The Lesbian Love Companion : How to Survive Everything From Heartthrob to Heartbreak [Paperback]

Marny Hall (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 7, 1998

In The Lesbian Love Companion, Marny Hall, Ph.D., a psychotherapist with twenty years' experience counseling lesbian couples, explores and celebrates lesbian relationships in all their complexity - and humor. Based on the idea that the key to healthy relationships lies in our ability to keep refining the story of our relationships, it presents the perfect blend of advice and inspiration for every lesbian looking for love. Interspersing real-life examples from Hall's practice, sound advice, and laugh-out-loud observations, The Lesbian Love Companion takes a completely fresh and honest approach to the unique relationship issues near and dear to every lesbian's heart.

"Witty, perceptive, and wise"

- Karla Jay, editor of Dyke Life and Lesbian Erotics

" A delightfully practical and funny guidebook to exploring life after love . No coy language and no judgmental presumptions help us say yes to the relationships we want. When you go shopping for the next commitment ceremony, The Lesbian Love Companion is the perfect gift"

- Jewelle Gomez, author of The Gilda Stories

A wonderful book helping lesbians define our relationships on our terms--making a successful breakup as worthwhile as our commitments."

- Suzanne Westenhoefer, lesbian comedienne

"With dozens of real-life examples, [this] highly creative guide to everyday relationship pitfalls is a veritable Kama Sutra of emotional possibility."

- Alison Bechdel, creator of Dykes to Watch Out For

"[A] lively, smart, funny, and fun-to-read book that challenges our fairy tale notions that we will find one Ms. Right and settle down forever in undisturbed bliss. Hall...offers wise advice about how to keep one's sanity through the ins-and-outs of all these discombobulating and destabilizing experiences."

- Lillian Faderman, author of Odd Girls and Twilight Loversand Surpassing the Love of Men

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Hall uses anecdotal and personal accounts of breakups, distancing and other lesser breakups, revitalizations, and splits, all to shed some measure of light and hope on the slippery slopes of relationships. Her central theme is that lesbians must reexamine the forever-after notion of romantic love and reinvent the way they tell tales of personal interactions. She claims it is not a specific act or a series of behaviors that ends relationships; it is the compromised storytelling ability of the partners. By renaming in the tale-telling, lesbians arrive at new levels of understanding and accommodation. Although the relabeling and repackaging of old woes that Hall proposes may seem to be rationalization, it may be of value, especially in the psychotherapeutic professions, though it has something of the short-term quick fix about it (an advantage in the era of managed care?). Interestingly enough, the humorous illustrations in a book for lesbians by a lesbian have been drawn by a man. Whitney Scott

Review

"Hall uses anecdotal and personal accounts of breakups, distancing and other lesser breakups, revitalizations, and splits, all to shed some measure of light and hope on the slippery slopes of relationships. Her central theme is that lesbians must reexamine the forever-after notion of romantic love and reinvent the way they tell tales of personal interactions. She claims it is not a specific act ora series of behaviors that ends relationships; it is the compromised storytelling ability of the partners. By renaming in the tale-telling, lesbians arrive at new levels of understanding and accommodation. Although the re-labeling and repackaging of old woes that Hall proposes may seem to be rationalization, it may be of value, especially in the psychotherapeutic professions, though it has something of the short-term quick fix about it (an advantage in the era of managed care?). Interestingly enough, the humorous illustrations in a book for lesbians by a lesbian have been drawn by a man." -- Booklist

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne; 1st edition (April 7, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062514318
• ISBN-13: 978-0062514318
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 2.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,093,189 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Completely Misleading, Disappointing, Depressing, July 8, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: The Lesbian Love Companion : How to Survive Everything From Heartthrob to Heartbreak (Paperback)

I grabbed this book impulsively because it claimed to be a guide to lesbian heartbreaks. I've almost read the entire thing and have not seen much advice on how to deal with or understand the unique nature of lesbian love gone bad.

The other unrelated "advice" seems to address a forty-something, old school dyke perspective. Very out of date! And the pervasive notion that lesbians have to abandon the one person, ongoing relationship ideal (that every heterosexual I know embraces and takes as their birthright) and put up with some odd, one-off compromise, like learning to live with infidelity (!), actually engaging in threesomes as a way to enhance and "keep" a relationship makes me beyond depressed.

I am angry that this so-called expert suggests that we must resign to some other set of circumstances to be happy and "happily ever after" is just a myth. Her ideas are gross. I am substantially worse off for having read this book.

If you want to cheer up after a lesbian break-up, DON'T read this book!

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A hilarious guide to the vagaries of lesbian relationships., March 27, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: The Lesbian Love Companion : How to Survive Everything From Heartthrob to Heartbreak (Paperback)

This is a smart and engrossing guide to the ups and downs of lesbian love. Hall shows us how to survive by refining and retelling the stories of our relationships. Her experience as a couples therapist serves her well. I loved her beautifully crafted prose and clever puns. There is nothing corny or judgmental here. It's just fresh. I really couldn't put it down. A definite all-nighter--you don't have to be a lesbian to enjoy this book!

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars don't waste your time, January 14, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Lesbian Love Companion : How to Survive Everything From Heartthrob to Heartbreak (Paperback)

This book was given to me by a friend to read as an example of a good self-help book. It purports to be a guide to "how to survive everything from heartthrob to heartbreak", but I read the whole thing without getting any useful information. I gave this book its one star because of the personal stories, which I found to be relate-able, but there was no real "advice" here, just the author's pet thesis, which I found not only less than helpful, but also relatively patronizing. A much more helpful book (and funnier too) is So You Want to be a Lesbian? by Liz Tracey and Sydney Pokorny. While it was written tongue-in-cheek, it offers 100% more advice on hooking up and surviving a broken heart than Hall's. I am really glad I didn't spend the money on this book.