesbian "Bible", May 9, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships (Paperback)

And that's really what this book is--a necessary part of any healthy lesbian relationship. Get it, read it with your partner, try to incorporate its tips into your life, and you will see the difference in your relationship. It covers every aspect of the lesbian relationship from both a personal and a theraputic aspect.