Written by two experienced lesbian therapists, Lesbian Couples covers a range of topics—commitment ceremonies and marriage, living arrangements, work, money, togetherness and separate identities, coming out to family and friends, resolving conflict and understanding each other—and uses a variety of helpful examples and problem-solving techniques, drawing from research done on lesbian couples over the past decade. The book pays special attention to differences of race, class, age and physical ability, and addresses the issues raised when one or both partners are recovering from alcohol, substance, or sexual abuse. The book also addresses differences that lesbians may encounter in their relationships regarding such issues as butch-femme, transgender identity, bisexuality, monogamy and sado-masochism. Thoroughly readable and extremely helpful, with an updated resource guide, Lesbian Couples is a book that every lesbian will want to own.
Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships
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Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Surely there are couples who don't need books like this: blessed as they are with flawless unions, enduring passion, and equitable chore distributions, with never a sharp word, a demanding ex-lover, or a roving eye. The rest of us can consult Clunis and Green every 45 minutes. With sections on building intimacy, making decisions, communicating, and addressing issues of race and age difference, among other topics, Lesbian Couples at least touches on most of the conflicts that a lesbian couple will face (a list of resources at the back will help readers pursue specific interests). The chapter on conflict resolution is exceptional, but the chapter on sex seems brief and perfunctory by comparison, perhaps because it has been written about so extensively elsewhere. This major revision of a lesbian self-help classic may be illuminating not only for couples but also for single women hoping to build the qualities needed for successful relationships, especially in the wake of a break-up. --Regina Marler
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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"My friends are lining up three-deep to borrow it. I suggest they buy it--they'll want to keep it around."
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
31 of 33 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Women have been socialized to form couples, and, within the lesbian experience strive, for the joy and exhilaration of loving other women. Yet achieving and sustaining intimacy remains a challenge, just as it does with other types of couples. LESBIAN COUPLES targets the natural flow of intimate relationships. From mind reading and making assumptions, to conflict and disillusionment, LESBIAN COUPLES examines the strengths and weaknesses of relationships, flagging potential problem areas and offering real life examples and solutions to the challenges lesbians experience.
Practical chapters include: understanding differences, managing conflict, sex, making decisions, family, children, cross-cultural and cross-race relationships, recovery and healing, disability and chronic illness, and later life. Whether you are beginning a relationship, maintaining a relationship, ending a relationship, or recovering from a relationship, this book offers something for everyone. As a matter of fact, heterosexual couples and gay couples will likewise find a considerable amount of useful information related in an open, nonjudgmental, insightful style.
Dr. D. Merilee Clusis and Dr. G. Dorsey Green bring their own therapuetic and personal experience to the remarkable text, LESBIAN COUPLES. With sensitivity to race, class, physical and mental ability as well as geographical location interacts with chronological age, LESBIAN COUPLES addresses the challenges faced by lesbians seeking to establish committed relationships. While acknowledging the increased acceptance levels exhibited by society, LESBIAN COUPLES takes a long hard look at homophobia, racism and sexism as it affects individual lesbians and couples. While always exhibiting a profound respect for the individuals that create couples, LESBIAN COUPLES encourages self-exploration and self-honesty as individuals attempt to develop healthy and happy relationships. I spent about a month working my way through the book, journaling, and learning to implement many of the skills in the book, and feel that it has transformed my life. A book that must be added to every lesbian's keeper shelf, LESBIAN COUPLES earns the WordWeaving Award for Excellence.
Grace Weaver
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book's advice has been so wonderful and has definitely helped enrich mine and my partner's relationship. I have even suggested this to some of my strait friends and they have benefitted from it's advice as well. The only advice I disagree on is the whole non-monogamy thing that they offer in part of the book as an option, but that's a personal preferance of mine and I am sure to those who prefer open/multi relationships will find it helpful.
This is a definite MUST READ!
This is a definite MUST READ!
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
And that's really what this book is--a necessary part of any healthy lesbian relationship. Get it, read it with your partner, try to incorporate its tips into your life, and you will see the difference in your relationship. It covers every aspect of the lesbian relationship from both a personal and a theraputic aspect.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Good basic advice, reminders, and reassurance
A quick, easy, reassuring read that provides general practical advice for thinking about and working through all stages of relationships (including ending a relationship, death of... Read more
Published 17 days ago by SFFic (Jasper L. Doubt)
nice book
If you are looking for a general relationship book, this is the way to go. It has sound communication advice and also brings to light how difficult a lesbian relationship can be. Read more
Published 2 months ago by kate
Great resource!
This book is great! Helpful, practical, and insightful. Pulls relationship research from many different sources and shines their findings in a lesbian light. Read more
Published 12 months ago by redhen
Well...duh
The book is good i will admit but reading it made me feel like i was 5. Most of the stuff is pretty ovious for example: on page 122 of the book under chapter 8, sex, there's a... Read more
Published on June 16, 2009 by R. Miller
Very Helpful
I have had this book for years and I have to say it has help me a lot in learning and now in my new relationship. Its a great base to have the best relationship of your life.
Published on August 4, 2008 by Miami
Enlightening look at lesbian relationships
This book helps seperate the similiarities and differences between lesbian and straight couples. It helps dispel some of the myths and assumptions and helps you look at your own... Read more
Published on May 21, 2007 by Firstcatch
Good read for lesbian couples
This book is very helpful, easy to read, and is up to date on its research and theory. I like the way they draw from other material and make it applicable to lesbians. Read more
Published on January 30, 2001
Inside This Book
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Citations (learn more)
5
books
cite this book:
- The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Children by Ph.D. D.Merilee Clunis on 4 pages
- Coming Out of Cancer: Writings from the Lesbian Cancer Epidemic by Victoria A. Brownworth in Back Matter
- Positively Gay: New Approaches to Gay and Lesbian Life by Betty Berzon on page 91
- The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio in Back Matter
- Lives of Lesbian Elders: Looking Back, Looking Forward (Hayworth Innovations in Feminis03studies) by J Dianne Garner in Front Matter
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