Customer Reviews

Lessons From A Caregiver: Caring for an Elder with Love and Compassion

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Most people enter the role of caregiver out of necessity rather than desire. Being thrown into an elderly person's life headfirst isn't easy for the caregiver or the patient.

Laurel "Bru" Wicks, who has been taking care of elderly clients for almost a decade, has written a primer for those overwhelmed by their new role. Lessons from a Caregiver would also be good reading for anyone who can see a caregiving role in their future, or who hires out the care of a family member. Oh, heck, it's interesting information for almost anyone.

Wicks, 61, came into caregiving "through the kitchen door," as she says in the introduction to her lovely book. She was hired to prepare meals for someone, but gradually took on a larger role of nurturing until she was in charge of every aspect of the person's household and personal care.

She wrote the book because nothing like it was available, Wicks said.

"It was really amazing how doctors or the oncology department seemed to send inquiries my way," Wicks said. "When I looked at other books that had to do with elder care,there was a lot of medical advice, big thick tomes, but there wasn't a straightforward, simple, accesible book (read: small and cheap), an avenue that says `You can do this.'"

Chapters detail living in another person's household, safety, doctors and finances, activities, personal care, nutrition (complete with Wicks' simple recipes), caring for yourself as well, accepting the process of death, carrying out final wishes and the future of elder care. There's even an addendum of additional resources.

"It pretty much shows people how to be an advocate," Wicks said. "It brings up possibilities, helps put people's panic level down."

The book is written in Wicks' familiar, easygoing style. One of the best parts about it are the anecdotes that accompany each chapter, giving creative solutions to typical quandaries. One demented elderly man couldn't be kept from chanting "I want to go home." So his caregivers packed him a bag, took him on a drive, and when he asked where they were going, they said "Home," of course. The solution lasted a few weeks before requiring repetition.
((This review originally appeared in the Jackson Hole News&Guide.))

While I've not yet found myself in the role of caregiver, this book has already helped alleviate fears of when that day may come. With compassion and wit, Wicks reminds us that focus and presence is key in all human relationships, not just with elders, and gives suggestions that can be easily incorporated into regular routines. I recommend this book to anyone involved in the care of an elder and especially to those who have been frightened or confused by the prospect.

LESSONS FROM A CAREGIVER is not solely for elder care. Whether it is an ailing child, spouse, or friend; we can all learn from the many valuable tools & tips in Wicks' fine book. Her practicality and sensitivity walk hand in hand. Her writing style makes this book a joy to read versus text book drudgery. I found it not only a pleasure to read but also full of important details in caring for anyone. Including oneself! It's sweet and gentle, just as a good caregiver would be. The more people that read this book, the better -- for us to help others & for others to help us when our time comes.

This is a lovely book, enjoyable to read and full of heartfelt, useful advice that will
come in handy for just about everyone at some point in their life.
My ten-year-old daughter likes reading it, too.

This is an astoundlingly good and useful book. It is not only an entertaining how-to book ("Navigating discussions with an insurance company is an excellent time to do visualization. Picture it easy. Picture success. . . ."), it also communicates the warmth that results from a close relationship with an older person, as well as the respect Ms. Wicks seems to feel for those she has cared for. It conveys the nobility of being a caregiver, not with syrup, but with honesty and an open heart.
My medical practice and academic career has been mostly about elderly women. Ms. Wicks has nailed it! She has gotten everything right. Her explanations and advice are simple and easy to absorb. She addresses all the simple things that make life for a frail older person go well, or progress to disaster when they're done poorly. It is written for non-medical people, but would be just as useful for medical personnel, for insight into the real lives of elders at home.
Karen L. Miller, M.D.

"Lessons from a Caregiver" is a comforting book filled with hints and tips on making caring for an elder easier to handle. What I liked most about this book was that it covers many details other books fail to mention. Like Laurel A. Wicks recommends that you keep a log book. I thought this was very helpful especially when many people are involved in the care. Some of the other topics she addresses include:

Keeping a Calendar of important events
Caring for Pets
Making the house safe - especially bathrooms
Using personal alarm devices
Learning about medications
Creating personal routines
Planning nutritious meals
Hospice Care
Respecting the elder's wishes

When my grandmother was sick after a heart attack we made up a chart for all her medications. It is amazing how many medications elders have to take and it can be confusing without some sort of organization.

This book is practical and helpful and I can recommend it to anyone involved in caring for an elder, whether at home or in a hospital.

~The Rebecca Review

I wish I had had this book when my father was still alive. It would have made life so much easier for our whole family. From choosing delectable foods to emergency preparedness, from playing Mahjong to carrying out last wishes, from practical tips to giving caregivers permission to be creative and/or muddle through as best we can: Wicks covers the gamut with wit and wisdom. Extremely informative and extremely reassuring.