Customer Reviews

Life After Church: God's Call to Disillusioned Christians

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

In some religious circles, there is no greater heresy than walking away from church. For that and many other reasons, some Christians go through the motions week after week, attending church services that leave them feeling spiritually numb, hollow, or worse. But others have chosen to make the exodus, because to stay would be to live a lie. Brian Sanders calls these people "leavers" --- Christians who love God but who cannot in good conscience continue to be a part of a traditional church.

Sanders knows these leavers well, because he is one of them.

A member of an intentional faith community in inner-city Tampa, Florida, Sanders walked away from church 10 years ago. Early on in the book, he offers this commentary on church as we in America know it: "I still can't fathom what it is about traditional church services that people like. All of it seems so tedious to me --- on the best days tolerable, on the worst painful." What he knew then, and what he has discovered in the intervening years, is that many Christians share that perspective. Some have left the church, but others remain, often out of guilt --- and then they compound the guilt by feeling guilty about continuing to attend services under false pretenses. It is to both the leavers and the seriously disaffected that Sanders addresses his book.

The "leavers" Sanders writes about are not people who have simply left one church in search of another, but rather those who have left church itself --- or, as he puts it, "the experience of church as we know it." He quotes one contributor who compared church services to the movie Groundhog Day, in which the main character is forced to live through the same experiences day after day after day. To many Christians, that is what church life amounts to --- an endless cycle of sameness, a far cry from the fire within that burns with a longing to see the transformational power of God manifested in their lives.

Sanders addresses a host of arguments against leaving the church, all of which he has wrestled with. But after years of rationalizing his reasons for going or not going to church and berating himself for disliking it so much, he discovered there was one question that kept nagging at him: Was it possible that God might actually be leading people to leave the church? "I'm sure that we should remain committed to the church, as the body of Christ, its head and the mission that it has been given, but so much of what we call 'church' simply isn't," he writes. That said, Sanders is much less critical of the church than you might expect. He simply dreams of more.

Sanders describes the five stages most "leavers" experience: contentment with a specific church; disaffection, when, for example, the church fails to practice what it preaches; threshold, when the person leaves physically but not emotionally; closing the door, when the emotional connection to a church is finally severed; and new beginning, discovering a vision for a new expression of faith. He follows up with a comprehensive look at the reasons people leave church, a section I consider to be must-reading for anyone in church leadership, especially pastors. Sanders is writing about people whose reasons for leaving church are profound and complex, so you can forget the notion that these individuals left because they were expecting to find the perfect church. What you will find are thoughtful and insightful reasons that have grown out of a deep desire for a more meaningful way of living the life of faith.

Sanders offers helpful guidance to those who are considering leaving church as well as to those who have chosen to stay, providing the latter with practical suggestions on how to reform the church from within and maintain their joy in the process. For those who have chosen to leave, Sanders provides a chapter on how to leave respectfully and graciously.

--- Reviewed by Marcia Ford

Brian Sanders delivers what the title of the book is: Life After Church. It does exist and it can happen. Before I get to the "But...." let me say what I like.

He gives some good advice on what can be a painful time. Some of what the book talks about I have been way past for some time now, like the question of "should I stay or should I go now?" (I'll leave my review of The Clash for some other time <smile>). If you find yourself in that situation then give the man a read. You just might find a little stability in a turbulent storm. I also like the empahsis on the Kingdom of God. That was the emphasis in Jesus' ministry and we need to understand it a little better if we claim to be his followers. Another thing I like is, for those of us who have already left, the advice to make something better, not just tear down what we don't like about traditional church structures. I have seen enough of that in my own spiritual pilgrimage. It doesn't take much to point out obvious failures but making a viable alternative sometimes gets lost. And, of course, trying to find people who are willing to let go of the comfortable methods and structures we were raised with and go with something else.... well that's another story.

