"Let's Face it, Men are @$$#%\e$": What Women Can Do About It [Paperback]

Joseph Rock (Author), Barry Duncan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 1998

Women are bored with playing by the "Rules." They wish they could send men back to Mars and women are ready for a book that validates their frustrations. Let's Face It . . . explains why some women run to problematic men, provides tips on how to gain support and self-esteem, and reveals how specific actions can break destructive relationship patterns.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Joseph W. Rock, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist with over eighteen years of experience who conducts a private psychological practice in Cleveland, Ohio. He is a frequent guest on The Morning Exchange, a television show that discusses relationship issues. His work has been featured in USA Today and Psychology Today.

Barry L. Duncan, Psy.D. , is a clinical psychologist with more than seventeen years of experience whose work has been honored by the Ohio division of the Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. He is currently an associate professor at Nova Southeastern University.  He can be reached at www.whatsrightwithyou.com or www.talkingcure.com

Product Details

• Paperback: 300 pages
• Publisher: HCI; 1edit edition (January 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558746250
• ISBN-13: 978-1558746251
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,153,635 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars What to do when he won't even look at the Mars/Venus books, February 10, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: "Let's Face it, Men are @$$#%\e$": What Women Can Do About It (Paperback)

The book, written by two male therapists, opens by saying that not all men are jerks, but there is a significant number of men that ARE jerks, and they can make your life miserable. The authors also state that men in our society today ARE getting off too easy, that in their experience, men really DON'T work as hard as women do in improving relationships. (As if THAT is a big secret, just look at any magazine rack.)

The book follows the basic self-help formula, but with a twist. Most of the popular relationship theories bog down when they assume that your mate is willing to work with you 50-50 to improve your relationship. That assumption that has made John Gray (of Mars/Venus fame) a rich man and millions of women miserable, but I digress... Anyway, the authors assume you do indeed live with a person who would rather use John Gray's book for toilet paper rather than read it, so they proceed to tell what you need to do to make your life more bearable. Again, there's a twist, and their advice isn't for everyone. They tell you that jerks don't respond to an appeal for fairness or kindness (you've probably already figured that out), so you need to be willing to meet their manipulative behavior with your own manipulative behavior. At that point the book gives you some very concrete examples of what you need to do and say in order to get them to change their behavior. The book acknowledges that some women will not feel comfortable being manipulative, but their argument is you can either be 100% totally honest (which you already know gets you nowhere) or you can be miserable - or you can leave... My final take? If you're married to a jerk and value marriage more than your personal happiness, you can make things better, but only somewhat. If you're single and dating a jerk and wondering what to do? RUN LIKE HELL!

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Truth Hurts, September 2, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: "Let's Face it, Men are @$$#%\e$": What Women Can Do About It (Paperback)

This book dares to be honest. It has a tounge-in cheek, yet frank "just the facts, ma'am" approach to an age-old problem. Written by men, it offers no excuses for "problem" men's behavior. I've read several books to learn how to deal with an abusive boss. When I read this one I said, "Ah-ha!" It makes the point that merely understanding the differences in men and women's behavior is not enough to affect positive change. Many books have been written describing the problem of abusive men, but this one gives examples of ways to extract one's self from the cycle of abuse, if one is unfortunate enough to have to live or work with this type of man. Some of the suggestions are outlandish, but they illustrate in an absolute way that to change the dynamic in a relationship you MUST change your approach to it. Sometimes one must fight fire with fire. It positively changed my relationship with my abusive boss.

17 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally! This book is completely different than the rest!!, May 2, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: "Let's Face it, Men are @$$#%\e$": What Women Can Do About It (Paperback)

All the other books I've seen out there discuss relationships and men as if they would actually be participating in the change/growth process and reading and listening to self-help advice right along side you. This book deals with the reality: that most men who need a lesson in sensitivity, caring, integrity, and commitment will not touch the kinds of books and advice that would require them to BECOME sensitive, caring, and commitment savvy etc. They point out what we already know, that books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and the like, are only bought by and large by women. Of course this means that none of the men you wished would change ever will, because they won't be buying these books or using their well-intentioned advice. This book, however, is different. While most of the other books as mentioned above require the men to participate, this one points out the very real fact that it only takes one person to put a twist in the relationship, and that person is you. This doesn't mean they're saying that you can change a person, rather that if YOU change, things around you change. For example, if you act a certain way every time he does something, (like cry for example or give an ultimatum or consistently ask him to change a behavior), he gets used to it and hence, acts in HIS same old way (like rebelling for the sake of rebelling or hanging up the phone when you cry etc. etc. or going out with his buddies even more because you say you don't like it). Therefore, if you change the way you behave 180%, he's shocked and caught off guard, he doesn't have any choice but to change his way of reacting. For example, if you want him to quit smoking, encouraging him and giving him articles to read only makes him smoke more sort of rebelliously. But if you suddenly 180% turn around and encourage him to smoke, buying him cigarettes and giving him ashtrays etc., he will be freaked out and won't have a reason to rebel anymore, he'll be forced to look at his own behavior and how he feels about it, rather than continue it just to displease you. What impressed me most was the totally workable, user friendly ideas in the book. It doesn't go on and on theorizing about relationships and feelings etc. etc., but actually blends the who and the why with the WHAT TO DO. I have used these steps with amazing success. All I can say is the techniques in this book are ones you've never heard of before. I laughed a ton when I read this book and you probably will too. I laughed even more when I watched the techniques working before my very eyes. It will increase your self-esteem without your even realizing it, a nice side effect. If you are frustrated, buy this book. It will open your eyes.