There are many lessons I am still learning from those dying patients who have become my instructors in living. I am indebted to these wonderful dying persons-patients who are no longer in this world for allowing me to share their journey to their new beginning, at the end of their Valley of the Shadow of Death.
The very first lesson I learned as a hospice chaplain was that I was the student and my patients and caregivers were the instructors. They have taught me the importance of facing my own dark shadows of death . I have learned from those shadows the importance of culture values. I learned the importance of my life's work.
When I listened to their stories of personal relationships, I learned the importance of my own relationships within this dying world. My relationships with the dying also taught me the importance of spiritual and religious values. I also was taught the importance of accepting the responsibility of being a caregiver to both the dying and the living. It is because of these lessons in my life that I am indebted to those patients, caregivers, as well as other family members and friends that have allowed me to walk with them in their Valley of the Shadow of Death.
Some of the lessons I have learned will be obvious to most readers, and some of the lessons I attempted to point out. I divided the book into six learning division or chapters. The reader will readily see that many of the lessons overlap from chapter to chapter. For instance, Chapter VI, on caregivers, emphasizes the difficulty some caregivers have with their patients and the problem I as their counselor/ chaplain was having in trying to help the caregiver while at the same time trying to meet the patients needs. They were at times when such needs were at odds with each other.
One of the greatest lessons I learned from working with both patient and caregiver is primary throughout the other five chapters. That is, anyone who desires to walk with the dying into the shadows of death, into the dark valley of the dying, will need to be a person who has unconditional love and respect for those who allow them into their lives.
I learned that acceptance of one’s death may arrive by the way of anger and confusion from the family members. I learned the importance of communication among the patients family. I learned that culture and faith are important in ones journey through life. I learned that there are more lessons that I need to learn as I walk with those who are facing death.
