Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Letting Go (Fifth Edition): A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years
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Customer Reviews

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This is a good book about adolescent transition from high school to college and the college years.
It includes information on stages before college and throughout the college years. It offers inval-
uable insight into parent-child relationships during this period. I only wish I'd read it before my
daughter went off to college. It's a perfect book to read when your child is a junior in high school.
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on January 28, 2013
This is a great book for anyone sending their child off to college. We sent our only child off this year and it was very difficult for me (and maybe my husband, although he doesn't show it as much) It DOES get easier and better but this book gives parents insight on the whole process of sending ones' child(ren) off on their own and letting them become independent and responsible people.
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on March 19, 2012
When both our kids went off to college we re-read the book simply because it is direct and clearly written. It speaks to all the trepidations and anxieties that parents feel when that day comes. We have since ordered and given this book away to several friends over the years and will continue to do so because it is a relief to know you are not alone and that it has all been dealt with before.
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on August 5, 2010
I'm about halfway through the FOURTH edition of this sprightly book. So far--I'll be back with more input when I finish--what impresses most remain the examples:
students', administrators', parents' words--it's truly a universe of information and feelings. Only compassion and most of all re-balancing can result from this approach.
Having now completed the book, I appreciate the raw honesty conveyed to parents in every sentence without unnecessarily intimidating them.

Read at any point in one's life, this book can open any human being to looking at himself/herself more directly and more courageously. It's primarily--but not solely--
a guide to manage his/her own life as his/her child approaches the college years.
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on November 29, 2012
This book was recommended by a college guidance counselor at my daughter's freshman college day weekend. I would recommend this book to any parent who finds themselves with a suddenly quiet house after the long push to get kids through high school and launched into college. Lots of examples and case studies make this a lively, insightful, and interesting read.
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on April 26, 2012
Wow! This book included everything I hadn't thought of regarding the adjustments parents go through when a child goes to college. My daughter gave it to me as a gift before she left, because she had a feeling I would need it. She was right. I thought it was well-written, comprehensive, and offered some great advice. I wish I'd read it the summer before she left home. I just got started. It took several months to digest the contents, but it was well worth the time spent.
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on September 21, 2013
Great book for new empty nesters. I wish i read it when my first son went away to college. I am not as demanding for connection with my second child because this book explains what SHE is going through being away.
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on May 17, 2016
My wife and I are so far survivors of 24 person-years of being college parents. When we went to our very first parent meeting in 2008, this book was highly recommended by the Residence Life people. We read it, loved it, and recommended it to others. We lived it. Until a conversation with one of our kids ended in what could only be described as a desperate call for advice because there was no way out of something and the college was trying to keep a lid on the situation. So as our experience grew, we started to realize that "letting go" is exactly what your kid's college wants: and it is not at all what they need.

To explain, this book does a great job of going through the emotions of allowing your child to become part of someone else's community (in this case, the college or university). Where we have found the trouble is, is that almost every one of these communities is dysfunctional,and almost destructive, and if you just plan on being a good parent and getting your head patted while your son or daughter is dealing with bizarre policies, student-run underground crime rings (you want it? you can get it all -- for a price -- and often with the help of some other kid's twisted parent), etc. We had one child whose roommate decided his life ambition was to become the Joker and make his own syndicate, which he did in his own dorm: the college told us that everything was fine, and to go back to our poppy field and be good parents and let them experience life.

Each of our kids, when they come home, are different people than they left. Their value systems have been temporarily twisted, and they look at my wife and I as if we have changed.... but we haven't. They have. And with the support of a college or university that really, truly does not want us seeing what is behind the curtain.

So if the "Residence Life" people at your kid's college or university recommends this book, it is indeed worth a read. But never, EVER "let go:" what they will experience, especially in the dorms, is not at all what you might expect, and you are going to need to be at least some of the bedrock on which they can figure out a way to get around something that 30 years ago none of us ever had to deal with.
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on April 6, 2013
This is an excellent book for all parents who are seeing their children off to college. When we left our daughter for her freshman year at Rensselaer Polytechnic, this book was a free gift from the university to all the freshman parents. It helped me keep perspective on how to be supportive in a new role -- moving from "mom" to "parent". At one point, I remember my daughter thanking me for letting her make her own choices (and, sometimes, mistakes), and for letting her build confidence for adulthood - moving from 'protected daughter' to 'independent young woman'.

Flash forward ten years later, and I'm confronted by a co-worker in the hallway at work. This younger 'mom' is was visibly distraught and on the brink of tears at the thought of her first child going off the college in a couple of months. I remembered alot of the "letting go" advice, and shared it with her on the spot. Then I ordered this book to gift her.

A few days after she received it, she was very vocal in letting me know how much she appreciated to know that 'distraught' is one of the many legitimate emotions that moms (and dads) will feel as they let their children go. She was sharing the book with other younger moms facing the same future. Talk about paying it forward!
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on September 5, 2014
This book was just what I needed as we transitioned our daughter into her first year of college. My only regret was not reading Letting Go during the summer months before dropping her off. I realized things seemed "off" after driving home to see her room was empty and she was gone. Her possessions had greater meaning to me all of sudden. Just like the home sick college student standing over Interstate 80 watching cars head to Los Angeles, I found myself looking for my daughter's shoe prints from the dirt path we had jogged on days before. The first 3 days we felt like a complete zombies and knowing other parents felt similar was a BIG relief.

The book is on point with a parent's desire to have that perfect and euphoric moment when we say goodbye. Our moment was anything but perfect surrounded by parents and students waiting in long lines.

The stories from parents or students provide valuable insight and guidance for parents navigating through uncharted waters. The advice from one college to hovering parents is your child has a great foundation, let them do the rest. I appreciated the reminder we're sending our kids into a completely new environment lacking anything familiar to them. We as parents need to strike the right balance to allow them to grow, while keeping them out of harms way.

Letting Go is thorough, must read, and quite enjoyable for any parent sending their kids off to college.
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