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Let's Pretend This Never Happened Paperback – March 5, 2013
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Lancaster: You appear to have a soft spot for dead, stuffed creatures, particularly if they’re clad in bowler hats or acting out a scene--please explain.
Lawson: My father is a professional taxidermist, so it’s not like I had a fighting chance. And besides, I think the real question here is, who wouldn’t be interested in ferrets in cancan dresses? Old anthropomorphic taxidermy is fascinating and I’ve collected an entire menagerie of creatures that make up my personal posse. Cuban pirate alligators, Shakespearean mice, heavily armed squirrels, vampire-slaying ducklings. I’m not sure how you say no to those. My husband can, but I’m fairly sure there’s something not right about him. Anyone who can turn his nose up at the Last Supper constructed of Victorian kittens has a problem. I suspect it’s because he’s a Republican.
Lancaster: Who would you say is more powerful, The Bloggess Army or the KISS Army? Compare and contrast.
Lawson: My gut says the Bloggess Army is a bit more intimidating because we don’t dress up like kitties, but I’d probably still pick the KISS Army because Gene Simmons scares the shit out of me. Plus, my fans are less of an army and more of a collection of misfit minions looking to have a good time. Actually, now that I think about it, there’s probably a lot of crossover with the KISS Army. We should host a potluck together.
Lancaster: Can you believe some people don’t know what a confidence wig is?
Lawson: Right?! It’s shocking how often I walk in with one and I hear people whispering about the poor cancer patient that just walked in. I’m not a cancer patient, people. I just wear a wig to increase confidence. Plus, if I really mortify myself, I can just run to the bathroom, throw away the wig, and come back in and ask everyone who invited the crazy blonde that just crawled out of the bathroom window. There is no downside.
Lancaster: What’s it going to take for Nathan Fillion to send you a photo of himself holding a ball of twine?
Lawson: I think it’s going to take Nathan Fillion holding a ball of twine. I’ve offered him thousands of dollars and he still rebuffs me. I have no idea what the hold up is, but I can only imagine that Nathan Fillion is allergic to either twine or to bringing smiles to the faces of strange women who really aren’t asking for that much, Nathan.
Lancaster: Complete this sentence: “An oversized metal chicken…”
Lawson: “Means never having to say you’re sorry. Because it’s not towels.”
Lancaster: Snooki or Kim Kardashian?
Lawson: Alphabetically, or in order of who is most likely to fuck up the youth of America? Because those are two different answers. Or possibly they aren’t, now that I think about it.
Lancaster: What would you be doing if you weren’t writing? (“Hard time” is an acceptable and, frankly, the anticipated answer, FYI.)
Lawson: Well, I was going to say “hard time” but now you’ve ruined it. Which makes me feel stabby. Which leads to hard time. I think this is an example of circular logic. In real life, though, I’d be writing. Before my book it was blogging and before blogging, it was journaling and several times in between, it was graffiti. Writers write always. I thought Ray Bradbury said that, but I can’t find the quote anywhere so I’m taking credit for it. Writers write always.
Lancaster: I don’t consider you a mommyblogger, but many PR companies do. What’s the worst pitch you’ve gotten?
Lawson: Once a PR exec accidentally “replied to all” and called me “a fucking bitch” after I asked them to stop sending me pitches about a Kardashian wearing panty hose. He replied that I should feel flattered that I was even viewed as relevant enough to be pitched to, and I replied “Please stand by for a demonstration of relevancy” and tweeted it out to hundreds of thousands of people. It was kind of awesome. And terrifying.
Lancaster: Wil Wheaton or William Shatner?
Lawson: Wil Wheaton. Unless we’re doing the “destroying America thing” again. Then I have to recalculate. William Shatner and I are still recovering from a feud that was covered by MSNBC and Gawker when he refused to come to my house after I apparently offered him the wrong type of hooker. That man is a damn diva. Wil Wheaton, on the other hand, is an officer and a gentleman. William Shatner could learn a lot from that man.
Lancaster: If you had one piece of advice for someone hoping to follow your career path, what would it be?
Lawson: My one word of advice would be “FORTHELOVEOOFGODDON’T.” I’ve fallen backward into this, and I have done every single thing wrong. I have no sacred cows and am fairly unmarketable to any mainstream advertisers. I burn bridges because I like the pretty way they glow and I do exactly the opposite of everything I’m ever told to do. Thank God there’s a steady stream of intellectual misfits and misanthropic joy-seekers who get me, because that’s the only thing that’s saved me. Finding my tribe was a great gift that the Internet gave me. I returned the favor with tweets about shit my cat was doing. We’re pretty even.
Lancaster: What’s it like to ride around in your head for the day?
