Customer Reviews

Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer (And One BigOne I Did)

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

Have you received a breast cancer diagnosis? Got a friend who has? Before you make another move, read this funny and truthful lowdown from Shelley Lewis, whose emotional viewpoint matches mine so precisely I can't shake the feeling that I should've written it myself (after all, I went through this a year before she did). Unlike just about every other book on the breast cancer "experience," with its pretty pink cover and its crapola about how dealing with breast cancer will make you a "better person" (just like it supposedly made its author!), Lewis gets down to the real nitty-gritty. Namely: Breast cancer, at least for some people, isn't a "spiritual growth program," a "journey" or a "gift." It's not the ultimate opportunity for the perfect boob makeover. It's not necessarily going to turn you into Lance Armstrong and an inspiration to everyone. It's just a DISEASE--a scary, upsetting DISEASE that makes you hope you can get through the treatment so you can get back to your life--if at all possible.

Lewis tells you the truth about breast cancer: it's OK to feel however you do, optimistic or lousy. That you didn't get this disease because somehow you asked for it (and if someone implies you did, you can cheerfully tell them where to stick it). That having a bad or negative attitude or feeling depressed on occasion is perfectly normal, and it won't kill you. That whatever decisions you make about how to deal with your disease are OK, so long as you are the one driving the bus--even if that means putting yourself in the hands of a team of physicians you utterly trust and doing whatever they say. There are no do's-and-don'ts here about chemo, radiation, hair loss, breast reconstruction, anything--the message here is that each person's situation is unique, and each choice is uniquely one's own. You get to pick what's right for you, even if it's not right for anyone else. The book also offers useful advice as to how to support people with breast cancer, and how people with breast cancer can ask for the kind of support they need.

There's also a little critical time spent on examining the whole "pinkapalooza" phenomenon and how breast cancer became the ultimate poster-child of "cause marketing," following in the footsteps of the AIDS red-ribbon movement. Lewis looks a bit more kindly on this than I do--I would happily dump "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" any day, if all it means is people buying a container of yogurt and thinking they've done something noble. But she at least points out that it's wise to question where the profits from "pink-ribbon products" truly go, and aims some well-deserved snark at the multitude of Web sites out there peddling breast cancer teddy bears, angels and fairies, essentially saying that if that stuff makes you want to barf worse than any chemo could, it's OK.

One caution: This book best applies to those whose prognosis is fairly good, who are just going to have to deal with a lot of misery before getting out of the woods. If you have breast cancer and your prognosis is poor, you may want to have a friend read this first and decide whether or not it's right for you or which parts of it you may find helpful, and you may find another voice more supportive and comforting than Lewis's. But if it's looking as if you'll be OK if you just follow a reasonable-if-hellish program of treatment (you get to decide what's reasonable), this book is for you, and belongs on your shelf next to DR. SUSAN LOVE'S BREAST BOOK and Suzanne Strempek Shea's excellent SONGS FOR A LEAD-LINED ROOM.

Part memoir, part how-to book, "The Five Lessons I Didn't Learn from Breast Cancer" has universal appeal for all sorts of cancers, even the "non-female" kind like my non Hodgkin's lymphoma. Though there are plenty of how-to tips for newly diagnosed breast cancer patients, I enjoyed this book because of Lewis' take on the "Tyranny of Positive Thinking" and the pinkapalooza cartel. I respect her choice not to call herself a "survivor," though I wonder if it's really because, as she says, Death wasn't at her door, but rather sent her a "Thinking of You Card." (For me, Death had pulled into the driveway and parked the car.) Never whiny and often downright funny, this book is a must-read for anyone who has been sucker punched by cancer.

Being a 3 time breast cancer repeat offender, this book rang more true than any of the others I have read. I was beginning to feel guilty about not having a spiritual experience until I read this book. Also I was getting quite peeved about "the race" because they don't interview people with multiple occurences. They only show happy, happy, happy faces of those with 1 occurence. What are we, chopped liver?
This book has made me rethink my advice to first time offenders. It is certainly the most honest book I have read about this awful disease. I highly recommend it to any breast cancer patient or family member of patient.

This is a wonderful book, an intelligent and deeply personal account of one woman's experience with breast cancer. At times poignant, at times laugh-out-loud funny, Shelley Lewis does not hold back in describing her journey from diagnosis to treatment to recovery. With a sharp and cynical eye, she pokes a thousand holes in the breast-cancer-as-essential-on-the-path-to-true-enlightenment script put forward by scribes who would have you believe that breast cancer is a gratifying experience, (chicken soup for the soul, if you will), without which you will never find the true meaning of life.

Shelley also takes on the cause awareness industry that reaps the benefits of breast cancer awareness, (Pink Ribbon Barbie anyone?) and challenges the medical industry and our government to work harder to isolate the causes of breast cancer and to better treat the disease once it's found.

