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Life As I Blow It: Tales of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily in That Order [Kindle Edition]

Sarah Colonna , Chelsea Handler
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (232 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.00
Kindle Price: $9.62
You Save: $5.38 (36%)
Sold by: Random House LLC


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Book Description

In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up.
Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life.
From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof.

Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews


“Hilarious . . . Sarah’s honesty and comedic voice will have you laughing in stitches.”—Jenny McCarthy
“Hilarious, observant, and surprisingly poignant. Look past the toned legs and glorious mane of hair and you’ll find one of the best comic storytellers we’ve got.”—Diablo Cody

About the Author

Sarah Colonna is a writer and roundtable regular on the hit late-night talk show Chelsea Lately, and a producer and star of After Lately. She has been performing stand-up in Los Angeles and across the country for several years and has appeared on various television shows. She used to drink bourbon but now prefers vodka.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1681 KB
  • Print Length: 258 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0345528379
  • Publisher: Villard; Original edition (February 7, 2012)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004YWKKE6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #25,714 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny tales that took me by surprise February 7, 2012
After receiving LIFE AS I BLOW IT through Random House's Early Bird Reads program, I didn't know what to expect. Honestly, I don't like `Chelsea Lately' - I like Chelsea Handler's books, but despise her show, her acting her standup. I took ARE YOU THERE, VODKA? with me on a flight to Japan and was angry when I finished it two hours later. It was that good. Sarah Colonna is a writer and executive producer on `Chelsea Lately', so she had big shoes to fill on this one. Writing a book that amuses me as much as the shenanigans in Chelsea Handler's books is a difficult task, but somehow, Colonna managed to rise to the occasion - and actually might have beat Handler in some aspects.

Colonna's debut is a mixture of sexcapades, drinking stories, and embarrassing adventures. I don't identify with Colonna for a second, being an overeducated, prudish homebody who thinks that a fun night out is going to get Korean barbecue and be home by 9 for five episodes of `Arrested Development' for the 50th time and some string cheese for dessert. Once I started this book, I couldn't stop. From recollections of boyfriends past and her inability to settle down, I was laughing out loud having a great time. With a few exceptions of dull moments and random connecting threads, this book lives up to the expectations given to it as being a book connected to Chelsea Handler's comedic writing mastery.

If you are into comedic books with a more adult take (IE tales of drinking, drugs, and lots of sex), then LIFE AS I BLOW IT is probably a book for you. The stories are funny, ranging from heartfelt to just plain hilarious. And although I don't identify with Colonna, I do identify with being a young person who isn't ready to grow up, be serious, and figure out who I am.
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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bold and surprising February 9, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Whatever your expectations, I believe this book will take you by surprise. It did me.

Rather than just throwing a collection of funny stories together - and don't get me wrong, there is an awesome collection of stories here -- Sarah Colonna sets out in this memoir to explore and, if possible, reconcile competing aspects of her personality. The tales that illustrate this struggle begin in childhood and move to the present. There are moments that are devastatingly funny and some that are just devastating, and I don't sense the usual memoir attempt to whitewash portions of the story or exaggerate certain aspects to make the author look good. I got the feeling I was reading the naked truth, and she does not hold back. This book is bold.

Sarah doesn't go for easy comforts when it comes to her life choices (maybe with her soap opera choices, but who am I to say). She challenges herself in her work and love, and she insists on her right to enjoy life to the fullest.

Throughout the book you realize that, in spite of experience and even success, Sarah's life is still a high-wire act. You can't look away as she continues, on her terms, to figure it all out.

Oh, one more thing: this book is hilarious. Get it.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny title for a very funny book February 7, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Watching Chelsea Lately and After Lately I am usually laughing out loud, more than I do watching any other show on TV and Sarah Colonna has a lot to do with that.

Sarah does not disappoint since she has a way of telling her story with amazing honesty, great detail, sometimes disturbingly clear images, and that quick wit/sarcastic humor that makes her so much fun to watch on TV. There are many highlights and I don't want to create any spoilers but just a few of my favorites include her high school love Bucky who was not the best poet, Lifetime network addiction, true reason for loving baseball, picking roommates based on scent, meeting Chelsea, perfecting her acting skills on cops, how not to wake up in Cabo, the worst way ever to become a cat owner, dating guys who keep notes (creepy), drunk buying a guy flowers, spreading ashes at Yankee Stadium, trying to juggle a relationship and get a career going, why online dating is very flawed, and her love of the movie "Arthur"...not the very crappy Russell Brand remake. I was laughing from the beginning all the way to the last page.

Between all the funny stories I also learned how much crap Sarah has gone through to get to where she is today. When they say success in the entertainment business doesn't happen overnight,this is proof of that. Sarah was tough enough to keep striving to reach her goal when I think most people would have just given up and moved back home, also lucky for her she has a loving support system in the form of her family and the friends she has made along the way. I think this book should be required reading for anyone thinking of moving to Los Angeles to be in the entertainment industry. Thanks for the laughs. Well done, Sarah. Well Done.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Okay January 24, 2014
By Anne H
I was disappointed with this book.

The beginning is poorly written and not well organised, jumping back and forth through time and giving brief anecdotes without any attempt to actually make the reader care. The book is better once it reaches her adulthood but it did not make me laugh out loud at all.

Before reading this I read Chelsea Handler's book "Horizontal Life" which I found to be one of the funniest books I've ever read. This perhaps lead me to expect too much from this book. I'm sure it has the potential to be funny if Colonna were a better writer or if she had spent more time on the book.

I think she would benefit from taking a writing class and learning to show rather than tell.

She may be funny at stand up but writing is certainly not her forté. Her being employed as a "writer" has surely more to do with her 12 year + friendship with Handler than her own ability.
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