Customer Reviews

Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be: Lessons on Change, Loss, and Spiritual Transformation

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Lama Surya Das is a profound teacher when it comes to Tibetan Buddhism. He remembers that his teachers always observed that the most important step in dealing with grief and suffering was to look at the losses pragmatically. Surya Das adds: "Like the Buddha, we want to find the lessons that lie buried in suffering and pain. Questioning is an essential part of the spiritual path: self-inquiry, introspection, philosophy - all involve genuine doubt and skepticism as propellants fueling the spiritual journey. We find meaning in the seeking itself." In short, we must find the answers for ourselves. No text, as wonderful as it might even be, can do this exploration for us. As opposed to trying to escape from bereavement and hindrance, we can face them with insight and strength.

There is an enormous breadth of teachings stories in this book. From something jotted down in a Nursery school by a toddler, to Zen allegories-Surya Das unabashedly draws from the best of so many sources to bring us a book so full of the good teachings. As he's done in his earlier books, Surya Das proposes precise practices in his dialogue of the circumstances we may all find ourselves in. For instance, mention how the loss of a loved one can make us "wrap up" or become solitary, he counsels using prayer to confirm our aspiration to keep our hearts unlocked and free. Like the old saying, "A bird only can stay in your hand without you killing it if your hand is open." We must cherish and love all that is, while being prepared to let go at any moment. This is how we should practice. Letting go. The Hindu text The Bhagavad-Gita states: "Death is certain for anyone born, and birth is certain for the dead. Seeing how this cycle is inevitable, you have no cause to grieve." Those are some really sobering words. This book answers a lot of our toughest questions in life with a kind and gentle hand. Enjoy it!

Lama Surya Das has given us a handbook on living. "Letting Go" is an excellent book for anyone going through loss, change, illness, or a desired transformation of being. This book is easily read and has been written like he is talking to you in person. While it is very Buddhist in background, this is a book anybody from any religious background can gain from. I resell many of my buddhist books but this is one I will be keeping in my library to re-read in the future. Surya Das has a easy way of explaining Buddhism in a more westernized way that makes this an excellent book for newcomers to this faith and way of being. I also loved the Medicine Buddha section which gives full instruction on a healing mantra and visualizations for physical, mental, and spiritual healing. It reminds me very much of guru yoga for those of you familiar with Dzogchen practice. Read this book for yourself and give out several for gifts. Surya Das, I can't wait for more of your writings. You are one fine writer! Bodhi Leaf, Buddhist and Reiki Master.

I have been pursuing Buddhist literature for many years and I have to admit I was a little bit disappointed with this book from Lama Surya Das. Whilst I hold his other two in higher regard (Awakening the Buddha within, Awakening the Buddhist Heart), I thought this particular rendition was lacking in substance. The title was somewhat misleading. Whilst Surya Das does discuss one of the virtues of Buddhism (if I can call it that)of letting go, it is purely a description of anecdotes of people who haven't let go. Letting go is such a simple thing and yet is also one of the hardest. If you're looking for instructions as to how to achieve 'letting go', there isn't any here. Anecdotes don't stop there - there are sprinkled everywhere throughout this book.
The rest of the book looks at other elements such as loss and heroism. It's a bit of a mish mash of this and the other. I thought that there wasn't enough here to relate to the title of the book. Maybe a different title would have been more fitting, such as 'More Buddhist talk about Mindfulness'.
If you are new to Buddhism and need evidence that you are not alone in your pain, then this book will provide you with stories of others like yourself. Compassion and understanding is yours to be gotten. There's nothing much more here.
I'm of the impression that Surya Das is a stout practising Buddhist and a lot of his writing is geared towards participating in the solid practice of specific medidations and rituals. However, if you're like me and you find that Buddhist views resonate within you without becoming a devout follower, then I'd recommend you seek out other great works, such as those of Charlotte Beck or Pema Chodron.

A friend gave a copy of this book to me about three years ago, when I was in the depths of depression. It helped me tremendously, and, no, I didn't have to become a Buddhist in order to feel better.

"Letting go of the person you used to be" does not mean completely changing everything about your life, nor does it mean attempting to forget or no longer to care about people you love and have lost. The book's focus is, in fact, on accepting grief and sadness as not only natural, unavoidable aspects of living, but as opportunities for emotional (or spiritual, if you will) growth.

I won't attempt to describe the specific content of the book further, with one exception: For me, one of the most effective passages was that in which Surya Das writes that of course it is difficult to effect change--or even to think about change--when one is really struggling with grief, loss, or sadness. But, he writes, what's the alternative? Just to wallow in, deny, or suppress the pain? Clearly, none of those is an effective or healthy course of action. Therefore, the only reasonable option left is to accept the pain and deal with it as best you can.

This book helped me deal. And it may help you.

Like Lama Surya Das's other books, it is an easy to read, well written book with the occassional funny, dry humor that I enjoy.
The great thing about the Lama's writing is that he presents the writing from a viewpoint that anyone from any religion can appreciate.

Loved the book! Staight forward, easy to understand information. Very spiritual, not necessarily religious. This book made a lot of sense to me. Full of common-sense ideas and values. Will definitely read again.

I met Surya Das in 1997, however briefly. At the time I didn't know what I would find in his books, or the path it would help me head down some years later.

This book is much like his other's, in terms of his experiences, with quotes and insights from an eclectic set of authors, writers, philosophers, all of which gear you toward the concept of "Letting Go."

Change is very hard for most humans, but it is inevitable. Loss is examined here, loss of loved ones, pets, friends, many things.

In all of Surya Das' books, I find something that challenges me in my practice but especially in my real life. He hits you in a language easily understood, but not in a talking-down way.

Losing or letting go is not the end; it is a beginning.

Just enjoyed a differnt perspective ... You dont need to be a buddhist to benifit from this book. Worth every cent paid. The simple ideas presented here are so basic we tend to overlook them as we go about our lives.

I bought this book months ago but read it this week when a relative was dying of cancer. Suddenly I realized that this book was extraordinary to accept and cope with the loss of a love one. I've read almost all Lama Surya Das books because I am interested in Buddhism but this book is very easy to read and multi-religious, since it's teachings are applicable to any religion. I would reccomend it to ANY person who is accompanying a terminally ill person or as a FIRST book to understand Buddhist philosophy. This book won't offend any Christian, Jew or Muslim.

Lama Surya Das is amazing! If you haven't read any of his work, I don't know what to say. I read the reviews and bought this book. It sat on my shelf for 2 years. I finally read it, and every good review made sense!! I couldn't believe I let it just sit! All I can say is that if you are stuck in a rut, holding onto your past and are ready to be enlightened, buy this and actually READ IT!!! I have since gone on to get the rest of his books, all of which are just as fabulous!