Customer Reviews

Letters to Sam: A Grandfather's Lessons on Love, Loss, and the Gifts of Life

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I loved Letters to Sam for several reasons. It has an emotional drive that psychologists commonly fail to develop in their books that makes it a great read. Letters to Sam is so deeply felt and courageously personal. It teaches us all how to find appreciation and meaning in life no matter what the situation. Daniel Gottlieb does it by telling us about his own struggles. I recommend this book to a patient who also has an autistic grandson. She found it therapeutic as well as a great story. Then I began to recommend it to many of my patients who seemed to be running out of steam. They were also inspired and encouraged to hang in there and grow in psychotherapy. I loved the story for its own sake. Thank you Dan for this great book and all that you have done for so many-more than you can ever realize. This book is a major achievement that will entertain and encourage people for generations.
I Love You Madly! On Passion, Personality and Personal Growth, second edition

For twenty years, Dan Gottlieb has hosted a psychology call-in radio show, "Voices in the Family," broadcast from Philadelphia's NPR affiliate. For ten years, he has written a column for the Philadelphia Inquirer. Through letters and persons calling in, plus his psychotherapy practice, he has listened, observed, and learned about the cruelties, courage and compassion that touch us all. And as he writes in his introduction, "Books taught me a bit about psychology. But paralysis taught me to sit still and keep my ears and heart open so I could listen."

Dan has also for over twenty years of his fifty plus years been quadriplegic. In his introduction, Dan explains that quadriplegia puts the body at risk, and he feared he wouldn't live long enough to share with his grandson Sam lessons of life, or to be known by him. When Sam was two, it was discovered that he was autistic. Dan wrote: " I wept for Sam. I realized that I had more than ever to tell him. . . I wanted to teach him what I've learned about fighting against the kind of adversity that I face almost daily and fear he will face also. And I wanted to tell him how peace often happens when we simply stop fighting."

I have heard Dan speak at two Healing and Spirituality Conferences, so I know his ability to penetrate our defenses and reach those soft spots that many of us intentionally or unconsciously hide, i.e. the very places where we are most deeply human, compassionate, sensitive, and wise. So it's not surprising that Dan is able to do the same in his writing. Nor is it surprising that his publishers believe the books coming impact will be similar to "Tuesdays with Morrie". David Elpern, M.D. who has created physician wellness conferences over 20 years that included countless nationally recognized presenters, describes Dan as a modern day Buddha.

At one Conference where Dan presented, he told about how after his accident, he didn't know if he could make it as a quadriplegic, nor if he wanted to. But he would give it two years, and decide whether to go on, or check out. After two years, he had a conversation with his god, not the god of his religion, but of his spirit. He asked his god if god would give him the hope that he might be cured. His god said he wouldn't, so choose. He tried again, and asked his god if he would give him the hope of good health. And god repeated the previous answer. His god then said to him, "There is only one thing I expect from you, which is faithfulness, and one thing I will promise you, which is presence."

Dan also said his struggle before his accident was to be part of the "in" group. But after the accident, when sitting in his wheel chair, he noted that most people would not look at him, as though he was a non-person. He understood that. He was everyone's worst nightmare, being helpless and dependent, 24/7. He realized he could never be part of the "in" group...which freed him, to be himself.

Dan's speaking, and his writing, have the potential to enable us to find, enjoy, and live our deepest self. Dan is truly a powerful wounded healer. In Letters to Sam, Dan writes to all of us.

Letters to Sam is a touching, soul-provoking work of art which I could not put down. I read the book in one day and did not want it to end. Each chapter took me further into the life of the author, and at the same time I recognized parallels within my own life. As Dan Gottlieb writes to his grandson, Sam, I could feel my own heart opening up. His writing is not only genuine, but generous; sharing the deepest and darkest moments in his life, but not leaving the reader in gloom. Instead, I was left with an uplifting love, and a deeper compassion for myself and others.

