From Publishers Weekly
In this brief book--part memoir, part meditation--Cobb (How They Met) pushes us to address death "as lovingly" as we deal with birth or as analytically as we approach cooking. The author herself has seen both her parents die, yet she has found exultation within grief, in the form of "ordinary miracles" at the hospice where her mother died, such as when her mother whispered her last words, "I am so happy." Cobb suggests that "the essence of a person" perseveres in infirmity; indeed, her dying mother remained her crusty self despite her Alzheimer's. "Grief activates empathy," Cobb claims, yet she recognizes that, while it's important to listen, others' stories of losing loved ones serve as suggestions rather than prescriptions for each person's unique experience. Maintaining that "grief needs a place to go" over time, Cobb recommends taking the initiative with someone suffering a loss, doing something useful rather than giving advice. Some of Cobb's stories about her life and her friends range afield, and a few observations seem obvious, such as that some friends will fall away when illness hits. Cobb also has some New-Age tendencies ("I believe the dead linger," she declares; later, she ends a chapter with several anecdotes about well-loved birds appearing after a death). Still, this touching book for the most part avoids sentimentality and, despite its meandering, holds some worthy wisdom. (Apr.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Library Journal
Cobb, a former public radio host and actress, has lost her father to suicide, her mother to Alzheimer's, and a close friend to cancer. In her quest to understand death and dying, she shares her encounters and observations with others who have dealt with the death of a loved one. A tribute to those Cobb has loved and lost, this book is not entirely successful in taking the message to a broader audience. On one hand, some carefully crafted chapters, such as the one about her mother's last days in hospice, elicit a deep-felt response--the poignant dialog and insight transcend personal tragedy to create something universally touching. Other chapters, however, offer disjointed vignettes that never seem to settle on a theme. The author aptly describes herself as having a "penchant for rambling." Overall, this is an interesting and somewhat entertaining read, but it does not break any new ground. Cynthia Pearson and Margaret L. Stubbs's Parting Company: Understanding the Loss of a Loved One (LJ 8/99) provides a much richer source of information. Recommended only for public libraries with large budgets.
---Annette Haines, Central Michigan Univ. Libs., Mount Pleasant Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
