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Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life Paperback – January 1, 1990


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Harpercollins (January 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062554115
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062554116
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,742,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Ronald T. Potter-Efron is a clinical psychotherapist. He has a M.S.W from the University of Michigan and a Ph.D. in sociology from Purdue University. A former university professor, he specializes in the treatment of addictive disorders and anger and resentment counseling. He also is active in training professional counselors. He taught at an experimental college for eight years, and has trained in gestalt therapy techniques. Ronald is the author of Shame, Guilt and Alcoholism: Treatment Issues in Clinical Practice.

Patricia S. Potter-Efron is a family systems therapist and an individual and group therapist working mainly with families affected by chemical dependency. A graduate of Macalester College in St. Paul, she now directs Professional Growth Services, a program for adult children with dysfunctional families and does group work with recovering chemically dependent women. The Potter-Efrons are co-editors of and contributors to The Treatment of Shame and Guilt in Alcoholism Counseling and Aggression, Family Violence, and Chemical Dependency. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

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See all 17 customer reviews
Good shame and toxic shame.
KC
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is addressing the power of shame in their lives or in the lives of someone they love.
B Rene Gabbard
For me it was a very easy read.
thaknowledgehustla

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

128 of 132 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 27, 2000
Format: Paperback
Letting Go of Shame is an excellent self help guide. Each chapter ends with practical excercises. The material is presented in an orderly fasion, working through the issues one by one. The positive role that shame plays is covered, but the focal issue is toxic shame. It is easy for the reader to identify with symptomatic consequences of shame as each source of shame is presented. It is complementary to Bradshaw's classic book on the subject and in many ways is a simpler presentation for the novice. Complex and technical language is avoided. This is a practical self help guide for anyone dealing with the self inflicting pain caused by shame.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Brikl on July 14, 2009
Format: Paperback
I wish everyone could read this book so we could all talk about this underrated subject! When this book was recommended to me, I didn't read it because I couldn't comprehend properly what the subject of shame entailed. It's fascinating how much it affects us all and how we aren't even aware of it. A wonderful book!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Jane Dough on November 16, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Even normal people from normal families have a certain amount of shame. This book helps to identify, personalize and deal with the shame that we have been piling on ourselves since childhood. Make sure you do the exercises at the end of each chapter. They are very valuable.
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29 of 38 people found the following review helpful By hairballz on April 10, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I wanted to like this book - really. I ordered the sample for my Kindle, which was just most of the introduction and about a page of the first chapter, and based on that it looked promising, though I was concerned that the sample wouldn't let me access the Table of Contents at all. Hmmmm.. Should have been my first clue. My primary objection to this book is that it is just so repetitive. I have to believe this was an essay someone wrote that got "developed" into a book. Every chapter starts with the author spending a lot of time telling you what he's going to talk about in this chapter - VERY little time actually talking about it - followed by a tedious REVIEW of what he just talked about, just in case you missed it.

The "exercises" at the end of each chapter are then - unbelieveable - a FURTHER re-hashing of ideas from the chapter. But to even call them "ideas" is being generous. There is nothing particularly new or even helpful here. A lot of interesting statements that then never get fully developed. I read the whole book thinking surely at some point the authors are going to start fleshing some of this stuff out, right? But it just never happened.

Hugely disappointing. If it hadn't taken me a full week to plow through this, forcing myself to the end, I would have just returned the Kindle edition, but I believe I'm past the Amazon deadline for that.

Lesson learned - if a sample won't let you see the Table of Contents, there's probably a reason for that.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By KC on October 20, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book hits the heart of where shame comes from. Good shame and toxic shame. If you're looking to leave shameful memories behind you'll find this book an excellent resource.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Rachel on April 18, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Until I read this book, I misunderstood what shame is all about. I thought of it as the type of feeling I received when I was little and my Mom wagged her finger at me after I did something wrong and basically said "shame on you." That may be an element of shame, but shame is really much more pervasive - it's about a state of being and interacting with the world. This book does a great job explaining shame, where it comes from, how it impacts one's life, and finally how to let go of shame to live a happier, more fulfilling life. Strongly suggest for anyone! I discovered that what I labeled shame was really guilt (i.e., I felt badly aboul not doing something) - really, I was dealing with shame that I wasn't good enough. It so helped put things in the proper perspective so I could deal with it all!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By B Rene Gabbard on February 8, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
For someone living with shame or even having feelings of unworthiness, this book addresses those emotions and why they affect in the ways they do. It gives clear, concise explanations that anyone can understand. They are applicable to the lives of people who either have refused and don't know how to let go of the shame that controls their life choices and relationships. The book also contains very helpful exercises at the end of each chapter where the reader is given an opporturnity for introspection as well as application of the information addressed in each chapter. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is addressing the power of shame in their lives or in the lives of someone they love.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By thaknowledgehustla on September 9, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have read several books on shame. This one I like a good bit. A good amount of the stuff I read was not new to me, but I appreciated the simplicity of the book and how it presents the impact of shame, sources, solutions. For me it was a very easy read. If you've already read shame books, like Bradshaw's "Shame that Binds," then this will be a refresher for you. If you have not read much, or any, books about shame, this would be a GREAT starter.
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