As I read the book, I began to imagine what it would have been like to have a grandfather like Dr. Gottlieb, someone who could guide and advise me on this journey of living. As Dan writes this book, he holds his grandson's hand, and that of the reader's as he weaves his masterful stories with meaningful insights and lessons. What a gift for a grandchild. And what a gift for the reader!

As an Executive Coach, I want all of my clients to read this book. Sometimes we go through our days in a daze of tasks, not stopping to smell the roses. This book gives pause to living a life not full of tasks, but one of connectivity to ourselves and to those around us.

I would doubt that after reading Letters to Sam, anyone could argue that their own humanity hasn't been deepened. The ultimate message Dan Gottlieb delivers is that we need to embrace our darkest side as well as our lightest side which will bring us closer to our desires for more harmony, peace and joy in our own lives.
Bravo!

What a find! I purchased this book at a fund raiser and I received much more than the water damaged UU church. This book is packed with lessons on living told with striking vulnerability and wisdom. It is a concentrated dose of Dad's radio show but he is the guest and interviewer. You don't need to be a listener to be uplifted and transformed by, "Letters to Sam."

Kind, gentle, loving, and remarkably gratifying. Gottlieb lets us peek into his personal life as he sprinkles golden nuggets of sage advice for his grandson, Sam. Sam is clearly loved. By sharing his knowledge and insight with Sam in this book, Gottlieb extends his love to all who read this. I feel better prepared to face life's personal challenges and to help all I love do the same.

This book really helps to put in perspective what matters in life. The author has certainly learned about humility, humanity, and how the two interrelate. I found this book to be extremely heartwarming and honest with many great life lessons to offer!

I can honestly say, even as a voracious reader, that this is one of the best books I have ever read. Dan Gottlieb's wisdom, love, and compassion for his grandson, diagnosed with autism, are very evident in this loving collection of letters on all subjects of life. Paralyzed in a horrific accident as a young man, he is the most obvious role model for the boy in advising him on many important matters of living--love, loss, happiness, and most of all, being an individual and learning from life's experiences, no matter what they may be. Sam's diagnosis of autism makes the book all the more poignant, as Gottlieb realizes that the boy may not understand all that is said in the book, but the gesture of writing it shows that he believes in Sam's possible eventual ability to appreciate it.

Without giving too much away, one particular letter that especially touched me was one in which Gottlieb (who is a therapist by profession) relates a story of counseling a young woman who is having serious life difficulties when he suddenly has an embarrassing accident with his urinary bag. In this recount, he admits to severe embarrassment and ultimate emotional connection with the girl, who shows him empathy and understanding even as she is in desperate need of it herself when she goes to him.

This book is not about autism or living with disability. It's about living, loving, and learning how to continue on after disappointment, loss, and tragedy. Gottlieb's amazing courage and wisdom will benefit anyone who reads this great work. I think I know what I'm buying everyone for Christmas next year. :)

This book was so helpful and insightful, I bought copies for several of my friends.I learned about this book from my mother who is in her eighties.She has had to deal with the challenges of aging, she found the writer to be validating of her struggle yet inspiring.As a psychotherapist , I have recomended this book to my clients and they have enjoyed and benifited greatly from reading it. I would certainly recommend this book to everyone, but especially those individuals who are facing illness,death and loss, or just need some perspective on how to deal with adversity.

Here's a book that easy and quick to read. A smart and witty older gentlemen who himself is dealt a bad hand provides wisdom to a grandson who is also dealt with a handicap. Letters to Sam is beautifully written to his grandson, who has autism. Hopefully Sam will be able to fully appreciate these wise words but surely the reader finds comfort. Highly recommended for those seeking some inner strength.

Dr Gottlieb spills his heart out on every page of this book to teach his grandson, Sam the lessons of life. He not only educates Sam but the reader as well to look at differences in people in a whole new light. I can only thank Dr Gottlieb for sharing his insight and his love for Sam. Having a child with Autism, I can really empathize with the author. I know how hard it is to describe the abstract world; and hopefully one day my son will understand this world we live in and embrace those who understand. I have purchased this book for myself and as gifts to share with others. Read this book it will change the way you look at life in a more positive way.