Now comes the "But...." In chapter 4, Brian Sanders shares what he feels "church" is in a New Testament sense. To have it involves worship, community, and mission. If you only have 2 out of 3 then it's not what church is in a New Testament sense. It might not be bad but you can't call it "church' either. I agree with that 100%. In the New Testament, "church" NEVER meant a building or a meeting time for religious activities. It always meant a gathering of people, called together for a specific purpose. I agree completely with what Brian Sanders says about "church" in chapter 4. I can also say that I have never experienced "church' in a New testament sense after being a follower of Jesus for over 30 years. I've been to religious country clubs that called themselves churches and I've had religious CEOs that called themselves pastors. But I've never experienced anything remotely like what the New Testament calls "church". The bottom line is this: if where you are going doesn't measure up to what the New Testament calls "church" then my question is, why are you still going there? In my opinion, this is where Brian Sanders gets a little wishy-washy. I don't understand how you can tell somebody to stay somewhere that does not measure up to what the New Testament calls "church". Maybe I have this belief because I spent 25 years trying to change things from the inside of what most would call "church" and never got anywhere.

This is why I could only give 3 stars. I'm not saying this is not a good book. I think it is. I do not want to discourage someone from reading it. Anyone who finds themselves disillusioned with what they have experienced as "church" should do themselves a favor and read this book. I just don't agree with all of Brian Sanders conclusions like I'm sure he wouldn't agree with all of my own.

Do you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you love God? Do you want, and try, to become more like Christ each day? Do you feel like your local church is helping you, or hindering you? If you have ever wondered if you are the only one who feels disconnected from God during church services, this book is for you. If you sit through a "worship service" and wonder what abundant life would be like, this book is for you. If you have ever wondered why you are so frustrated with church, this book is for you. So many times, we as church leaders accuse those who leave the church of being uncommitted and backsliders. Maybe, just maybe, people are leaving the church to find God. Maybe we have it backwards. Read this book.

The book is very good for christians struggling with leaving their church. Leavers are clearly defined as people who leave because staying prevents them from developing their full potential in God and ruins their relationship with Him. They are so important for the advancement of the church - they show churches the 'dead fish' that poison their shores and should be removed. He calls them 'prophetic leavers'.

Still, the only two options he gives are stay or leave to start another church.

After leaving an extremely abusive church, going through counselling and a lot of study and personal search for God's vision for my life I find there is a third option. I see christianity in a whole different way. I agree that many will start a different kind of church, more fresh and more biblical - but I have been praying so much that God shows me HIS plan for the church, the way HE intended christianity to be, HIS plan for mankind. I am slowly understanding how He is so willing to lovingly affect people in everyday life - even those that run away from churches. I understand there is a way of bringing God into the lives of those who reject churches and reject the idea of God, because they don't reject God Himself, they reject the conotation God and christianity have in their minds (a very bad conotation unfortunately created by christians themselves). It is just a matter of language.

I now think there is a third possibility - a life ministry that is not based upon church and Bible mainly, but on God's character first and utmost. There are ways to speak God to people who don't understand and don't give authority to the Bible or the church.

Many reject the gospel message presented in the classical way - Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, etc. - just because they grew up with strong wrong ideas about this message. But they would accept God if they discovered His character. I know that because I live in a communist country and my father has always rejected God and christianity because of the strong atheistic teaching during communism. So many years I tried to tell him the Gospel and I suffered so much because he rejected it - I was so afraid he would go to Hell. How many christians tell the Gospel but never live it? I was upset with him for not accepting it, but I never had time for him because of the busy church schedule - investing in people who 'responded', who were 'worth it'.

After leaving the church I have started to see everything in a whole different way - I really believe if you sincerely want to know the truth, God will reveal it to you. My conviction now is that we 'tell' the Gospel, but we don't live it out for people. All we do is in order to sooner or later force the Gospel on them - we never just love and accept and support people with no other interest in mind than be friens, we never do what Jesus did.
We are so used to 'say' things and make people responsible for rejecting our spoken message, but we never take time to be living testimonies of God's love and character towards them. So many more people would respond to love and understanding and turn to God even without the fear of Hell! Just out of love.

I now think there are ways to find out the language people understand so that you present God to them in the way they understand it, without puttin everyone in a box. Even more, instead of telling people what to do, what to believe, how to live - better stir up a desire to start their own search after God, so that He reveals Himself to them in the way they understand best. And trust Him that He WILL do the work - it's not all on our shoulders.

