Customer Reviews

Lesbian Epiphanies: Women Coming Out in Later Life

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Karol Jensen managed to communicate and clearly explain the life transformation that I experienced around the same age. I was married for over twenty years when I discovered that I experience my most happiest moments when I was in the company of other women. When I turned 40, I went through a major metomorphisis - realizing that what I truly wanted, my husband was not capable of giving me, and until I read this book, I had feelings of guilt for wanting to be with a woman. But discovering that the signs were there for many years, even as an adolescent, I have finally accepted my self, and I encourage any middle age woman who is struggling with this problem to read this book, and pray, and know that God does not make any mistakes, He wants us to be happy. And if its a woman that will bring that happiness, then don't waste another minute..GO FOR IT!

Lesbian Epiphanies deserves MORE than 5 stars!! The best book out there on understanding WHY some women come out late in life. I being one of them came out in my later years and wondered WHY I missed not coming out earlier. This book from the 25 life studies explains why. It seems we all have [almost] the same or similar stories and making the discovery of being a Lesbian and understanding WHY I was born this way, as I know I was having loved women ALL my life, it just takes a little *push* to finally go over the edge of society's regulations and come out - OUT & PROUD.

Ya all have to read this book, it's a *winner* fo sho!! And for all you *HET* folks, this is a great read if you want to appreciate where we are coming from and where we are going. I found out it is NOT a life style BUT a way of life, a persona, my authentic self. Be proud of WHO YOU ARE and don't hide behind the *mask* of deception.

Contact me if you want. Would love to hear from other Lesbians who have read this book or who are interested in possibly reading it!!

This read like a doctoral treatise; I would like to have had it in plainer, everyday language!

This book is quite educational...but is a STUDY about 24 women. Make sure you realize that before buying it! It is very bogged down with psychology and quoting Erickson and those guys...so be ready to put your thinking cap on for this one. It is not a story...it is a study. Filled with quotes from the 24 women who were RESEARCHED. As long as you know that...then go for it.

.....because 'Lesbian EPIPHANIES' clearly states what this wonderful book sets out to do. (I'm a bit touchy about reviewers faulting the books they review when the title and chapter descriptions are available. If you're looking for a 'HOW TO leave your husband' text, might I suggest "From Wedded Wife to Lesbian Life" )

I agree with the reviewer who wrote that she no longer feels she is 'alone'.

This book's entitled...." Coming Out in Later Life" and it's an important emphasis. I grew up in the 60's/70's and my own epiphany while reading this was, "WOW, back then I really never knew I had any CHOICE!" I didn't let myself fall in love with women because, well, just BECAUSE! It might make little sense to my children's generation in light of LGBT awareness these days.
If you have any questions/ ambiguities, I'm sure delving into the thoughts, fears, and experiences of 24 'peers' can address at least one of them. And really, for me that could have been enough, but I also found a shared voice and objectivity during a time when I felt crazy and confused.

I would have liked more information about the "process" these women took to leave their lives with husbands, to fully become "lesbian". Otherwise the book was smart with the questions and answers from those interviewed. It would seem all the women interviewed always knew their orientation, but didn't act upon it. I was looking for a good "process" book for female clients in their early stages of "coming out".
A three star rating. from Judy, Family Therapist

Would recommend seller, but not book if you thought it was going to be a story, as it is all from the doctor's point of view.

Judging from the title, you would expect this book to be about all kinds of women (including singles) who have lesbian epiphanies in later life. The book is overfocused on married (or formerly married)women to the exclusion of single-never-marrieds. This approach biases the general discussion as well as the handling of research findings. A big disappointment.

Karol L. Jensen, MPH, PhD
Lesbian Epiphanies:
Women Coming Out in Later Life

(Binghamton, NY: Haworth, 1999) 228 pages
(ISBN: 1-56023-963-8; hardcover)
(ISBN: 1-56023-964-6; paperback)
(Library of Congress call number: HQ75.6.U52M555 1999)

Based on interviews with 24 women from the American midwest
who discovered that they were lesbian or bisexual
after living several years as heterosexuals,
getting married (some twice), and having children.
The author's personal history is the same.
This book will mainly be helpful to other women
who 'discover' lesbian responses later in life.

It is not a book of sexological theory;
it makes almost no attempt to explain
why some women are lesbian or bisexual and others are not.

Generally the subjects grew up assuming they would marry.
Most knew little or nothing about lesbianism before they married.
Some report (in retrospect) adolescent experiences with other girls,
but all turned away from such inclinations
because they believed such feelings were 'wrong'.

Almost all report typical problems with being married:
being dependent on their husbands;
lack of communication in their marriages;
their husbands being mainly interested in sex;
being overburdened with taking care of the children;
feeling cut off from other relationships.
Many divorced their husbands
before they started relationship with other women.
Almost all report leaving their marriages was a liberating experience,
a step toward truly becoming themselves.

The subjects grew up with almost no information about lesbianism.
Now that homosexuality is a subject discussed in public school,
fewer females who have lesbian sexual fantasies imprinted in their brains
will find themselves automatically entering marriage
just because all women must get married
as a part of growing up.

All of the subjects report coming out as lesbians or bisexuals
as a discovery of something deep within themselves
rather than as a change in their imprinted sexual fantasies.
In retrospect (from the perspective of their new lives as lesbians),
all report that they were lesbian or bisexual thru-out their adult lives.
But it often took them several years to acknowledge this truth
to themselves and to their families.

One obstacle to coming out, according to the author,
was the lack of positive role-models of lesbian women.
Without the concept of lesbianism,
they automatically dated boys, got married, & had children.
Then, thru a variety of pathways, each had an epiphany,
in which she discovered that marriage to a man was all wrong for her
and that her deepest passion was for other women.

Women who are thinking they might be going thru a similar story
will find much support from the stories of these 24 other women.
But readers looking for an explanation of lesbianism
will have to look elsewhere.

If you would like to explore other such books,
search the Internet for the following bibliography:
"Best Books on Sexual Orientation".

James Leonard Park, author of
Imprinted Sexual Fantasies: A New Key for Sexology.