Customer Reviews

Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, Fourth Edition

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I highly recommend this book. I particularly liked the chapter on Departure.

A small passage really hit home with me,"Based on numerous interviews with college students, there seems to be little to no correlation between roommates' initial contacts and their ultimate compatibility. Too often, brief notes or abbreviated phone calls encourage fantasies of becoming best friends and soul mates -- only to discover later that a liking for yellow quilts and James Dean doesn't gaurantee friendship or similar lifestyles."

After watching my daughter go through a similar situation, I can totally understand. I recommend any first time college bound parent read this. Then give your son/daugher a copy of College 101: The Book Your College Does Not Want You To Read.

Letting Go - will give you peace of mind.
College 101: The Book Your College Does Not Want You To Read - will give your son/daughter peace of mind.

As the father of one daughter in college, and another on the way this September, this book was a Godsend!

Sending a child to college is an emotional experience. This book keys in to our concerns as parents, therefore, reading this book is a heartfelt experience. Each young man and woman is different and the book acknowledges this, thus avoiding broad generalizations. There are two parties who have to cope with the major change, the young adult heading off to college and, the parents. Certainly, there are many pitfalls for the student. He or she may be away from home for the first time. Some get very homesick while others thrive on their new found freedom. Some break into the academic routine whereas others feel overwhelmed and frightend. There are temptations for experimentation such as new sexual experiences, alcohol and illict drugs. In addition to the stress of academics, there are stresses in forming new relationships, both social and romantic. What this book brings out very well is that strating college is where a young person often seeks an identity and image. For example, someone who, perhaps, had the reputation of being a "nerd" in high school has a new group of contemporaries with whom to start with a fresh slate and perhaps come across as "cool." Thus, young people are often discovering themselves and their identities.

As parents, we have to help guide our children through their new experiences. This basically means, for the most part, leaving them alone and allowing them to make their own decisions. However, always be there when needed. The book gives the example of students who go off to college and parents rarely hear from them. The conversations they do have are often superficial. Then all of a sudden, the student calls and has a very close and intimate conversation. This is normal. The student may thrive on being on his/her own but then, certain pressures may make him/her feel a little lonely and in need of family.

After reading this book I said the following to my son when I was about to leave him : "I have often told you what to do and if there was an argument, I said 'it's not your decision to make.' Well, now, I may give you advice but, for the first time, you can cut me off and say 'it's not your decision to make.'" Certainly, those words to my son were a little bittersweet and this very fine book has, a lot in it that will bring out that emotion in its readers.

I was so trepidacious about sending my child off to college. And I work at a college! This book is great for parents that have not lived on a college campus-it explains in detail how students find things like health care and academic support, how dorm rooms are set up, and a bunch of details about what living on campus is all about and how to find support services. I did not think it was helpful in regards to dealing with the crazy stuff in my own head about how to send my child off to college with a smile on my face. Drop off day was tough-and there was not enough in the book to help me with that. From my own experience I knew how to get my kid to find an ID and her dorm, the two things she needed the most. For parents that have not lived on a college campus, you may find this helpful. For me, I am still trying to deal with the empty nest and how to be supportive from far away. If anyone can recommend a book for a single parent of a single child, I would love to check it out. The good news is my baby has been away for only 3 weeks, and we're both doing just fine (her more than me, but that's a good thing!) Getting used to the idea of this first step towards independence is hard-harder than anything else I have ever done as a parent. And I wish I knew how to prepare others for this-but it's like childbirth. No amount of reading can ever prepare you for this.

This is the best book! I use it as a resource, looking up the particular things I have questions about as I need them. When my son was leaving for school 1000 miles away, I read the section on "the Good-Bye" and it was so incredibly helpful! As a mom, I pictured things would go a certain way, and through reading, I realized that what I was picturing and what was actually going to happen was probably going to be radically different! And, the book was right --and I was prepared! I was so grateful for that --it saved me from feeling let down and empty when we drove away! It's such a realistic book, and it addresses the parents' feelings, while also giving us an insight into our student's feelings and why we all act and react as we do --it's right on the money! I've shared my book with friends who have seniors in High School this year, and so far, everyone has felt relieved to see that their (and their children's) feelings and actions are the same as others in the same boat. It has made our transition SO much easier, and so far, it's been a great freshman year for our son. He even said we were being cool about stuff and he appreciated that. (Wow!) So, I'd wholeheartedly recommend the book --it's like having a best friend advise you from their past experience.

Honestly, I stopped reading it halfway through. This was one of those books that could have been great, however, it is just OK. As a parent, I am actively engaged in my kids' lives. We talk. When they come home from school we eat dinner together. Since I pay the tuition bill, I see their report card. My wife and I discuss things twice before discussing them with our kids. We strive to give the best advice possible. I just didn't feel I needed the hand holding that this book offered. (For that matter, neither did my wife.)

If you want to understand college, read a book written by a college student. Heck, read a funny, irreverent book written by a college student. This book will at least give you an idea of what it is like in the trenches, College 101: The Book Your College Does Not Want You to Read

I was a single mom and very apprehensive about my daughter going away to school. "Letting Go" really helped me understand that my daughter needed independence when going to college.

I have not read all of "Letting Go" and (as I have been overwhelmed preparing to send my child to college myself) I have not had time to. But the book has been a source of hope and perspective during the difficult time that surrounds this process of separation. I have dipped into the book as needed-- literally reading 5-page snippets that dealt with a particular issue I was facing. Knowing, for instance, that "the goodbye" might not go as planned -- with tears and Kodak moments -- was enormously helpful when...the goodbye did not go as planned.

The book was written with compassion and frankness for parents struggling with the difficulty of watching a beloved youngling launch off into a world of complexity and hard consequences. The book counsels parents on how to deal with kids when you catch them at their worst -- hung over at noon on a Sunday. It deals honestly with the fact that kids use college as a time to develop their sexual selves -- a process that involves a discomfiting amount of trial and error. The authors do not condone illicit behavior -- with sex, drugs or anything else -- but honestly observe that many young people test the rules by breaking them. I did it, you did it, they will do it -- whether right, wrong or otherwise.

"Letting Go" helps parents to keep their heads on at a time when reverting to being rule-maker is both tempting and usually wrong. Whether read cover to cover or on an "as needed" basis between crises, this book is a quite helpful and may even make the college experience bearable and even enjoyable for everyone.

This book provides excellent reminders of what it is like to be young and heading off into the adult world. The stories resonate and there are so many examples you are sure to find you and your child can relate tofits your child's personality and great tips for learning to deal with your new adult child. It also provides you, as the parent, with reassurance that when your child seems to be changing it is usually normal and ok, and if not provides suggestions for ways to help your child that he/she is likely to accept. It is also a great book for the young person going off to college to read real thoughts, concerns and successes from other young people who have recently been in their shoes. Great book

Letting Go is an insightful companion for an emotionally intense moment of parenting. If you're also looking for loving ways to celebrate a graduation and send a young adult into the world with the counsel of the people important to him or her (YOU!), I recommmend "Words to Live By: A Journal of Wisdom for Someone You Love" by Emily and Kate Marshall, a mother-daughter team.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT BOOK. IT HAS BEEN OVER THIRTY YEARS SINCE I WAS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN AND THIS BOOK WAS INSIGHTFUL AND HELPFUL AS MY SON LEAVES FOR COLLEGE. I WOULD STRONGLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK FOR PARENTS WHOSE FIRST CHILD IS LEAVING FOR COLLEGE OR THEIR LAST CHILD. EVERY PARENT OF A COLLEGE STUDENT SHOULD READ THIS BOOK.