This book is recommended reading for friends and family of women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. It will give you great insight in to the best ways to be most helpful while the one you love is going through this cancer.

Most of all, for any woman who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and is overwhelmed by the choices that need to be made, bewildered too, and maybe just a little out of sync with the breast-cancer-will-change-you-make-you-a-better-person crowd, when you are quite sure you were a pretty fine person all along, this book is most certainly for you.

My sister had breast cancer, so I often look for books that might be of interest to her (or me.) When I saw this title I was intrigued, but more so when I noticed the author. Having read and loved Lewis's first book (Naked Republicans) I could not imagine how someone with her irreverent sense of humor would handle a serious topic like breast cancer. I should have known...she handles it in much the same way! Yes, it is a serious topic but as she points out it doesn't change who you are as a person. From what I can tell after reading her two books, it didn't change her at all. It is very funny, but deals with serious issues intelligently and thoughtfully. I especially liked the emphasis on advocacy and research. If you have breast cancer this will give you a different perspective than most of the books out there. If you know someone with breast cancer, especially someone recently diagnosed, buy this book for them. Read it first though, because it will help you be a better and more supportive friend.

Last year, my husband was diagnosed with an incurable cancer at just 35 years of age. As we went through this devastating ordeal, the last thing we wanted to read about was how we should be having some great epiphany. I can assure you that cancer is not the best thing that ever happened to our family, nor did it make us better people. I often felt guilty for the sort of resentment I felt towards the cancer hype portrayed in the media. That is, until I read Ms. Lewis' book and discovered that I wasn't the only one with this reaction. How liberating to read thoughts, which mirrored my own, within those pages!

When I first found this book on Amazon, I read the synopsis and excerpts to my husband. We were both in tears from hysterical laughter! I anxiously awaited the book and immediately dove into the pages when it arrived. I read most of it aloud to my husband, who laughed along with me, giving us a much needed therapeutic break. As my husband and I further discussed excerpts, I learned details about his perspective, about which I had never thought. I was able to see I had unknowingly been insensitive in certain instances. This book served as a wonderful catalyst for discussion.

Ms. Lewis states her case clearly and adeptly. The writing is exceptional, and the read is easy and light. As a writer myself, this book served as a wonderful source of inspiration. It certainly tops my list of favorites!

I want to thank Ms. Lewis for having the guts to be honest about this very sensitive topic. There is an immense amount of pressure on patients, "survivors", and caregivers to "sugar-coat" the realities of cancer. In my opinion, her candid approach is much more therapeutic and helpful in the end. I encourage anyone going through a cancer experience to read this book. It is a valuable resource for patients, caregivers, family, and friends.

This was among the first 3 books I read (all at once) after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I laughed out loud more times reading this book than I usually do during comedy entertainment! Laughed through my tears, literally. Lewis is a bright woman who writes well and has a sarcastic sense of humor. Of course, humor about breast cancer has to have a dark aspect. The book is informative if you don't know much about the process of wending your way through breast cancer treatment, though it is mostly a personal narrative. It touches on many personal issues of breast cancer. It was a relief to see that one can be a survivor even if one doesn't want to become the local poster girl for breast cancer and even if one doesn't feel that cancer is the road to becoming a better person. Lewis just wanted her life back. She might not admit it, but she did learn some life lessons along the way, which she passes on to her readers. My current favorite quote from the book is her statement that with a breast cancer diagnosis, you lose your place among the "temporarily immortal". The book has a good mix of strength and sensitivity. Humor? I looked for a specific quote to make readers of this review laugh, and I did laugh while searching; but I think it's best to sit down and read the book. You'll laugh and you'll learn, and you'll be inspired, too.

Is it possible to be this sardonic and compassionate at the same time?
Shelley Lewis opens the windows in the stuffy room of bumper sticker spirituality. Funny and caring in a Nora Ephron way and yet full of useful info. I read it as a story, not as a way to face breast cancer, and I recommend it to doctors and patients. You don't have to have breast cancer to enjoy this book. Another book I recommend to anyone facing a "devastating diagnosis" is Jessie Gruman's Aftershock.

Thanks you Shelly for letting me know that I am not alone!
I am in the middle of my chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer and I WAS feeling lousy for not finding the "silver lining" and not experiencing the upliftling life changing moment I was supposed to get from having cancer.
She really gave me alot to think about, namely that its ok to have my own experience and it's ok if it really sucks.
Thanks for writing this book Shelly!

This was just exactly what I needed, as Stage 1. I am constantly quoting, complete validation of how I feel, and so true- this book may have saved my life, or rather given me the courage to stand up for myself to save my own life.
Lemme add, you don't have to be tattooed at radiation. And there's the OncotypeDX test now.
The other reviews were great, I just had to get another 5 stars on here. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this book.
I ain't on no frikin journey. Wasn't that a band in the 70s? :D