Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief [Paperback]

Jennifer Elison (Author), Chris Mcgonigle (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Describe[s] anticipatory grief and share[s] the conflicting emotions people experience during extended illness and after a loved one dies." -- South Bend Tribune 02/24/04

"Like an affirming embrace." -- Counseling Today

"The book has tremendous value...offering insights and hope." -- Death Studies July 2004

Product Description

A wise and validating guide to coming to terms with feelings of relief when the world expects you to grieve.

When someone dies, those left behind are expected to grieve. But, as taboo as it is to admit, not every death brings great sadness. Labeled "nontraditional grief response" by therapists and counselors, a positive reaction following a death is becoming more common, especially now that drugs and medical treatments keep people alive much longer than they or their families might wish. Sometimes we are relieved that our loved one is no longer suffering; at the other end of the spectrum, a death might finally free us of an abusive or unhappy relationship. In either case, the cultural expectation for sadness, loneliness, and despair only adds to the guilt and conflict felt by many "relieved grievers."

Authors Jennifer Elison and Chris McGonigle have lived through their own "liberating losses." Illuminating for the first time a reaction that many deem insensitive, inappropriate, or strange, Ellison and McGonigle share their own and others' stories, thoughtful clinical analysis, and pragmatic counsel. Wise, compassionate, and groundbreaking, Liberating Losses expands the traditional definition of grief and, in so doing, generously validates the feelings that so many feel obliged to hide.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (April 13, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738209481
• ISBN-13: 978-0738209487
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,310,330 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A pioneering work, September 12, 2003

By	Marty Tousley "Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC" (Fountain Hills, AZ USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Hardcover)

I found this book to be extraordinary in its insights, generous in the honesty of its authors and unique in the permission it offers so many troubled grievers to feel what others may regard as "unacceptable" feelings. Because I often work with people grieving the loss of their pets, I am particularly interested in and sensitive to the needs of "disenfranchised" grievers. In my work as a hospice bereavement counselor, I've certainly encountered a number of widows and widowers who were consumed with guilt because they felt so liberated and free instead of sorrowful and lonely (as their families and friends expected them to feel) when their spouses died. I think the impact of this book will be enormous, and I am grateful to both these authors for having the courage, the discipline and the collaborative effort it must have taken to write it. (As one who's authored some books and articles of my own, I know how challenging it can be to collaborate with another writer!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for producing such an important work!

I am more than pleased to recommend this book to my clients as well as my bereavement colleagues, and I have already taken the liberty of listing it on the Links page of my own Grief Healing Web site, at http://griefhealing.com/HumanLossLinks.htm -- under the (newly created, thanks to this pioneering work!) category of DEATH THAT BRINGS RELIEF.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A good book on "nontraditional" grieving, April 17, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Hardcover)

Not many books exist to help people suffering from nontraditional grief responses, so I was really happy to find this. The subjects covered in the book include the loss of someone with whom you had a difficult or abusive relationships, the relief felt by primary caregivers when the person they were caring for dies, and how to resolve issues you may have had with a dead person.
The book deals a lot more with the relief often felt after a long illness than other topics, and it seems to focus on husband-wife dynamics more than anything else. I wish they had explored some other types of relationships, like parent-child, more, and I recommend another book in addition for children grieving a difficult parent, but the book was very helpful.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Losses Not Covered, May 18, 2007

By	Diane Miller (Montrose, CA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief (Paperback)

This book was very interesting and held some useful information. However, a large amount of the lessons and information pertained to the authors' personal stories and the issues dealing with marital partners, former and present. I would have liked to had a little more information on dealing with the losses of parents, siblings, friends, etc., with whom people have a bad relationship and how the survivors deal with those losses. But I do recommend the book if for no other reason than it says out loud what many people are afraid to say - that often times death is a relief to those left behind.