Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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32 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Be open-minded: This book is worth reading., December 5, 2006
We don't need to agree with this book entirely to find it worth reading. Do NOT hesitate to buy it just because other reviewers found the book disagreeable. That may be precisely the reason why we should read it -- use it as a springboard for intelligent discussion! I found that many parts of the book were eye-opening and revelational, even if I personally remain undecided about some of DeMoss's opinions.
Many intelligent women may find themselves offended by DeMoss's conservative viewpoints, especially with regard to her stance against the use of birth control. As a single, professional woman, I, too, was at first taken aback by her statement that the highest calling for women was to be a wife and mother. ***However, DeMoss herself is a single woman and has no children of her own.*** If you read carefully, she later clarifies that it is the highest calling IF it is God's calling for your particular life, obviously. The apostle Paul said that his own personal view was that it was better to be single in order to be fully devoted to God.
Lies Women Believe helps uncover how everyone, including men, are subtly deceived by today's modern society. She inspects today's popular beliefs held by most American women and clearly shows how it deviates from the simple, undeniable truth as written in God's Word. A must-read! Great for small groups.
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163 of 207 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Had problems with the book, May 23, 2005
This book outlined the lies that many women get caught up in. I felt that there were some good things about this book. We do need to take responsibility for our actions, not remain a victim, and to realize that sin is sin and that God can forgive it all. Surprisingly, the submission chapter was done well, explaining the myths of submission and how a woman in an abusive situation should get out.
But there were many things I didn't like in this book. First, the author took a patronizing, critical, judging tone towards women. She seemed to like to blame women for a lot of problems, without recognizing the role that men often play in those problems.
I was deeply offended about what she had to say about how "a career is more fulfilling than being a wife and mother". I do agree with that statement. But she uses that statement to imply that the only place for the woman is in the home. She blames working women ("in part") for affairs, women being on welfare (I thought working took women OFF welfare), elderly parent being in nursing homes, divorce, single motherhood, teen violence, etc. She doesn't acknowledge other factors going into those things. I mean, men and women have had affairs since the beginning of time. Elderly parents are in nursing homes because they require 24/7 care, not because of the women working (don't sons or SAHM's put their parents in nursing homes?) I work outside the homes, yet, I do have meals with my family and they aren't all fast food or frozen. As far as women gaining financial independence to free them to leave their husbands...I don't know of many women who work for that purpose. But isn't it OK for each woman to have her own money in cases of abuse, addiction, or when the man leaves them for someone else? What if the husband loses his job, becomes disabled, dies, etc? And the Proverbs 31 woman did a little of everything, including working out of the home.
And yes, children are a blessing, but Demoss seems to think it is wrong to limit the number of children a woman has. She comes from a family of 7 kids, and that's great that her mom enjoyed raising 7 kids, but that is not for everyone. The reasons that Demoss gives--not having patience, not being able to physically handle more kids--are perfectly legitimate reasons, that she appeared to mock. Other than the issue of abortion, the Bible doesn't say that limiting the number of children is a sin, just like it is not a sin for women to work outside the home.
And on emotions, she seems to act like it is a sin to call for pizza when you don't feel like cooking (guess I sinned tonight, after my stressful day at work) or not cleaning house when you don't feel like it. And about passive husbands...what if the husband is an alcoholic and can't hold or look for a job? What is the wife to do? Let her and her children starve?
Although there were some good points to the book, I had a problem with many of the issues presented. If anyone were to go through the book, please go through it with a group to work out the trouble spots.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, February 8, 2007
For years I've heard women talk about this book and I finally finished it. Nancy Leigh De Moss's book Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free gives a pretty thorough overview of common areas of deception
* Lies about themselves: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings
* Lies about sin: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
* Lies about their marriage: If I submit to my husband, I will be miserable.
* Lies about their emotions: I can't control my emotions.
* Lies about their circumstances: I just can't take it anymore.
We have all experienced a struggle with at least one of these categories and Nancy sheds some light on these lies and how to be delivered from them to freedom and forgiveness.
The main point I liked from this book was her exhortation to deal specifically with lies in our lives by:
1. Identifying the areas of sinful behavior in our lives
2. Identify the lies at root of that behavior.
3. Replace the lies with the Truth.
I thought Nancy did a good job outlining some of the lies behind feelings and thoughts women have-not believing that God loves you, entitlement, physical beauty matters most, my sin isn't really that bad, it is my responsibility to change my husband, I can't control my emotions, I shouldn't have to suffer and if my circumstances were different, I would be different. As you can see, she covers many of the ways in which we could be deceived. At the end of each chapter she has provided questions to stimulate personal reflection over the material helping the reader-"Agree with God. Accept responsibility. And affirm the Truth." She says at the end of the book, "True freedom is found in a vital, growing relationship with the Lord Jesus." (p. 250) Overall she has some good perspectives.
I found the main premise of this book to actually be pretty confusing. It seems that she is writing to Christian women, but then she says that if she had to describe the majority of Christian women she would use the following words:
frazzled, defeated
exhausted, depressed
burned-out, ashamed
overwhelmed, emotionally unstable
confused, uptight
angry, insecure
frustrated, lonely
discouraged, fearful
and, yes, even suicidal
Bondage is another word that comes to mind when I think of contemporary Christian women...they are not free...by their own admission. (p. 17)
These Christian women don't really sound like Christian women at all. There really is no difference between that list above and the life of a non-Christian woman. It isn't to say that the Christian woman does not struggle with some of those things, I know I have felt exhausted, overwhelmed, angry and discouraged, but can a Christan woman be in bondage to something other than God?
I looked up the word bondage in the dictionary and it presents the idea of someone being subject to, controlled and mastered by something. If a Christian woman struggles in her relationship with God because she thinks, "God isn't good. If her were He would______." Nancy's method to evaluate the lie and replace it with the truth is very helpful, but I don't think Scripture describes a real Christian being mastered by doubt or fear, or anything other that the Lord.
In Romans 6:16-18 Paul writes:
"Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey--whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness."
Throughout this book, De Moss wants the reader to know that they are not alone and that struggling with these deceptions is very normal. She offers Biblical hope in saying that change is possible through the person of Jesus Christ and the power of the truth of God's Word. In using terms like "bondage" or "enslaved to_____" to describe Christians, but in light of Romans 6, I think De Moss is confusing the need for "sanctification" with the need for "justification."
* Being justified is a one time event in which a sinner is made right with God. Justification is the moment where through faith in Christ a person is set free from sin, judgment and eternal death and given a relationship with God and the power of the Holy Spirit. At justification, God makes you a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), you are filled with the Holy Spirit and empowered to resist temptation and pursue righteousness.
* Being sanctified is the lifelong process of putting off sin and putting on holiness.
If someone has not been justified they cannot be sanctified. This book was in need of clarity on this point.
All in all this book offered some Biblical insights on lies that we women believe. A Christian woman using good discernment can glean some great things from this book, but I don't know that I would really recommend it. Instead of this book I would suggest Martha Peace's new book Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face.
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