Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men: What Every Man Wants to Know About Making Love to a Woman and Never Asks [Paperback]

Jamie Goddard (Author), Kurt Brungardt (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 2000

This frank, frolicsome, and wonderfully illuminating book draws on the sexual advice and sex secrets of lesbians to help men become better lovers.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The aim of Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men is to teach men what lesbians know about pleasing women. This is more than a primer on body parts and oral sex (though yes, there's plenty of that). It's also about how to talk (the best way to find out what your partner likes), how to listen, how to open up, and how to get your mind off your member. The chapter entitled "Foreplay? Honey, It's All Play!" should make women cheer. The writing is clever, graphic, intimate, and festive. No subject is off limits: sex toys, sex during menstruation ("When the Moon Is Between Her Legs"), "Finger Love (Becoming a Digital Master)," "The Lowdown on Going Down," anal play ("Ass-istance for Two"), and much more.

In many short quotes, women frankly discuss their likes and dislikes. Notes of special importance, titled "Honey, Come Closer," include:

• "Quit thinking of the clitoris as a little pea-sized bump.... It is actually a whole system of erectile tissue, spongy tissue, muscles, nerve endings, blood vessels, and glands."
  
• "By taking your time, not only do you create steamy anticipation in your partner; you also get to check out the territory and get a good sense of where everything is so there is no clumsy fumbling."
  
• "A steady hand is worth a thousand orgasms."
  

If men understood what great sexual tools their brains, mouths, and hands were, say the authors, they'd see sex and pleasure differently and communicate in new ways. This book is guidebook and roadmap--and very entertaining besides! (Warning: If you're offended by slang terms for sex and sexual parts, this book isn't for you.) --Joan Price

From Library Journal

Reversing the formula of Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman's Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man (HarperCollins, 1997), Goddard and Brungardt do the job even better. Let's face it: straight men find lesbianism intriguing, and this extremely helpful manual will appeal to their erotic curiosity as well as their desire to please women partners. Goddard, a sexuality educator, and Brungardt, a health journalist, tackle the basics of female sexual response, kissing, breast play, "finger love" and "hand love," oral sex, and "ins and outs"--plus sex toys, S & M, body-image issues, birth control, and sexual abuse. The book is well written, comprehensive, and lighthearted, incorporating good advice about communication and safer sex. Unfortunately, there are no illustrations to help with geography "down there" or with sexual techniques. Felice Newman's The Whole Lesbian Sex Book (LJ 1/00) is similarly recommended for men and larger public libraries.
-Martha Cornog, Philadelphia, PA
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Plume (May 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452281334
• ISBN-13: 978-0452281332
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #291,224 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

69 of 73 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book will enrich your life!, November 22, 2002

By 

danw (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men: What Every Man Wants to Know About Making Love to a Woman and Never Asks (Paperback)

Based on the rather Howard Stern-esque sounding title of this book I wasn't expecting too much. In fact I got it via inter-library loan as much as anything to check out the element of chastisement referred to by one reviewer below - do all woman-centered books need to do this I wondered? Anyway, before I had gotten even half way through it, I went ahead and ordered a copy from Amazon.com for my collection - it's that good. There are those who will say there are no secrets, it's all been said before, save your money, blah, blah blah. But what this book does, and very well I might add, is to promote a very respectful, partner-honoring mentality, mixed in with alot of honest upfront information on what works and what doesn't for many women. Yet it's not all strictly sexual (ie - genitally focused) so if you are looking for the magic button to get her motor running without fail you may be dissappointed. And I think it may be hard to take some of the information positively if you are not at least part way to realizing it on your own - stuff about how a prized part of your anatomy is a distant 4th on the list of your pleasure-giving assets. And I think this may well explain the rather mixed reviews the book is getting. But to be fair I don't think the chastisement, if that is what you want to call it, is particularly shrill. In every case the authors allow that "not all men believe 'X' or are like 'Y' and for some of you this may just be a review ...", so unless you really can't stomach the message, the delivery seems pretty tame and male friendly throughout (say in comparison to something like Rebecca Chalker's "Clitoral Truth").

Bottomline is this book is really quite good, much better than some of the negative reviews here indicate, and better than the cheesy title might suggest. While it is rather chatty and breezey in style it is literally dense with the sort of authentic information about women's sexuality that few men ever clearly receive. In the end what these authors promote amounts to nothing less than a radical rewrite of the model of heterosexual sexuality, one in which pleasure for the female partner isn't just faked or vicarious, and one unfortunately that has been a long time in coming (or coming back if you believe the goddess worshippers). Many other books have attempted to boil it all down to a few handy tricks, yet maybe that boiling down is exactly the problem. If there is a key message here it is this, "Hey guys, never forget that there is a woman attached to those genitals!" And if you can manage that (and still feel like having sex with her), then you are well on your way to a good thing. This book, as Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets" says, makes me want to be a better man. And maybe that is the single best thing you can bring to a relationship - the genuine desire to connect and make your partner happy, whether it be with a relaxing massage or a wild night of swinging-from-the-chandelier passion. I heartily recommend this book to any man open to rethinking the cultural scripts around heterosexual love-play. Doing what it takes to truly let her feel like a woman, shouldn't make you any less of a man, even though alot of our cultural baggage seems to say just that.

114 of 129 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to Save your Relationship, May 9, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men: What Every Man Wants to Know About Making Love to a Woman and Never Asks (Paperback)

Lesbian Sex Secrets For Men, by J. Goddard and K. Brungardt, is an amzing work that has already aided my relationship! I had heard that the book was coming out in May and I thought it might be good for me as well as my male partner. So, last week I bought the book and found it to be the best thing since sex therapy! I only introduced it to my partner three days ago, but so far, so good. I think this book is particularly strong due to its detailed instructions. It provides exact information in a no nonsense manner while also being sensitive to people's ideas about sex. My partner thought he would be okay with reading it because a male wrote it as well as a woman. The book gives a new view of how people in relationships need to talk. I am writing this even though I still have to read the last two chapters, but I feel very confident in telling all of my friends about it. More than anything, I want to tell people that although the content may seem racy, it is about time we got a book that is direct and honest. The stories of the women and men in the surveys are the book's best asset. Hearing people with familiar problems is a great comfort. So, in conclusion I would say this is the sex book of the 21rst century. Move over "The Joy of Sex"!

38 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For every man who loves his partner, July 7, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men: What Every Man Wants to Know About Making Love to a Woman and Never Asks (Paperback)

This is the book you have been waiting for. If you want to improve your communication, lovemaking techniques, or even move into some "kinkier" sex play, buy this book. If for no other reason than to talk about and share this information with your partner. It's fun, educational, and often a very arousing book to read. Especially if you have someone special in mind.