Letters to Sara: The Agony of Adult Sibling Loss [Paperback]

Anne McCurry (Author)

Product Details

• Paperback: 124 pages
• Publisher: 1st Book Library (November 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0759665729
• ISBN-13: 978-0759665729
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #859,528 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Letters to Sara, May 13, 2002

By 

Gerald N. Poppink (Sunland, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Letters to Sara: The Agony of Adult Sibling Loss (Paperback)

Grief takes on a uniquely different dimension when trying to come to terms with the loss of a brother or sister; after all, siblings are linked literally from birth to death, unlike any other form of familial relationship. The loss is so deep that it's like a real part of you has died at the same time. "Letters to Sara" is one woman's wrenching attempt to make sense of the basic unfairness of death, and these letters become a vitally necessary form of self-therapy to try to understand all of the "whys." Far from gloomy, however, author Anne's concise insights are sometimes profound, sometimes simplistic and oft-times humorous. Just like life itself.
While each of the letters is quire short (indeed, the entire book is quite a quick read), each addresses a central question that Anne ultimately answers herself, at least partly. In this wrenching journey, written over a period of three months following her sister's untimely death at 54, Anne agonizes from phase to phase as part of a long healing process that is just the beginning. Death, like life, is irrationally unfair, and Anne experiences flashes of frustration and anger -- with herself, with her brother in law, and even her sister Sara -- trying to work through the process of being left alone as the last survivor. At the core of all of this is the central question: how to adapt to a life without a loved one.
Having recently lost my own kid sister, it was difficult to read this book at a single sitting without breaking down, as the questions posed were both uniquely personal while at the same time universal. Similar to the author's situation, I knew for some time that my sister would not win her battle with cancer, no matter how valiantly she fought. But no matter how foreordained the loss of a sibling may be, you can never really prepare yourself for the huge void that the death of a brother or sister creates. Anne approaches her own grief on a systematic basis -- talking with friends, reading endless books about grief and bringing unresolved questions to her own therapist. This approach helped her to better undersand the process, if not the resolution.
"Letters to Sara" ended up becoming a sort of memorial to Anne's older sister, whom she had idolized her entire life. At one point, she admitted that Sara's "Carpe Diem" personality -- seize the day! -- was the critical philosophy that made Sara's life an incredibly full one, even if tragically short. For anyone going through this very personal trauma, either approaching the inevitable or dealing with the final reality, "Letters to Sara" will serve as an invaluable map to ultimately coming out of the darkness into the sunshine. While things will never be the same, the concept of living every day to its fullest is truly a legacy which will help those who survive heal over time. "Letters to Sara" will provide help, insight and -- best of all -- hope to anyone wondering how they can ever face the future after such a devastating personal loss.

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Letters To Sara, January 9, 2002

By 

Jeanine Gall (Dansville, NY United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Letters to Sara: The Agony of Adult Sibling Loss (Paperback)

Letters to Sara is a must read for anyone that has lost a sibling, but is just as significant to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. The "letters", often very intimate, made me truly feel Anne's tremendous sense of loss for her sister Sara. The book helped me to understand the stages of grief and I realized my own sorrowful phases were a natural progression in healing. The "letters" tell a sincere and candid story of two siblings so different, yet so devoted and they genuinely define the meaning of "sisters". The book is an emotional and frequently funny tribute to Sara's life and I cried many times - for Sara AND Anne, but also for my own grief over the recent loss of my father. Reading Letters To Sara will help reassure that however you suffer through the death of a loved one, no matter how different it appears to others, it is totally natural for you.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful tribute to Sara - and to Anne who loved her, September 29, 2007

By 

L. M. Smyth "Daffodil fan" (Puyallup, WA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Letters to Sara: The Agony of Adult Sibling Loss (Paperback)

Letters to Sara: The Agony of Adult Sibling Loss
Anne McCurry has accomplished something really unique in her creative tribute to her beloved older sister. Using the style of letter-writing to portray her deep, agonizing loss, she effectively draws a picture of not only the important, much-too-young life that was lost, but also conveys such a strong sense of her own personal loss. I lost my own kid sister last Thanksgiving; unlike Sara, my sister's death was sudden, unexpected and shocking. I found limited resources available in the weeks and months that followed to help me navigate through this enormous crisis.

Now, nearly a year later, I've found some good resources that are helping me to gain perspective. So many of Anne's observations are universally applicable to any grief situation, but with the loss of a beloved sibling, particularly an only sister who was close in age, I could really relate to her analysis that the word "sister" is now a painful one. Anne's experiences with her friends, who want her to "get over it" truly resonate. As if we will ever get over it! Anne's reflections helped me to see that what I'm feeling is not unusual.

Anne's message of continued devotion and loyalty, long after death has separated the sisters and her pledge to keep Sara's memory alive are beautiful, sincere thoughts. I will hold this delightful book close to my heart as I continue to navigate this very tear-stained and slippery slope. I know now that many others have walked in this lonely territory before me; while that gives me no comfort, it provides me with the belief that I too will survive this. Thank you, Anne, for this gift to all of us who have lost a sibling.