Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief [Hardcover]

Jennifer Elison (Author), Chris Mcgonigle (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2003

When someone close to us dies, the world-our relatives, acquaintances, and society at large-expects us to grieve. Of course, as taboo as it is to admit or talk about, not every death brings with it overwhelming or exclusive sadness. Labeled a "nontraditional grief response" by therapists and counselors, a measure of relief or even happiness is far more common than the clinical description would have us believe. Sometimes we are relieved that our loved one is no longer suffering; at the other end of the spectrum, a death might finally free us of an abusive or unhappy relationship. In either case, feeling any measure of relief breeds guilt and, in turn, continued silence.Jennifer Elison and Chris McGonigle have experienced the discomfort and shame of mixed relief firsthand. In this groundbreaking book, they share their own and others' stories, compassionate clinical analysis, and pragmatic counsel with other disenfranchised survivors. Shedding light on feelings that many deem insensitive, callous, or even strange, and suggesting ways to come to terms with them, Elison and McGonigle generously validate the reaction so many feel obliged to hide, ultimately relieving the corresponding guilt with which so many are burdened.For more information, please visit the authors' website: www.liberatinglosses.com

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The writing is excellent... a clear, direct, honest and nonjudgmental therapist-in-a-binding for nontraditional grievers." -- HippoPress 5/29/03

About the Author

Jennifer Elison, Ed.D., has been a grief and transition counselor in private practice since 1990. She lives in Montana. Chris McGonigle, Ph.D., is the author of Surviving Your Spouse's Chronic Illness and has been a Widowed Persons Service volunteer for many years. She lives in Montana.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (April 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738206377
• ISBN-13: 978-0738206370
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.7 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,591,196 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A pioneering work, September 12, 2003

By 

Marty Tousley "Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC" (Traverse City MI and Scottsdale AZ USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Hardcover)

I found this book to be extraordinary in its insights, generous in the honesty of its authors and unique in the permission it offers so many troubled grievers to feel what others may regard as "unacceptable" feelings. Because I often work with people grieving the loss of their pets, I am particularly interested in and sensitive to the needs of "disenfranchised" grievers. In my work as a hospice bereavement counselor, I've certainly encountered a number of widows and widowers who were consumed with guilt because they felt so liberated and free instead of sorrowful and lonely (as their families and friends expected them to feel) when their spouses died. I think the impact of this book will be enormous, and I am grateful to both these authors for having the courage, the discipline and the collaborative effort it must have taken to write it. (As one who's authored some books and articles of my own, I know how challenging it can be to collaborate with another writer!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for producing such an important work!

I am more than pleased to recommend this book to my clients as well as my bereavement colleagues, and I have already taken the liberty of listing it on the Links page of my own Grief Healing Web site, at http://griefhealing.com/HumanLossLinks.htm -- under the (newly created, thanks to this pioneering work!) category of DEATH THAT BRINGS RELIEF.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A good book on "nontraditional" grieving, April 17, 2003

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Hardcover)

Not many books exist to help people suffering from nontraditional grief responses, so I was really happy to find this. The subjects covered in the book include the loss of someone with whom you had a difficult or abusive relationships, the relief felt by primary caregivers when the person they were caring for dies, and how to resolve issues you may have had with a dead person.
The book deals a lot more with the relief often felt after a long illness than other topics, and it seems to focus on husband-wife dynamics more than anything else. I wish they had explored some other types of relationships, like parent-child, more, and I recommend another book in addition for children grieving a difficult parent, but the book was very helpful.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Losses Not Covered, May 18, 2007

By 

Diane Miller (Montrose, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Paperback)

This book was very interesting and held some useful information. However, a large amount of the lessons and information pertained to the authors' personal stories and the issues dealing with marital partners, former and present. I would have liked to had a little more information on dealing with the losses of parents, siblings, friends, etc., with whom people have a bad relationship and how the survivors deal with those losses. But I do recommend the book if for no other reason than it says out loud what many people are afraid to say - that often times death is a relief to those left behind.