How can we be so sure that we have THE message, we have THE truth and THE light just because we are a certain type of christians? Just because the Bible says so? And who taught us the Bible? How do we know that he interpreted correctly - just because he says so? Or because he has proofs made by himself or supported by likeminded people? Jesus never said the pastor is the truth, the church is the truth, Paul is the truth... God Himself is THE Truth - it is by searching HIM and HIM alone that we have access to the Truth. We don't want to teach and defend our beliefs for years only to find out that we had been wrong all the way. I've been there and it's PAINFUL.

I now think the best approach for a third type leavers (who are going to be very few) is to go from bottom up - by helping people want to start a very personal search of God, in which He reveals Himself in response to their quest. This may mean that they will not live a very classical christianity and will be involved with people on a more 'human' level, acting as guides more than authorities that know how things should be. They will rather encourage people to find their own identity and life path discovered along the way, instead of franchising their own identity, beliefs and lifestyle.

All these are ideas touched in the book, but strongly supporting doing that in a new kind of church that is still gathering around the Bible Study and other church like activities. Which are great - for people who want that - what I am thinking about is a third type of christians that know how to reach out to those who would never go to a church, who would never turn to classic church chrisitanity when invited, but who would like to start searching for their identiy and life path, leading sooner or later to God. And from there to let them choose their own style, as guided by God and not by what We think is suitable for them.

If there are others who feel the same way, I would be glad to exchange our ideas and experience on tabara.kairos@gmail.com

I appreciated Brian Sanders approach to addressing a very sensitive but necessary issue facing many Spirit-filled Christians today. I especially respected the manner in which he asks his readers to grapple with the Biblical definition of "the Church." He makes it very clear that whether a believer "leaves" or "stays" within the congregational church is not the main issue, but whether they follow biblical disciplines in the context of an authentic and accountable community. Both pastors and laity need to read this book to enhance their walk with Christ and to ultimately follow the Master's call.

Life After Church was an incredibly hopeful book. Sanders pegged both the positive and negative reasons for leaving exactly. At times it seemed that he had been in the room listening to conversations that I have had.

He doesn't just stop at the act of leaving. As the book progresses he begins to answer the question that most of leavers have of 'what next' and 'how to stay connected to the body of Christ' if you have left.

Sanders also gives almost leavers or those who have checked out of church but still sit on a pew advice. He shows them how to stay and not be miserable but to make a change in their congregations.

One interesting aspect of this book is that he ties its ideas into what George Barna talks about in his book Revolution. The author introduces the idea of revolutionary leaving to form new communities to carry out God's work. He gives advice on how to leave in a positive way for both you and your former institution.

Throughout the book, he ties his ideas back to a scriptural foundation with a natural, not preachy, style. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is fed up with traditional church structure but does not want to descend into negative do-nothing-ism and complaining.

As a "Leaver" myself, it's good to know I'm not the only one. I've been waiting for someone to write a book like this for a long time... glad I finally found it! I haven't finished reading it yet, but so far here are my thoughts: I appreciate Sanders willingness to share his personal experience- it's something I'm sure many of us can relate to. He gives himself, and his readers, permission to follow the Spirit working within rather than simply cave in to the organizational pressures from the church outside. There is also something for the professional in here, as Sanders dissects the process from "pew sitter" to "pew quitter" (my words.) The book varies from a personal to a technical perspective throughout, so there is good material for both encouragement and understanding.

I didn't want to like this book. I thought of myself as a believer and someone who was a part of the church. Coming out of this book, that perspective is challenged. A member of the church actively seeks out changes that need to be made, they don't wait for others to get around to it. Reading this book over a summer where I was becoming a little disillusioned with the church was convicting in a way I don't want to forget. Sanders was able to articulate a lot about my frustrations with the church and what I should be doing with those. Certainly a provocative read, and one I wish entire congregations could be forced to read.

this is a promising book. a lot of real people's stories,feelings shared honestly.it is so eye opening to learn how people in churches may actually feel behind the icurtain.it is sad but hopeful.is there a brochure type version of it? i gave it only three stars because of the language. it has a cabinet theologian's feel to it at times. I enjoyed it.

this is a good book so don't get me wrong it just lacked some.. The author gives a clear outline of what Church is supposed to be, but then encourages people to stay in the system that lacks.
So i do not give this any more than 3 stars. He makes some very good points and thoughts so this book is not thrown out with the bathwater either...
read it, but have your own opinion..