Customer Reviews

The Lexicon of Stupidity

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Absolutely hilarious. I'm still chuckling about the muskrat that was taken to the Humane Society to be "euphemized." The quotes generally come from reputable newspapers and other sources. It would have been helpful if citation dates were included to look up the quote within its original context, though I expect most people aren't interested in researching the original citation. I have heard some of the quotes before and wonder if all of the quotes are true or original.

348 Pages of the "stupidest things ever written, printed, or inscribed" presents any reader ready for factual proof that everyone else is stupider than they are -- and ready to go on record to prove it all for posterity -- can find that proof right here. However, the people in Ross and Kathryn Petras' books are the alleged "best and brightest" of society including celebrities, authors, athletes, politicians, leaders of major corporations, and others of note. With no-holds-barred, The Lexicon of Stupidity will expose them all, much to the readers' delight!

Readers will feel so much more sure of their own intelligence when they read of the Metallica guitarist who states that his "guitars are his unbilical cord ... directly wired into his head." Then there's American Airlines who thoughtfully (and stupidly) thought to tag these directions on a package of nuts: "Instructions -- Open packet, eat nuts."

Of course, you must make your own decision about buying this book. The best advice I can give you is to consider this quote from a Canadian newscaster: "As Francis Bacon said, some books are to be ... What the hell did he say?"

I say don't miss this book!

"The Lexicon of Stupidity" catalogues a bizarre assortment of humorous quotations into a bewildering array of categories, some of which are so specialized you will be shocked that more than one appropriate quotation even exists (e.g. "Shakespeare, Enduring Impact of.") The 348 page book is a quick read, but wholly enjoyable. I rarely laugh aloud when reading, but some of these quotes are so otherworldly I couldn't help myself.

While there is no reasonable way to cover all the ground the authors, Ross and Kathryn Petras, traverse, I can't help mentioning some of my subjective favorites. These will give you a flavor for the material, but they are like the tip of an iceberg.

Some outstanding excerpts from resumes:

"Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
"Extensive experience in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
"Previous Experience: Self-employed - A fiasco."

These go hand in hand with questions asked by people being interviewed for employment:

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
"The job description mentions weekend work. Are you serious?"

Bad film scripts get a nod (from "Sheena" starring Tanya Roberts):

"You will be welcome in Zukuru! The head man's locust bean cakes- they'll be your locust bean cakes! His fermented buffalo milk will be your fermented buffalo milk."

Some examples are just too strange to classify:

"Information wanted as to the whereabouts of Mrs. J. O. Plonk (Blonk) wife of J. O. Plonk (Clonk.)"

Of course the government, particularly the IRS, is deservedly singled out for scorn in these helpful regulatory citations:

"Illegal income, such as stolen or embezzled money, must be included in your gross income."
"Passive activity income does not include the following: income for an activity that is not a passive activity."

There are many DVD and video titles that I am now very interested to see, including "How to Preserve Common Seaweeds," "Checking For Head Warpage," and the stirring "How Pins Float on Water." Hong Kong also offers a new Kung Fu movie "No! I Saw a Vomiting Crab." (I can't wait for that one.)

Fortunately I'm a big reader, so I will be checking out a lot of books I found here, including "The Inheritance of Hairy Ear Rims," "A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coatings," "A Toddler's Guide to the Rubber Industry," and of course "The Art of Faking Exhibition Poultry."

Finally, the book takes an upbeat tone discussing wedding announcements. While several interesting announcements are featured, one from the Manchester (England) 'Evening News' was almost poetically lyrical: "The bride wore a gown of Heavy Oldham Corporation Gasworks." Now that's the start of a great marriage!

There are so many other great quotes in this book, that a brief review can't do them justice. Do yourself a favor and pick up the book, the laughs will quickly follow.

It's not War and Peace; but it's a heck of a lot of fun.
If you're needing a good laugh, pick it up and open any page. Better yet, read a few entries to a friend who's down. You'll both be howling.

There's nothing really new here. As previously mentioned, News of the Weird and other sources regularly cover similar item. However, it's a pleasure to have a small book that's cutely organized. It's more accessible that the net and is fun to leave on the table. The reactions of friends who peruse it provide shared laughs.

Especially at he price, it's a fun thing to have or gift to give.

This is the funniest book i ever read!!!!! It has many catogories from actors to political subjects. This is a great read on a bad day!

Very cute book. Very amusing to read of other's stupidity. (Especially since I did not have to deal with them.)

This is a small book with short soundbites, great to throw in your bag to read on the subway or at lunch. It is smaller than I expected, but it packs a lot in. Some are quotes, some are newspaper headlines, some are from publications. It's a fun read.

For those of us who enjoy reading about stupid things, this is a clever addition to the collection. Well suited for a good laugh.

Great categorized compilation of language mis-uses, malaprops, faux pas, overstatements of the obvious, and complete brain-fades quoted from a wide variety of sources. You realize most speakers don't actually listen to what they're saying.

Very entertaining.