Lawson: Cramped. Exhausting. Exhilarating. Baffling. I have no way to compare it, but whenever I let slip the bizarre things I’m thinking about, people seem alarmed and step away slowly, so I think “disorientating” is probably fair as well.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top Customer Reviews
Buy this book if:
- you like Jenny's website
- you're not easily offended
- you've ever worked in HR
Don't buy this book if:
-Cursing offends you
-You're easily offended
Also, another reviewer noted spacing problems with the kindle edition. I noticed there were problems on my kindle touch, but I switched to my fire because I thought the pictures might be in color (they weren't). This did solve the spacing problems, but that may be because I've changed the text size settings on my touch but not on my fire.
It's the kind of book you pick up because there's a Shakespearean mouse on the cover and can't put down because the literary taxidermy on the inside is an even more compelling blend of the real and the unreal. Her humor comes as much from the way she tells her stories as the stories themselves. Jenny isn't for the squeamish, though, which is another way of saying she writes without filters or a net. This is a good thing, because her family's stories couldn't be told any other way. By the way, her family is nothing like your family. And yet, after reading the book, you'll wonder how she managed to reveal your family's secrets anyway.
"Let's Pretend This Never Happened" will prompt more than a few embarrassed laughs, but that's kind of the point. We should all laugh embarrassed laughs at least twice a week.
Lots of readers will probably compare Jenny to David Sedaris and Tina Fey, and these are reasonable, polite and generous comparisons, but Jenny's voice is ultimately her own and entirely unique. It is as confident as it is uncertain, as broad as it is intimate, as raw as it is refined, and it is because of these paradoxes that readers will feel safe here.Read more ›
*warning* Language is not suitable for kids (i.e., some swearing), and not everyone will appreciate this form of humour. Which makes me suspect you might not have a sense of humour. Because who doesn't like taxidermied animals and big metal-chickens named Beyoncé?
Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir) is written by Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, author of one of the funniest blogs (if not the funniest blog) on the Internet. I've been reading her blog for a few years now, and she never fails to crack me up. This book is no exception. From the craziness of her childhood, to penis-stories from her time in HR, taxidermied animals, big metal-chickens, the danger of towels left on the floor, etc., Let's Pretend This Never Happened is laugh-out-loud funny.
But being funny doesn't keep The Bloggess from dealing with more serious topics, such as a series of miscarriages, and her battle with depression, general anxiety etc.
This book is for all of us, who are just a little bit crazy (and who would probably benefit from letting our crazy out a little more often), and for whenever you need a good laugh, a giggle, or to think "it's not just me then." Best book so far this year, and I'm very very happy to have a hardback copy, because it won't be the last time I'll be reading it (and I almost never re-read books.
While her awkward mishaps do make for great storytelling, you soon realize that these laugh out loud anecdotes are rooted in some serious issues. That's what I wasn't prepared for. It's like when, let's say an overweight person, makes a joke at a dinner party about their size, and everyone laughs and then they make another fat joke, and you sort of shift uncomfortably, and then another joke comes, and you're like, wait, this isn't funny anymore, this is just sad, and this person has issues. Imagine 400 pages of that, as Jenny glosses over her anorexia and mental health issues. Not to mention her cutesy style of rambling through her thoughts with plenty of non sequiturs, may actually be a manifestation of her anxiety and OCD and you stop yourself and say, am I chuckling at someone who may legitimately be insane?
Perhaps I am one of those people who should have just read through her blog first and purchased the book later. I truly do appreciate that she can write about issues that are so personal with a smile and laugh, and perhaps her writing is a form of therapy for her. As a reader, I do think that you should be prepared, as this is not a Tina Fey, Sloane Crosly, Hilary Wilson type memoir. It's a bit heavy with a laugh or two on the side. Wishing Ms. Lawson the best.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great stories--very fun and humorous! I was actually laughing out loud while reading. I Will definitely get the second book!Published 7 hours ago by Kelsey Leonard
I literally laughed out loud. Jenny Lawson is one of a kind. She is able to accept and embrace her unusual childhood and an anxiety disorder, and see the humor in it all. Read morePublished 7 hours ago by GiGi
Non-stop laughing. Would recommend this book for anyone that needs a good laugh. I would read more of her books.Published 17 hours ago by Lesleybmorgan L.
Absolutely loved this book! I recommend it to all my friends who are in book clubs. I laughed so hard reading this book, my husband would yell up the stairs "you're reading... Read morePublished 2 days ago by Proud Parent
Oh, such a great read! I laughed until I cried, then I cried some and came back for more. Parts of it were so outrageously funny that they absolutely demanded to be read out loud... Read morePublished 5 days ago by Nancy A
I thoroughly enjoyed how Jenny Lawson truly tells it like it is in her very colorful way. It is unlike any book I've read and I look forward to reading more from her.Published 6 days ago by Helen Freeman