Customer Reviews

Lesbians Raising Sons

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Lesbians Raising Sons was a wonderful collection of stories, fears, funny moments, and discoveries. The women featured in this book draw a thought provoking picture of all that concerns society and themselves relative to the impact lesbian feminism on the development of a male child. From Jess Wells own fears and concerns when discovering that she was indeed going to be the mother of a "man", to Ellen Grabiner marvelling at her son's innate "boy-ness" compared to the inbred "girl-ness" of her nieces all issues, both society's and the mother's own, are touched on. Do boys naturally take on weapons, computer games and a hate of housework with their quota of testosterone? Grabiner questions whether she'd have been as open to a girl child wanting to wear ribbons and makeup as she was for her son to do the same. Is this internalized misogyny?

In each mother's story, one overriding characteristic is achingly clear; they want to raise a happy, healthy child who is comfortable being who they are; a child who is accepted and valued by society for being themselves. Isn't this what all mothers want for their children? In reality, Lesbians Raising Sons is a book about women who want to be good mothers. It is a book about women trying to do what is right in a society that does not always support them in their efforts. Read it and applaud all women who accept the challenge of raising decent, contributing members of our world!

reviewed by Dorsie L. Hathaway

Lesbians Raising Sons is a fresh and timely look at parenting, with something to offer everyone contemplating life in a a family way. This collection is not just about lesbians, and not just about sons. It's about parenting as an ongoing act of love, connection, and creativity. Themes encompass extended family, freedom to choose gender presentation, dealing with homophobia, and lesbians loving the men their sons will become.

Author Jenifer Levin describes in chilling detail how she and her partner journeyed to Cambodia to adopt Makara, a child abandoned in the aftermath of a modern Holocaust. Another contributor, in a brilliant and touching essay, describes her family's struggle to make the world large enough to embrace and nurture a transgendered child. The children of lesbians cross many borders with their mothers.

Issues facing lesbian moms and their kids include legislation directed at restricting civil rights, the right to retain custody, to obtain alternative fertilization services, to name LGBT* families. Universal issues that all parents share: becoming, and finding, role models; hopes and sometimes worries for children in school; hope that we're raising them with values that will serve them well as they journey out into the world.

I very much enjoyed this collection; my only criticism is the lengthy foreword. Jess Wells' name is traditionally associated with fiction, but Lesbians Raising Sons compares very favorably with other recent books on LGBT* parenting. This collection, surely a labor of love, reflects tremendous range and diversity, and should be appreciated by everyone with an interest in exploring the meaning of the word "family".