Amazon.com Review
If we are to live to our final days with a sense of completion and peace, rather than regret and guilt, we must prepare for old age during our middle age, according to author Sallirae Henderson. As an ordained minister and psychological counselor, Henderson spent the last two decades working with dying people. Over time she noticed that some elders relied upon internal strength and contentment in order to cope with their final hours. Some, however, dwelled in "unresolved despair, rage, and general misery." What made the difference?
"It became alarmingly clear to me that what I choose now in middle age will have a direct bearing on the emotional and spiritual quality of my last years," Henderson writes, "...and whether I will die a complete human being or an unfinished one." With that thought in mind, Henderson decided to offer a guidebook for readers in their 40s and 50s, helping them prepare for old age. In the section on "Emotional Preparation," Henderson covers concepts such as "Befriending Yourself," "Learning to Grieve," and coping with Alzheimer's Disease. In "Spiritual Preparation," the author writes about "Evolving Toward True North" and "Finding a Larger Context for Your Life." Her numerous real-life anecdotes and clear writing style make this a highly persuasive and useful companion. Readers can expect an enormous long-term payoff. In fact, this book probably ensures more peace and security than any retirement account or retirement-home waiting list ever could. --Gail Hudson
From Publishers Weekly
Are Americans prepared for their last, physically limiting years, when they may be disabled or chronically ill? Can preparing for death transform their final years from a time of depression, despair or numbness to an affirming experience of courage and creativity? Henderson, an ordained minister and psychological counselor who has worked with many elderly people, offers rather murky guidelines for coping with this transition. Her advice ranges from the practical (make younger friends so you won't feel so bereft when contemporaries die) to the inspirational (have a working faith in God). At times her prose is mired in abstract verbosity. Instead of calling what follows life "death," she calls it a state of completion, and suggests that once we recognize our "destination," that can "help us discover and evolve the values that will realign us when we are in danger of wavering from our desired course." In the book's first section, which deals with emotional preparation for aging, Henderson exhorts readers to define their identity and worth. Learn to let go, she says, and adjust to changed circumstances; face the reality of loss by finding ways to make a difference. A chapter on Alzheimer's disease, although enlightening, seems out of place in this section. The next section, addressing spiritual preparation, is shorter than the one on emotional preparation because, Henderson notes, "the mind is the seat of language, and spirituality... is a function of the heart." Henderson's sincerity and feeling are evident, but her uneven writing and a lack of clarity hamper the message. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
