Customer Reviews

Letters Never Mailed: 32 Years Of Writing To Tom Waits

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I've read this little book of poetry several times over the last few weeks;probably ten times or so and I usually am struck by something new each time. The overriding feeling I get from these writings is a sense of sadness that the plea for attention and depraved admiration was never reciprocated by brooding, somber, literate crooner Tom Waits Beautiful Maladies: The Island Years by just responding in letter. By not responding Waits negates her existence. What Borgeson in turn proves by her writings is her very existence, but never shall the two meet, either in person or through communication, only one way communication and silence. Why I ask myself? To you, Tom Waits, I would say, why not? I also came away wondering why more of the 5,000 letters were not published to get a better view of the mind and feelings of Susan Borgeson. What is revealed in this glimpse peek is a sharp mind that is tormented. The author is tormented and haunted by her obsession, (not unlike a character in a bleak and bitter Waits song) with Tom Waits and his shunning of her as well as her own personal demons. The result is a work of dark beauty compounded by multiple mechanisms and propelled by unrelenting desire. Her illusion is love that is not returned as is evident in a quote from "All is Well." She says without regret,in finishing her poem,"I only hope to show you, What a womans heart can do,When broken then recovered,By you and only you." Susan Borgeson's heart is broken but she has resolved herself, for better or worse, that Waits has moved on, just as has she. Her focus throughout is Waits but there is a continuous introspection that reflects her own deeper problem of coping with mental illness. In "Ramblings of a Pin Head" she states,"I've never actually heard voices,but my hunches and instincts seem to come from out of nowhere.On a good day. I'm dead right. On a bad One, I'm chronically mentally ill little worm of a loser." Susan understands herself and yet knows very little of herself, only the why. In this respect she demonstrates what many in society have failed to understand or care to understand, the burden of living daily when you are mentally ill. I do not feel sorry for Susan Borgeson but rather admire her for her courage and persistence. She is a winner and an unlikely hero that emerges like a phoenix from the ashes. If for nothing else I highly suggest you read this short book to contribute to the organization NAMI(National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). This is a very misunderstood illness that needs everyone's attention and by purchasing this book you will be helping. This is a heartfelt book of poetry that everyone can understand, it is about Susan Borgeson's broken heart and how she has survived in mind and body, against all odds.

One wonders what Tom Waits actually did to the author after reading the poetry in this book.

Although it may not have been intended, some of the poems come across as witty if taken alone away from the content of the book. When taken altogether, you get a picture of a great sadness and loss that never did get handled.

It's a journey of persistence and determination with demands for love and admiration. Dreams dashed, life in turmoil but finding the strength to carry on.

I really do wish I knew exactly what Tom Waits did - was he the cause of the authors struggles? It's a mystery, but obviously one that had a great impact on Susan Borgeson's life for 32 years.

I am also a musician like Tom Waits, and I received many letters over the 28 years I have known Susan Borgeson. After all, she has done write ups on musicians for several publications. The ones I received did not seem psychotic or dark, but rather straight forward and personalized. I have never read any of the letters she wrote to Tom Waits. I did receive the original drafts from this book about 10 years ago delivered to me by the author sealed in a manilla envelope. I was sick of hearing about Tom Waits so i just put the contents aside. 2 months ago I found them in a suitcase out in my garage and started to read them. Putting ink to paper is a writing mode that is rapidly vanishing. Like the Nasca Lines in Peru the writings were crafted without mis-spellings, scratchouts, or revisions---and seem to flow out of Borgeson like good whiskey from a fire hydrant. In the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam, Frank's original German diary drafts are framed---really appealing to historians and graphologists. While Borgeson does not need a museum, the hand written poems convey a subtile quality missing in the typed versions. I am glad they were there. I know how crippling depression can be: Borgeson has spent 3 and 4 days at a time unable to get out of bed or even do the simplest things we all take for granted, like eating breakfast or answering the phone. Borgeson's a real battler.I am supporting her all the way.

After reading this book, I did something I rarely do about an author and the subject, a Google search on Susan Borgeson and Tom Waits. Tom Waits is a musician and Susan Borgeson is a woman that has suffered from mental illness since her teen years. They met decades ago and Susan has been writing Tom Waits every day for 32 years, over 5,000 letters were actually mailed.
The contents of this book are a series of short poems and they are put forward as having been gleaned from the letters. Depending on your point of view and the circumstances, they are a mild expression of Borgeson's primary mental illness, severe bi-polar disorder, or an expression much more severe. Most of the poems express a dislike of life and one can understand why someone receiving such a letter would rather not respond and after a time, simply throw them away without opening them.
I found it odd that only 30 pages of material (fifteen actual as one page is a photocopy of a letter and the opposite page is the text) could have been extracted from 5,000 letters and found myself wondering what the contents of the others could be. This is a dark book, a demonstration of a deep mental struggle, the poems are disquieting, so the only uplifting aspect is the fact that Borgeson has managed to survive and cope with her illness. All proceeds from this book will go to NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill).